I’ve traveled over the holidays, like many, many people all over the world, to share in the bliss of family arguments only had in person. But seriously, my travel this year was quite good. I hope you found yourself and find yourself comforted by something this season, as it is generally known as the most depressing time of year for many. I have traveled extensively, not to brag about it or anything, but I do understand boarding and deplaning quite well. And travel in general. But this time around, I learned some things from some particular people, and I would like to share with you what NOT to do whence you may get a whiny call from your cousin or mom “can you pick me up from the airport?”
Definitely ignore location descriptions and go wherever the hell you want for pick up. You already drove to the airport!
Tell your family members/friends/loved ones in AS LOUD A VOICE AS POSSIBLE that they are not where they say they are.
Gaslight the everliving shit out of them.
Take a perusing look around and drive off into the night because you ‘couldn’t see them’
Take your socks off on the plane and place said desocked foot on the armrest ahead of you.
Yell about football (American or that shit played with your feet in every other country) in your airplane seat right behind a sleeping baby. You’re a big boy now, you’re allowed to yell about millionaires playing with a ball!
Get to the airport an hour before your flight, the day before Christmas.
So yeah, don’t do this shit. But laugh about it. And maybe help out the lady next to you use landscape mode for the first time, as I just couldn’t bear to see this poor, old woman watch an entire movie in portrait mode on her phone. It’s like an inch.
Hopefully you people who got gifts this season nabbed a book or two, especially of mine, yeah?… awkward silence begins, wait, you’re just reading this, it is silent. I received Metro 2033 and The Inhabited Island, both Russian SF I requested. I have just been so tired of American SF lately, it just seems kind of blah to me. Also partly why I like to write my own.
If you like this semi-satirical super short newsletter, I have a fully satirical extra-magnum satire in supermode SF called And the Cat’s Dead, Right?! You can find it here: The Cosmic Comedy Collection
As with most comedy, the reviews are shit since everyone has their own flavor of shit they like. Except Cunk on Earth and Cunk on Life, she is hilarious, go watch it.
Here’s Moo Deng just because I wanted you to see her.
I would like to give a yuuuuuge thank you to my pledged subscriber. THANK YOU! You made my dang week and I apologize it has taken so long to thank you, but I’ve been traveling and all that good stuff. When people like my stuff, I funny enough feel humbled. It’s a quiet sense of accomplishment and an understanding that maybe I do have something going for myself in the writing world. I suppose I will turn on the pledge money thingy soon if anyone else wants to donate to this mad scientist. And since we’re on the subject, I wanted to bring up something else. I had a conversation with a fellow author friend today and we discussed what success is to us personally and that is just you here, appreciating my words, thinking, saying, pledging, nodding that yeah, this guy can write some stuff and I like it. I think that is success. And no matter what, I am going to write and publish whatever I see fit, in the best way possible, about what happens in my head about the world around us. I can’t do the market stuff like I mentioned before, I just want to do my own goddamn best version of the book I want to read myself, and then share it with you. And if you love it, that my friends, is success.
Happy Reading, and I hope you all find some success and superb novels this year,
AJ Pagan IV
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