First of all: hi, good morning, hope you’re doing well wherever you are. If you’re in New York City, one thing that’ll make your morning even better? Getting your tickets to see The LOX and ItsTheReal break down Mean Girls, LIVE. (The show is in two weeks!)
And to get you in the mood for it, today I’ll be pitting the two cultural juggernauts that made bubblegum pink pop in the early 2000s against one another:
Cameron “Killa Cam” Giles of Harlem and the Mean Girls of North Shore High School hailing from Evanston, Illinois. (Go Lions.)
WHO WEARS PINK ON WEDNESDAYS?
Lindsay Lohan’s a fish out of water in Mean Girls, a freckled and bookish immigrant from Kenya. She’s taken in by Damien and Janis, who aren’t just outcasts: classmates greet them with open hostility. Regina George and her band of popular girls approach Lohan to save her from what they see as social quicksand. But in order to join the cool clique, The Plastics, Lindsay must adapt to their ways. First rule? Wear pink on Wednesdays. The soft color only amplifies their power.
Now, obviously, no one has made pastels look harder than Cam’ron did on February 13, 2003, hopping out his Range for Baby Phat’s New York Fashion Week runway show. Dripped out in $5,000 in pink fur matched to his Motorola, an iconic moment was born — one that led to a personalized Pantone color, memes and shower curtains for sale (briefly).
So, it’s a real Cady’s choice, here. What tips it? The Baby Phat show was on a Thursday.
VERDICT: Mean Girls.
WHO GETS MEANER?
Regina said some snippy things. Cute stuff. Kid shit. But when the actor Omar Gooding started throwing shots at Cam over a perceived slight two years ago, Cam’ron flew Gooding out to audition for a fake film and then aired the footage, humiliating him in the process. No one out-pizzas The Hut and no one out-petties Killa. If there are lines not to be crossed, Cam has jumped over them and built hotels on the other side.
VERDICT: Cam’ron.
WHO GOES DUMBER?
Some didn’t get Cam’s ABC sing-song flow — I always loved it. But Cam always gave too-smart-for-school, and the past 10 years have really shown how savvy he can be beyond rapping as he’s expanded into different spheres. Movies, podcasts, dick pills, he’s doing it all and doing it successfully and independently. As he said during one of his Mase beefs in 2017 or so (I’m too lazy to look it up), “I'll use my brain so I will leave you brainless.”
And then there’s Karen, a double-D dolt who says things like, “It's like I have ESPN or something. My breasts can always tell when it's going to rain.”
VERDICT: Mean Girls.
WHO IS BETTER AT MATH?
In order to impress Aaron, Lindsay Lohan fakes being bad at math and quits the Mathletes. (She eventually learns she can be her genuine self and comes back to the team.) Cam, on the other hand, is so good at breaking down D-Boy math that, more than 25 years out of the game, he’s still rattling off ounces, kilos, prices and could probably tell you who got to Ohio first if his train left NYC’s Penn Station going 50mph and his connect’s left Detroit going 20mph.
VERDICT: Cam’ron.
END RESULT: 2-2.
Enjoy this? Send along to a friend and let them know what 2J3BD is doing.
Damn. No one likes a tie. But life is cruel…dare I say Mean. And I Mean it when I say you should get your tickets to 2J3BD LIVE on August 13th! Past live shows have included live segments of Is Jadakiss Italian?, Styles P’s Karate Man and Sheek’s stand-up segment of What’s Sheek Mad About? as well as Eric’s and Jeff’s AKA Battle.
Now before I go, here’s our updated calendar:
Watch the movies before the episodes come out, like a book club! Uptown Saturday Night and Eternal Sunshine are on YouTube (for free) and Mean Girls is on Pluto (for free). The Town is on HBO/Hulu, but you can also rent on Amazon. And make sure to catch up on our Pretty Woman episode if you haven’t yet:
As always, you can also find us on YouTube, Spotify, Apple, Instagram, TikTok and right here, for our weekly newsletter. Tune in for our Uptown Saturday Night episode Monday!
And until then, here’s the form to suggest movies!
A couple of Dark Knights, The Lost Boys, The Odyssey and a couple Se7ens really rung my bell. The thing that made me laugh hardest this week was the guy whose location is “Lame Ass Missouri.” Also, very bold of the guy from Philly who suggested Killa Season and said “We must begin to admit how bad hip hop movies are.” (Sorry, Cam, he said it, not me.) Uh…leave a comment? Shouts to everyone who loves the ‘Stack, the ‘Stack loves you back.
Now I’m headed to CostCo. Let me know what to add to my list!
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