My Worth Isn't Measured by a Paycheck

I woke up this morning thinking about being “unemployed” for a year. The moment came and went this past weekend, only hitting me this morning. I was laid off from my corporate gig one year ago, this past Saturday. Today, I am feeling oddly unwanted.

It’s not **unwanted** in that I’m lonely, isolated, or no one cares about me. It’s more a feeling that my heart to serve is no longer wanted or valued. It seems that being laid off is all about outliving your usefulness.

I know that I am useful. I know that I have a lot to offer people. If you asked any of my family or friends, they would all agree. I would gladly give the shirt off my back to help those in need. Let me be clear, I know I have value and I still love to serve.

The unwanted feeling has grown over the last year. The company I spent 11 years with decided, in their infinite wisdom, to cast me aside because of poor decision-making on their part. After dedicating so many long hours and late nights, I get a “thanks, but see ya”.

At first, I took it as a blessing. An opportunity to do something else with my life. God’s way of saying it is time for a change. I was stuck in a weird place for a long, looking for another corporate gig, but being much more selective.

I didn’t want to be in a position where I was sacrificing my time, energy, and health just for the money. If I was going to stay in Corporate America, it was going to be on my terms. Well, the **joke’s** on me.

Corporate America only wants you on their terms. That’s evident from the few interviews I had that seemed to be going well until I mentioned *work/life balance* or *protecting my health*. I was honest in my interviews about not wanting to work myself to the bone like I have **for** the past 20+ years. That’s a good way to get the door slammed in your face.

So, I have been trying to start my own thing. It has been a process that is still ongoing. Asking myself, over and over, questions **like**: what do I like to do the most, what am I good at, what brings me joy, what do I have that can bring value to people. This has not been an easy process.

Sometimes, I feel excited and ready to charge head first into being my own boss. Other times, I feel like I don’t have what it takes to be my own boss. When the entrepreneurial mindset is not something you have naturally, it’s hard to cultivate it. It is for me, at least.

There is also the nagging thought that even if I come up with something that people might value, can I make it work? Am I capable and confident enough to persuade enough folks to part with their hard-earned money for whatever it is I offer?

I realize it’s only been a year and many entrepreneurs take years to finally hit on something that works for them. I need patience and fortitude to see this through to the end. I need God to lead me in the right direction. I must have faith that I will find *that thing* in God’s perfect timing, not mine.

Even though I woke up feeling unwanted by ***the*** world this morning, I come back to the fact that I am wanted by a God that loves me. He made me, and is molding me into what He **wants** me to be. I will continue to lean into Him, letting Him guide my ways.

So, I will continue to write, learn, explore, and plan. And you are all invited to take the journey with me. Have you ever felt undervalued or unappreciated? How did you overcome those feelings? I’d love to hear about it.

—Daniel