Hi guys :) piclogue ...
I started this blog to document and reflect on random moments from my life. Eventually to find that it was a poor medium for doing so. Though anonymous (to a certain degree), my page is public facing. No matter how much I tell myself to not care, I do care. I reword, reorganize, and cut out the "boring parts". It takes more energy than I would like and is too slow. So many times I've been working…
I woke up yesterday sick as hell. I don't even know how it got so bad, since I was completely fine the day before. It wasn't until almost noon did I muster the strength to slog to campus for breakfast. It's only a five-minute walk, but with the daze I was in, that didn't seem right at all. Like I usually do I got an overpriced smoothie at the place I frequent. It's actually a great way to spend…
Half motion-sick, I stumbled off the coach. To my left, a glittering flow of cars three lanes strong whooshes past. Looks like a lot of people still have somewhere to be tonight. Not me, though. Stepping back into my childhood home, it felt strange... to not to feel strange. I was only away for about two months before fall break started. But it was as though I hadn't spent any time away at all.…
Late at night, I laid awake, fixated on the ceiling of my dorm. Before going to bed I'd just seen a post of my high school crush with a friend, roommate, or whatever, at a concert. Just the two of them. This wasn't her first post of its kind. I think what I've really wanted all along was just one close friendship. To be someone's first choice and have them be mine. It's not as intimate as an…
I remember a conversation I had with my parents on approximately my 15th birthday. They asked me if I wanted to live on my own yet, to which I responded with an emphatic "no". They cautioned me to not be so confident in this answer. On the day of packing before college move in, their warning had already soundly proved itself. Like clockwork, from the day after that conversation, I butted heads…
There's a popular idea that cats don't see humans as we see ourselves. Rather, they see us as some kind of big and strange cat. One of many cat-related things I've learned recently is that my cats actually believe I'm out hunting whenever I leave the house. I was on a family trip to Iceland. We were concluding our travels and had an hour to wait at the bus terminal en route to the airport. That…
"What's your favorite color?" "None, I don't have one." I always get the impression that my father is a slightly odd person. So he doesn't have a favorite color. I asked him about that when I was very young and I thought his reply was the weirdest thing ever. I really don't know much about him. For example, whatever hobbies he has, he usually keeps to himself. A common type of conversation we've…
My summers have been getting quieter. The camps from when I was a little kid, the family outings, the high school extracurriculars--they're all gone. It's just me and my home now. This is my summer after graduating high school. It'll be the quietest summer I'll live, for a while. I wake up an hour or so before noon. A consequence of going to bed around 1 to 2 AM. There's something innate that…
I wish I could have been born earlier, in time to experience what I've come to see as the golden days of computer science: When it was an uncool, mathy field of scientific study. Today, the deeper I go, the more disillusioned I become with the public expectations surrounding this subject. Software engineering. What a name! An engineering job for something that can't be touched, walked upon, or…
When I leave for university this fall, I'll have a chance to reinvent myself. I've always thought about the day when I actually do so. What kind of person do I want to become? Actually, the fact alone that I've thought of this question so much feels strange. Is there something I don't like about myself? Maybe. I don't think I have any true friends. In high school I actually had tons of people to…