The Velveteen Rabbit and the Secret to Being Real

Over the weekend I was able to visit my brother and his family out in rural Virginia. A highlight of the trip was getting to spend time with my nieces (2 and 4) who are adorablemaxxers. We went out to lunch on Saturday. The four year old was getting a bit squirmy waiting for her pizza, so I decided to entertain her with … what else?… the AI on my phone. I was mildly shocked to learn that she already seemed to know what AI was and she was able to give me directions for games we could try. I must have missed that Bluey episode.

This little girl has a purple bunny that goes everywhere with her named Floppy. Over the years, poor Floppy has had each of her paws ripped off and sewn back on. Her ears are now held on partially with hair ties. A few months ago Floppy was left behind in Florida at the end of a road trip and the entire family had to turn around and drive an hour back to rescue her. This is an important bunny who has also seen some stuff.

Our game at the restaurant was to “make Floppy real” by taking her picture, and then having the AI create animated images of Floppy going about her day. Taking a bubble bath, going to bed, and — the four year old’s all time favorite— using the potty. The AI made Floppy look fluffy, clean and pristine but still captured some of the details, especially the hair ties. AI Floppy had little facial expressions and smiles, whereas real Floppy just has a thousand yard stare. My niece was engrossed. I happily obliged until I ran out of tokens and the pizza came.

Later that night before bed, her dad and I read her the story of The Velveteen Rabbit. This is an old children’s story — it first came out in 1922. It was one of my favorites as a kid. I picked up a beautiful hard bound edition of the book when I was in Oxford. The story follows a little stuffed bunny who longs to be real. (You can tell Pixar completely ripped it off for Toy Story.) In the book, the old, wise, and grizzled toy in the story is called the Skin Horse. One night the Skin Horse explains to the little bunny how you actually become real:

Real isn’t how you are made,’ said the Skin Horse. ‘It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.’

‘Does it hurt?’ asked the Rabbit.

‘Sometimes,’ said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. ‘When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.’

‘Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,’ he asked, ‘or bit by bit?’

‘It doesn’t happen all at once,’ said the Skin Horse. ‘You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.

(Cue my brother and I bawling while the four year old looks on, concerned.)

I won’t spoil the end of the story for you except to say it is a real gut punch involving scarlet fever, a magical fairy, and a lot more allegory.

I am only mildly alarmed that my little niece already knows what AI is. I am much more worried about what she might grow up not knowing in a world where AI is ubiquitous. Maybe she won’t know how to sit through a hundred year old storybook with words in it that she doesn’t know. Maybe she won’t understand that the most important things cannot be improved with software. Maybe she won’t understand that Floppy’s battle scars — and the wounds that we all incur in loving other people — are actually the surefire signs you are becoming real.

We have to find more ways to talk to even very young children about where their dignity comes from. These are ideas that they can grasp and that they need as they grow. Some of the most profound philosophical insights into what it means to be embodied come from very simple stories like this, which has survived for over a century because it has a message each generation needs to hear.

Speaking of profound insights, we are all expecting Pope Leo XIV’s first big encyclical — Magnificent Humanity— this coming Monday! I am planning my drop party with the same enthusiasm a Swiftie has for a new album release. It is a beautiful thing when the Church shares a new teaching, and I’m confident Pope Leo will give us some timely advice about how to become even more real.