I Will Do All in my Power

When in our lives do we first learn about nurses? I remember hearing about them before seeing them, but then encountering a lot of them at the hospital when I went with my father (a heart surgeon) to help him work. The nurses helped him too. They helped in general. One of my jobs was to sit at the bedsides of children who’d flown from all over the world, often alone, to be operated on by my father. His idea was that I play with them and keep them company to help them heal and feel like kids even in the hospital. Often they were recovering and had to be protected from germs, including mine. Sometimes we didn’t speak the same language. But children are children and we worked it out. I still have a stuffed koala toy a boy sent me from Australia. I hope the fur isn’t real.

As I performed my task, feeling not a little bit exalted (I started at six), I wasn’t quite alone with the children. Nurses were in and out of the room, lifting the wrist of the patient with one hand and looking at their watch with the other, studying the IV bags, offering medications in enchantingly miniature paper cups, checking on warmth, light, hunger, with as much concern and interest as a mother, but also with an impartiality that I noticed but could not name, a sense that the nurse would do the same for anyone, and that she would never be upset by a patient’s moods (unlike a real mother.) They were above all patient. Competent. Reliable. Fair. Different than the teachers at school, who could rise to that standard but often didn’t. We all knew who the teachers liked best, but the nurses didn’t display their preferences as far as I could see. How did they do that? Where might I learn to be so consistent and calm?

Over the years I have had many experiences with nurses, nearly all good. I recently had a surgery and was under the care of many nurses, some women, some men now. Again I had the experience of feeling a variant of pure, unselfish, impersonal yet attentive love poured over me from beginning to end. I asked them if they were this kind to everybody and though I got a variety of subtle responses there was no clear answer. I settled on believing that they set out to be equally compassionate and expert with everyone at the beginning of their shifts. Beginner’s mind, every day, a beautiful resetting of hope and faith in humankind. I am still going over the glances and hand squeezes and small dignities they gave me, moments coming back after the obliteration of general anesthesia. These are happy memories within an episode of vulnerability.

Nurses do not take the Hippocratic oath. Instead sometimes, at their pinning ceremony, what is called the Florence Nightingale pledge might be read. It was composed in 1893 by Lystra E. Gretter and a Committee for the Farrand Training School for Nurses in Detroit.

I solemnly pledge myself before God and in the presence of this assembly, to pass my life in purity and to practice my profession faithfully. I will abstain from whatever is deleterious and mischievous, and will not take or knowingly administer any harmful drug. I will do all in my power to maintain and elevate the standard of my profession, and will hold in confidence all personal matters committed to my keeping and all family affairs coming to my knowledge in the practice of my calling. With loyalty will I endeavor to aid the physician in his work, and devote myself to the welfare of those committed to my care.

High-minded and descriptive of the standard of behavior I have experienced when among nurses. There is a selflessness to their work that is humbling. To lose one to a depraved, fearful, rageful, prejudicial murder hurts.

But we have this beautiful view of the people of Minneapolis, so brave, so right-minded. The images show how much we crave community. We want to work together to protect and enhance our neighborhoods. We want to live with all other people aof all kinds. We were too alone during the pandemic; it wasn’t natural. We want to share, to plan, to laugh, to resist. The John Wayne image of the lone gunman defending his turf is not sustainable or natural. Rugged individualism is a recipe for self-destruction. We belong together.

A modest proposal: nursing schools match the offers posted by ICE. Calling all patriots, enroll and learn to treat everyone with compassion. It’s a good job.