The success slowly killed him

Over the past 13 years, I’ve lost three men to suicide: an uncle, an ex-boyfriend, and the husband of my bonus mom. It’s still surreal that they couldn’t see a way out anymore. Especially since one of them was an entrepreneur who seemed to have it all.

A beautiful wife, three lovely kids, a big house with a fancy car in the driveway, plenty of money, and a thriving business that still exists today.

What you didn’t see was the enormous pressure underneath. Partly caused by his company, but mostly because he always set the bar incredibly high.

There was always more to do, more to prove, more to earn.

He lived in chronic stress and could barely sleep. It was hard for him to ask for help, so he did his best to fix everything on his own. He pushed through until he couldn’t anymore.

He finally found peace. But he’s been incredibly missed ever since.

It’s a strange phenomenon. You would think life gets easier when you earn more. But something strange happens as soon as you know how you can win.

You become aware of your potential. And because there’s so much possible, you will also notice what you haven’t achieved yet.

You get more opportunities. And because your skills evolve, you will also see what can be done faster, smarter, or better.

So you keep raising the bar. Not because someone tells you to, but because you know what you’re capable of and because you’re full of ambition and dreams.

Then life happens. Suddenly, your world is turned upside down because the market shifts, a key employee leaves, your body hits the brakes, a loved one dies, or a child is born. Or you simply wake up one day and realize you no longer enjoy it.

But it feels like there’s no way out.

Rationally, you know you have options. But it doesn’t feel that way. So you just keep going. You don’t want to let your team or clients down, you have no idea what else you would do, and your self-worth is secretly tied to your revenue.

And you can actually go pretty far on adrenaline and chronic stress. You can push through for a very long time. But chronic stress has a way of collecting its debt eventually.

If you feel you are reaching your limits, it’s time for a change.

You may worry about what people will think if you slow down or pivot. And you may cling to control because uncertainty is uncomfortable.

That’s not weird; you know what you have now and not what you get in return.

But remember that the skills that brought you here won’t disappear if you choose a different path.

The fear that everything will fall apart isn’t based on evidence. It’s based on a story you’ve been telling yourself.

Not if you’re struggling financially. But if you’re earning more than you ever dreamed, recognize that you have options.

You can take more time off and work less. You can let go of a few clients and lower your goals. You can step back from social media for a while. You can explore different business models.

None of that is failure. It’s just a different choice.

And yes, every choice has a consequence. But continuing like this is also risky.

If you lower your bar, temporarily or definitively, you can still live well. Maybe with a bit less luxury, income, or savings. It can feel like a step back. But sometimes one step back is exactly what creates the space to move forward again.

Enjoy your day,

Yvette

P.S. are you so overwhelmed that it’s hard to think clearly? Please share it with your loved ones and don’t suffer in silence.

If you don’t have someone to talk to, you can send me a private message or reply to this email. I will not sell you anything. I’m just offering my help because I’ve lost too many people who couldn’t handle the pressure anymore.