Is fear keeping me from love? Feminist Advice (paid subscriber bonus)

All of my relationships have been abusive in one way or another, and I’ve come to accept that the common denominator is me. I need to choose better, and be more cautious. So I started reading your work, and the work of Jennie Young. It resonates deeply, and has helped me recognize some of the early patterns I once romanticized.

Now I’m wondering if I’ve swung too far in the other direction. Should I really be ditching a guy based on a single line in his profile, or a single mediocre date? Are we allowing ourselves to be totally ruled by fear? Am I sacrificing love for these rigid principles that maybe demand too much?

I really don’t want to be alone. Please help.