Just about 12 hours ago, the Golden State Valkyries achieved a new high point in the 2026 season: defeating the Dallas Wings (Pazzi included), 91-80. It was such a glorious Ballhalla night that I found myself in press row taking an unusual amount of off-the-cuff game notes. I’m dubbing them (lol) as “raw” notes.
This style of “raw'“ note-taking draws direct inspiration from one-and-only Eric Apricot of Valkyrie Nation, who is one of my favorite writers in the Valkyries press room. His in-game notes are legendary, full of high-level basketball analysis, philosophical insight, and warm humor.
My version, below, borrows Eric Apricot’s format: arranged by time stamps, chronologically, according to the 40-minute basketball game clock. These include far less technical basketball genius (though still lots of basketball thoughts, promise!), plus a heavy dose of unwieldy metaphor, an injection of gay stuff, and a few iffy jokes. But that’s the glory of doing this raw. Huge shout-out to Eric for encouraging me to experiment - which is exactly the reason I started this site in the first place. Ok, thanks for coming to my TED talk. Here are the notes!
9:20: I have to believe that when Kiah Stokes blows the first layup, somewhere a baby smacks their sleeping parent in the face.
5:29: The problem of Jessica Shepherd is evolving quickly. Jessica Shepherd pulling a spin move over Kiah evokes UConn fans’ worst nightmare: the year 2019.
5:11: Gabby Williams drains a confident three over Paige Bueckers and I am writing a letter that begins: Dear Pazzi, welcome to Gabby Williams on offense in the Bay. She is a new woman! Speaking of, my friends just texted me these photos of an amazing fan in their section, shout-out to this person <3
4:24: The Valks are playing terribly. But I’m screaming (happily) when Laeticia Amihere suddenly checks-in; a nearby reporter looks like he’s just seen a ghost.
2:09: Tiffany Hayes is both a professional women’s basketball player and a professional at calling her own “and one.”
1:15: Ugh, bye LA. May you keep the light alive in your heart.
:52: Sug Sutton scores on a slicing drive then forces a turnover by Kaitlyn Chen. “Okay, Sug is not afraid of Kaitlyn,” I say out loud. “Who is Sug afraid of?” responds the journalist next to me, and unfortunately what slips out of my mouth is: “getting cut from rosters?” (tho I mean no harm, stop cutting Sug!)
At the end of the quarter, Dallas is up by 9 (uh oh): 26-17.
9:08: Tiffany Hayes hits a three because she’s a walking pride flag for being born in the 1980s.
8:08: Arike Ogunbowale drops a three ball like a daily bowel movement (sorry.) I swear she’s not that regular.
7:13: So Sug Sutton isn’t afraid of Kaitlyn Chen who isn’t afraid of Azzi Fudd or Arike Ogunbowale, which I know because she just blew by both of them for back-to-back layups!?
5:10: What’s cool about Gabby Williams is that she’s 2-3 from beyond the arc so far and just nailed one to get the Valks their first lead of the night. And what’s cool about Paige Bueckers is that she has an amazing personality but misses a middy right after, giving way to a gorgeous three by Kayla Thornton. Cue what’s cool about Jose Fernandez, which is that he stomps right onto the court like a kid pissed he slept through most of Christmas morning, and takes a timeout. The Valks are finally winning - what could happen now?!
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