Coming Back Home

Life feels REALLY strange right now. I think it started in 2020 for me. That’s when the rug was pulled out from under my feet. I don’t know what to believe anymore. I think perhaps the mass confusion and disconnect is intentional. Or maybe that’s just a story I have adopted from others. Maybe it’s always been the way it’s been, and I’ve just shifted my way of thinking.

I’ve even began to question my own sanity in it all. I wonder at times if I’m losing my mind because I’m questioning everything I’ve been taught up to now.

In addition to the world feeling strange, it also seems to be spinning faster and faster. I feel as though I’m on a merry go round and sometimes it’s spinning way too fast. But then I realize I can step off the merry go round. I don’t have to live in the chaos and the fear of this ride.

How do we make sense of a world that no longer makes sense?

By creating our own reality?

By following the spiritual path?

Disconnection? Connection?

I have more questions than answers.

That is until I read ancient texts.

That is until I walk the spiritual path.

That is until I root in my breath.

That is until I watch birds outside.

That is until I crack a joke with a friend.

That is until I sit in a pose and pay attention to how my body moves.

That is until I come to the mat and turn inward.

When I speak of coming to the mat, I do mean the literal mat, and I also mean the figurative mat. Others may call it coming to the altar. But what coming to the mat means to me is coming to a sacred space.

My mat was once just a mat where I practiced the physical postures of yoga. But through dedicated practice, my mat became a sacred place. My safe haven. The world outside rages. But when I come to the mat, I find stillness, peace, and sense of calmness. I rest in my body through a deep inhale and exhale. I place my hands in prayer position and say ‘thanks’ for this moment. Thanks for this human body I inhabit. Thank you that I can move with intention. Thank you that I can find peace in this moment.

Because all we have is this moment. In this moment, I can be at peace.

Anytime I come to the mat, I come back home.

My mat is my home.