Finding Esti: What the search for a missing Jewish girl revealed about the best (& worst) of our city

(500 words)
Today, Esti, an autistic 14 year old who was missing for 12 days, was found. The Toronto Police Services press conference was brief, emphasizing that she is physically ok and that no further information is being provided, due to ongoing investigation and Esti’s right to privacy.

Autistic context

I wrote previously about the complexity of autistic meltdowns and “elopement” (running away).

It is really good that the police are respecting Esti and her family’s privacy. After something like this, especially for an autistic person, peace and quiet is needed. It would be amazing if the hospital could do a Zoom call with the trauma experts from Israel who have so much knowledge about trauma within a Jewish cultural context.

I also really hope the hospital doesn’t follow the typical Canadian model of “cure by pill” for stress. The last thing an autistic person needs is to feel out of sorts from a host of psychiatric meds when they are trying to re-orient themselves after a trauma.

Search efforts, and a city in crisis

The search brought out the best and the worst of this city.

On the positive side, through the Police, Shomrim and Tafsik, many volunteers worked tirelessly to search throughout the city, to make residents aware to keep an eye out for Esti. It was Shomrim who secured a $25,000 reward, which might have played a role in finding her whereabouts, and certainly inspired some locals to be more aware of their surroundings (and their security footage). Her family expressed gratitude today that so many Torontonians searched for Esti as if she were their own family.

But sadly, the search experience also brought out some of the ugliness in our city, as some individuals tore down Missing posters and encouraged others to tear them down. (See my piece about it, here).

For example, an activist made outrageous claims about Shomrim, conflating these average-Joe, urban security guards with the KKK.

In reality, Shomrim Toronto is a basic security guard/support service, founded in May 2021 in response to a surge in antisemitic hate crimes and violence. They are law-abiding, well-trained and have excellent relationships with all communities, while helping our city be safe. (You can donate to them here.)

So…why would someone want to dismantle this essential service, or tear down posters for a missing girl? There is only one reason: hatred of Jews.

A million ideological excuses can be given, but at its base level, these folks do not want Jews to feel safe in our city.

Antisemitism is a social contagion, a form of mass-derangement based on lies and leveraged by opportunists to gain power and manipulate people. The focus on Israeli Jews (or Jews who support Israel existing) is one manifestation, but it expands to all Jews.

As history shows us, antisemitism is a key linchpin in anti-democratic political movements. Whether you are Jewish or not, antisemitism affects you.

Have a talk with your progressive friends

If you know someone who supports the persecution of Israelis and other immigrant Jews, you need to have a good talk with them now about choices. They can continue to move along in their brainwashed dream-state, persecuting Jews and pretending to be moral. Or they can pivot to a reality-based lifestyle, and have respect for their fellow Torontonians, and for the people of Israel.

It is often said that it’s “brave” to stand up to antisemitism, but in Canada it mostly just means dealing with mild rejection from some total losers. Being brave is not that difficult!

We are lucky to live in a democracy, a society that has explicitly rejected antisemitism and anti-Israel hate. We need to stand up for these Canadian values without fear, or they will vanish.

So make it a goal this weekend to tell one anzi friends to join reality. And don’t ever be sheepish about celebrating all diversity, including Israelis and Jews in Toronto. As the past 2 weeks have shown so clearly, the community is strong, united, and not going anywhere. Baruch Hashem.