keebler elves & pilates

If you told me one year ago that I would be publishing an article about a reality TV show, I would’ve laughed in your face. But, I decided to write it simply because I thought it would be fun to write it - and I am really trying to lean more into what’s actually fun, lighthearted, and enjoyable to write. So, here we go.

I truly cannot tell you the last time I watched a reality TV show. Much less a dating reality show (ick, haha). However, the latest season of Love Is Blind features contestants exclusively from Ohio and much of it was filmed here in Columbus, so my husband and I decided to watch it for shits and giggles.

Turned out to be more like giggles and gasps at some of the more, er, shocking moments.

Several of these shocking moments involved a particularly audacious Mr. Chris Fusco, who is apparently giving folks around the country (and probably the world) quite a laugh. Not only the actual clips from the show, but now what’s become even more entertaining is the constant roasting of said Mr. Fusco. There are memes galore that make fun of him, particularly based on his height and looks.

For those of you who might be living under a rock, or are blissfully without social media, let me give you a very brief synopsis of what went down:

On the show, Chris gets engaged to a lovely woman named Jessica. The engagement seems to be going well (as they had gotten engaged sight unseen after dating behind a wall - in the dating “pods”), but once they did get engaged and got to see each other/go on vacation together to Mexico, they seemed to be very attracted to each other. Chris, almost nauseatingly so, went on and on about how beautiful and perfect and gorgeous Jessica was, and it was made abundantly clear that they were also having a sexual relationship.

Anyhow, fast forward to 2 days after returning from said trip to Mexico when they got to see each others’ places for the first time back in Columbus. The show also provided them an apartment to live in together until the wedding (for filming purposes), which was only two weeks away. Anyhow, there is a moment where Jess confronts Chris after he had essentially ghosted her for 48 hours (after telling her he needed a “13 hour break” to process and think), and starts saying, well, a whole lot of very cringey stuff.

Go to the end of episode 8 and then episode 9 if you want to see this shocking convo.

Out of all the cringey things he said, the thing he’s getting roasted for the most is that he apparently decided all of a sudden that he’s actually not attracted to her - and the way in which he decides to communicate this information is by telling her that he “normally dates women who do CrossFit and sh*t… women who do pilates every day.” Women who have a different type of body.

And, please keep in mind that if he truly found her unattractive he could’ve ended their engagement *way sooner* and chosen to not actually have sex with her and go ON and ON about how beautiful and perfect and attractive she was.

The internet is going wild because Jess is an (objectively) pretty, attractive woman and a successful internal medicine doctor who had previously, while they were dating in the pods, made it clear that she does not work out every day - nor was she really into intense physical challenges (while Chris went on and on about Ironmans, cold plunging, working out, etc). It didn’t seem to be an issue at first, so this is coming out of nowhere and he essentially just flat out says that he’s not really that attracted to her but he still wants to “have fun” with her - yuck.

Anyhow, she obviously ended things with him right then and there but then things just continued to get worse. At a group event, he went around telling people how bad the sex was with her because he just wasn’t attracted to her and then he proceeded to start hitting on another (engaged) woman and tried to convince her that her fiancé wouldn’t be dominant enough or financially successful enough for her and just a whole bunch of truly shocking words that came out of his mouth.

Needless to say, there is an abundance of social media content either completely destroying Chris or praising Jessica (as she handled it like a pro).

However - and this is the part that’s interesting to me - the commentary is not just about his actions/words. It’s quickly become about their appearance.

People who mean well and want to show support for Jessica/help make her feel better have started telling her how beautiful and hot and gorgeous she is and how ugly, disgusting, and gross Chris is.

I think that the thing that shocked the internet the most was that, objectively, Chris is quite short and not very attractive (he doesn’t even appear to be particularly ripped or anything, despite how much he talks about working out), while Jessica is quite attractive.

So yes - it does make his comments pretty wild about not being attracted to her and her not having the body type of the girls he “normally” goes for (apparently, ones who do pilates every day).

Now, there are memes going around just absolutely destroying Chris (honestly well deserved, in my opinion). But they’re not just praising Jess for her beauty and how she gracefully handled the situation, or how awful Chris’ behavior was, but specifically about his unattractiveness and shortness. People are comparing him to/calling him the Keebler Elf (I nearly spit out my food from laughing so hard when I saw this because the resemblance is quite uncanny), Elf on a Shelf, Dobby, Frodo Baggins, etc.

People are making slurs about him probably having a micro penis, being short, his rosacea/having horrible skin, not being very “ripped,” etc.

Now, I want to make it clear that the things he said and his behavior were quite shocking, so obviously there is something quite satisfying about seeing such a douchebag get so thoroughly dragged through the mud.

However, I can’t help but wonder where are all the comments saying, “how dare you comment on a man’s body like that!”

