Confessions of an Officer's Wife

I must admit that we appear to have it together on the surface. We have been on a bit of a Navy bender.” My husband serves in the military and has done so for over twenty years. It’s been a career that takes spills over into your personal life. We’ve created families along the way and miss them dearly. It has been rewarding and heartbreaking all at once.

Through the twenty-ish years, we have taken full advantage of what the military has had to offer but possibly done so at the cost of our sanity and health. We ate poorly more than half the time and slept and exercised very little, which made us very irritable. Our moves, while as exciting as they were, distracted us from doing what was needed. We were lucky to be granted orders to Italy, Hawaii, and some desirable duty stations in the Continental United States (CONUS). But let me tell you, as lovely as it was and it sounds, you can lose your mind when you plan four overseas moves with three small children and a small pet. We have moved twelve times in twenty-two years (when this article was written). It’s not easy, folks, by no means. We made it look easy.

It takes considerable planning, paperwork, and perseverance to get it done. I can see now that we had the planning and paperwork under control. It didn't seem so at the time, though. I was walking on edge and in a daze. Eventually, the patience it takes to persevere with a task like that wears thin when little ones are literally screaming to have their basic needs met. Some days, it was mere survival. (Open a box of cereal and pour.)

However, our overwhelming desire to live the dream outweighed any notion of losing it in front of peers and those he commanded. I should say that pertained to me more than him. He’s a natural-born leader and better at keeping his cool. It’s infuriating! I would wait to lose my mind in the comfort of my home. At times, the little ones would watch their mother come unglued and stuff her face with junk food while he worked long hours and deployed. There are many shameful mom moments. I wish I could have done better. Today, I grant myself some mercy and forgive.

I’m finally feeling more like myself now that his Captain’s tour is behind us. We are getting our personal lives back on track, working on our health, spirit, and minds. It’s time to recharge and make the next twenty years solely our own.