Reading · Tuesday Mornings

!! this is a poem written by a Christian girl who struggles with lust for Christians who also struggle with lust - based on mental perception of lust, the feeling of the sin, the shame that comes in creeping, & the forgiveness that God offers us, sinners, with open arms. the Lord has given me a gift of writing, but writing & being creative with my words also help me process & accept His forgiveness for myself at times. I pray this poem blesses you & helps you feel seen where you’re at, whether this is a struggle of yours or not.
!! you can actually listen to my voiceover of this poem at the top of this newsletter :)

lust, the green-eyed monster hiding underneath my bed | Ansley Claire

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lust is the green-eyed monster hiding underneath my bed,
keeping me up scared at night.
lust is slammed in behind the closet door of thoughts that mess with my head;
an unwelcome houseguest who won't leave without a fight.
lust is sitting on my couch when the house is dead,
convincing me mingling with temptation is actually....not a bad idea, right?
the smell of flowers
&
pleasure
&
the hum of imagination
&
pleasure
&
the feeling of a breezy summer's day
&
pleasure
&
suddenly,
it's the click of the stage lights coming on,
the crickets of awkward silence,
& the feeling of being watched.
the record scratches.
lust is directing this play, & I'm on the stage
naked with my shame,
dread pooled in my belly,
& regret on my face.
the audience is booing, & I look up to see
every theater seat full with versions of me -
past versions of me who shook hands with lust at too early of an age
& have tried & tried & tried to escape
the same cruel gaze.
it all fades & I'm back on the couch,
but
it's just me now.
I wallow around. I do the dishes. I hear my name.
...I hear my name?
there's a stillness in my shame & a peace in my storm, I sigh & know it's my Lord.
my gentle Lord who turns my chin up, wipes my tears, calls me His, & wants me to look at Him to be restored,
to be set free.
lust is the green eyed monster hiding underneath my bed,
but my King is doing a new thing & there is now therefore no condemnation for me.
I, who goes to sleep with sweet dreams.

I believe that everyone should have access to encouragement from a sister in Christ, so Tuesday Mornings is, & will stay, a free publication. however, if you feel led to support my Kingdom work with a little treat:

buy me a coffee <3

I hope each of you has a very happy rest of the week! praying for you! peace! I hope to see you again soon. I love you so much & so does Jesus Christ!

tuesday mornings is like the weekly news, but the news of an ordinary girl who writes about what the extraordinary God of the universe has done in her life!

also, pretty please tell me your thoughts about this post, what you’re learning in your faith walk, or just whatever is on your mind - I pinky promise I want to know!

lust, the green-eyed monster hiding underneath my bed

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