They’re shockingly, well, absent on this one.

Actually - what’s even more wild - is that in many cases, the body positivity advocates are actually the ones doing the body shaming.

They’re on their body positivity soapbox while calling him short, mocking his inflamed skin, and making micro-penis jokes.

“How dare someone who looks like the Keebler Elf criticize a woman’s body!”

The irony is almost too on-the-nose.

They believe they’re defending women and standing up for body positivity. They believe they’re modeling moral superiority.

But, it seems like they’re actually engaging in the exact behavior they claim is harmful.

If body shaming is wrong because it reinforces the idea that certain physical traits are inferior or humiliating… then that principle doesn’t magically evaporate when the target is someone you dislike.

You can’t say, “We don’t comment on bodies,” and then add a little asterisk: *unless he’s a douchebag.

Maybe body positivity isn’t actually about bodies.

Maybe it’s about who we feel like protecting.

Is body shaming tolerated when “they deserve it”?

I can’t help but think about all of the body shame police who stayed quite busy shutting down anyone who dared to comment something about Ariana Grande being scarily thin.

“How dare you comment on a woman’s body at ALL! No matter WHAT!”

Even when Ariana Grande was sleeping around with someone else’s husband, the body shame police were still on the job chastising anyone who dared to comment on her thinness.

So it’s okay to make fun of a man for his looks when he’s had bad behavior, but we can’t roast (or comment on in any way) when a woman has had bad behavior?

And what about now? What about other short men who have rosacea and perhaps even micropenises? How are these merciless roastings affecting truly decent and good men who might share some physical similarities to Chris?

When we make those traits the punchline, we aren’t just roasting him - we’re reinforcing which traits are inherently humiliating.

Now, I do want to acknowledge something: I’m totally aware that the body shaming/roasting isn’t just happening because he’s a bad person and therefore “deserves it.” It’s also happening because of the context. Because he is the one who made comments about her body. Because he positioned himself as the authority on what kind of women are attractive. Because he essentially implied she wasn’t “fit” enough and didn’t have the right physique for him.

So, yes - it feels especially ironic (and therefore funnier) to poke at his looks.

It’s essentially the internet saying, “sir… you are definitely NOT in a position to be critiquing anyone’s body.”

Okay, valid. And it absolutely makes the roasting more relevant to what actually happened (whereas with Ariana Grande, her thinness had nothing to do with her alleged affair - commenting on her body in that situation was completely unrelated, though some people still used her body as an outlet to hate on her because of her inappropriate behavior).

So no - it’s not a perfect apples-to-apples comparison. I get that. Yet, even if the mockery is contextually appropriate… it’s still mockery of physical traits.

It’s still reinforcing that being short is embarrassing. That having rosacea is humiliating. That a small penis is worthy of public ridicule.

Remember how fat shaming is an ABSOLUTE no no? Even commenting on someone’s thinness (even if meant as a compliment) can cause the body shaming police to come a running.

Some people will even go as far as to say that anyone who comments on someone being overweight is personally responsible for the mental health of the other person.

Well, what about micro penis shaming? Rosacea shaming? Height shaming? Physique shaming? Is that not also harmful?

Oh, right. We don’t care because it’s evil, misogynistic Chris!

Kidding (kind of, lol).

After noticing how enjoyable and entertaining it was for me to see him utterly destroyed like that - because I think we all have a Chris in our past, a true arrogant, narcissistic douchebag, and it is satisfying to see him be so swiftly knocked down - I started to notice how strange it was that most of the content on him is not just destroying him for his outrageous, insane words and actions, but his looks.

And that’s when I started to get really curious about when we as a collective not only allow, but openly praise, body shaming.

The inconsistency is a bit glaring.

Also - what if Jessica was not as objectively beautiful and Chris was not as objectively unattractive? What if he was tall, dark, chiseled and handsome with rugged good looks and she was more, well, unattractive? What if she was a larger woman?

Would he still have gotten roasted like this? Probably, yes.

But the content would’ve looked much different. It would’ve been focused on his shockingly inappropriate behavior and then lots of “body positivity” content. People would’ve made comments telling Jessica how she is beautiful just the way she is!

But the narrative would’ve been way less cutting and entertaining if they didn’t look the way they do.

People are also commenting not just on how hot and attractive Jess is, but that she’s a successful, accomplished woman. A doctor! That was actually her reason for not going to pilates every day - she said she was too busy working at the hospital every day saving lives. Mic drop, right?

And, fair point.

But, what if she wasn’t a doctor? Would his comment have been more justified? More acceptable if she happened to not be hot and successful?

I sure hope not.

Being treated a certain way - or having to deal with total douchebag behavior - should not depend on your looks or your accomplishments. Period.

Does this mean I’ll stop sending my husband and friends all of the funny Chris-roasting reels that I come across?

No, definitely not.