never made the honor roll

It’s back to school time here in Florida — we go back early, and then we get out on the proportionately early side, right around Memorial Day.

I’m trying to remember how I felt about the first day of school, back when I was in it, but it’s hard. I know I was nervous about all the new classes, new kids, trying to keep track of my schedule, being burdened again by waking up when it was still dark outside and commuting on a long bus ride and then being assigned so much homework by teachers who never seemed to understand that you had other classes, too, and the homework adds up.

But I’ve also always liked school. I was “good” at it, when I apply myself — which was not always a given. In the grand tradition of this newsletter, the title comes from the lyrics to this song — never made the honor roll/hated rules what I was told/now I am almost free/it’s a dangerous scene when you’re eighteen, oh yeah. I did make the honor roll, some years, but then there were some when I didn’t. I was one of only two kids in my IB program who weren’t accepted into the National Honor Society. I shouldn’t be proud of that — it just shows how much I fucked off, that even my weighted GPA wasn’t good enough — but I kind of weirdly am. I’ve never been a joiner.

In high school, my tradition before the first day was to stay up the night before. I know, I know. If my kids did this I’d be so frustrated with them. I’d be like, what’s wrong with you. But at the time, it made sense to me. My sleep schedule was usually messed up from the summer, and I’d stay up and journal and listen to music and watch the same movies on repeat over and over. (My Depression Movies, which I can tell you about another time, were Can’t Hardly Wait, Only You, and Georgia.)

As a teacher, I had similar nerves but was also really excited to get started on these classes that I’d worked so hard to plan — the reading lists, the assignments, I couldn’t wait to do my tight ten in front of the students. It was always fascinating to me how it could kill in front of one group in the morning and then completely bomb later that afternoon.

As a parent, man, back to school is rough. I feel like the last three weeks have been nothing but clothes shopping and dentist appointments and haircuts and open houses and school supply lists. And it is fucking expensive. New eyeglasses for two kids without any kind of insurance was what really sent me over the edge.

I do generally like Back to School as a time of year, though. I like it even more than New Year’s — that day is about new beginnings, but in a way that makes me feel kind of sad. I really can’t get over that another year is gone and we’ll never see it again, even when the year was a bad one and it’s like, good riddance. Whereas Back to School feels like new beginnings but in a really fun, exciting way. I mean, what’s not to love about a day that you celebrate with new notebooks?

So I’m in back-to-school mode in more ways than one. What about you? Do you like this time of year? Are you going back to school in any way or readying anyone else to?

Currently reading . . . It was nothing but B’s for me this week, coincidentally. If your book starts with A or C-Z, it’s none of my business!! First, I read Beating Heart Baby by Lio Min, which Ehigbor Okosun had recommended to me as “a perfect queer romance,” and she was so right. I loved Santi and Suwa, and there’s a hidden identity element that you know is catnip to me.

Then I read Buckeye by Patrick Ryan, which I tried to tell my husband about because I just wanted to ask him one question and an hour later on the back porch I’d narrated the entire novel to him as tears literally streamed down my face.

Finally, I read Booked at Midnight by E.W. Anderson, which follows The Midnight Book Club (so read that one first). I love this series so much. In it, Aurelia has inherited this magical bookshop from her aunt where, after hours, characters from some of the books come to life and hang out. In the first book, Aurelia burns the midnight oil with Count Vronsky from Anna Karenina and tries to figure out how to give him a happier ending while also trying to figure out a happy ending of her own with Oliver, a somewhat grumpy editor who’s helping her with her Vronsky manuscript. In this second installment, she and Oliver are living together (I mean, spoiler alert . . . but you knew they’d get together after the first book!) which is a dream come true except she’s still waking up in the middle of the night to go hang out with her character friends . . . who Oliver doesn’t know about yet . . . Anderson’s books are cozy fantasy, emphasis on the cozy. They’re just perfect to curl up with on a Sunday afternoon.

watching . . . I finished Hacks! I already miss it. I paused it at one point on this screenshot which feels like a perfect summation of the show:

It was weird that I watched an episode where some characters played “what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done” and then later that same night I watched The Drama with Robert Pattinson and Zendaya that has the same game in it. What a fucked up game!!! Who’s playing this?! Anyway, I always heard that the less you knew about The Drama going in the better, so I won’t say any more about it, but I thought it was a very interesting and thought-provoking movie. I immediately texted my A24-obsessed friend, ready to discuss, and he said “How was it we are gonna watch soon.” Respectfully, with friendship, what good are you to me. What’s the point of being A24-obsessed. I’m just asking you to put your money where your mouth is. Or in this case, maybe, your mouth where your money is. Be better!

listening to . . . My older son told me if I loved Adam Schlesinger’s music so much in That Thing You Do!, Josie and the Pussycats, etc. why am I not listening to Fountains of Wayne? He has a point. So I’ve been listening to Fountains of Wayne’s first album, the one with “Sink to the Bottom” on it. It’s good! No surprise.

visit my website which my older son put together for me, did I ever tell you that?

follow me on Instagram, where I watch a lot of baseball content but, don’t worry, I don’t share most of it

buy In Every Possible Way, because I’m still very proud of this book

no part of this newsletter was written with AI because AI sucks no matter what the people making money off it want you to think