how do you find meaning in life?

11am. blackout room.

the dark brings peace. it gives me this nostalgia of back in the day when i used to stay up nights.

chinese ambient music brings peace.

i don’t feel accomplished all i see is the bigger lens.

symbols and numbers are the only thing that matter.

my psyche developed in such a way that if i want something, I’ll go out there and get it.

if i absorb life and reality for a moment…

all i can see is people just searching for an escape.

the athlete just drowning in his sport to not feel anything.

the gym bro that’s multiple hours in the gym just searching for an escape from day to day life.

but as humans are, it goes way beneath staying conscious.

people using substances just to escape reality for a few hours.

and weirdly, I’m a part of this.

when i was younger, I swore to myself that I’d never touch any substances.

but as things go.

it first started with nicotine pouches. simply chasing that first nicotine shock.

or that first time being high from weed.

no matter what, you’ll do chasing that first experience will never stop.

and it literally works in every single aspect of life.

if you’ve ever experienced your first ever business payout, you’ll chase that feeling constantly.

or even in relationships, you’ll do everything in your power to experience this feeling you’ve had when you first met that person.

we as humans are weird.

we’ll try everything to relive that first experience, never realising that we’ll never actually relive it.

nobody chose any of this. your parents wired you before you had words. their parents did the same to them. you think you’re making decisions but you’re just executing code that was written before you were born.

they have no inner voice. they’re just running off code and the identity they didn’t even choose.

and it’s weird.

99% of society operates like this.

if we look at weed as an example.

it’s probably the most widely known and widely used drug.

but why so?

everyone seeks a specific state. a state where they do not have to focus on reality anymore.

where they can just shut off for a moment. forget about reality and just feel nothing for a moment.

it’s all about feelings.

if we look at it from a completely different lens. why do people go into huge amounts of debt?

they do not have the money. yet they want to feel accomplished in life.

which then leads to them taking huge amounts of debt.

never realising that they’ll never escape that cycle.

so if we sum up the question?

what’s actually the meaning of life?

thinking about it. i personally believe that the meaning of life is just finding something that allows you to not go crazy in a conscious state.

what do i mean by that?

seeing your dream life in your mind.

and doing everything necessary to achieve that life.

that’s my definition of finding purpose in life.

stay schemin.

escape, a85.

and by the way…

you’re probably already a hard-working and ambitious person.

otherwise you wouldn’t be reading this.

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and you’re looking to gain that edge around everybody.

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