Yes Menopause Can Kill Your Vibe

I learned something last year. Menopause often changes our energy vibration.

Stick with me. Don’t roll your eyes yet.

Your vibration is your energy frequency, the vibration you put out into the world. Every single person has different vibrations that represent who they are. They also reflect what you’ve gone through and are going through at the moment. Some people are high vibration—they often are compassionate, positive, grateful, mindful, and present. They emit joy, maintain hope, and radiate happiness.

People with low vibration are often annoyed by those with high vibration, who are often happy and have a positive outlook on life. They often play the blame game instead of taking accountability, get annoyed easily, constantly complain, and feel exhausted by everything.

So, what does this have to do with menopause? Low-vibration people are characterized by sluggish thinking, slow learning, “mental fog,” poor memory, and being stuck on problems and in creative blocks. Does this sound familiar to anyone going through menopause?

(This is where I’m raising my hand and I’m sure a few of you are too. I see you.)

This leads to decreased mood, frustration, and giving up on things you once loved, which kills your vibe even more.

Sound familiar to anyone out there???

I know it was this way for me. The last few years, I’ve felt like a different person. I hate that the brain fog took over, and I couldn’t recall things as quickly as I used to. My writing didn’t come as easily, and I didn’t feel like doing things I once loved because they felt harder, like cooking or even reading a book. It became increasingly difficult to control my negativity, and I found myself snapping at the people I cared about more often.

My vibe was low. Real low.

Peri- and menopause can also impact your physical health in a big way. You may be having headaches, fatigue, digestive issues, skin problems, sleep disturbances, low libido, and frequent illness. These all contribute to low vibration.

So how do we respond? Many of us isolate ourselves. We scroll more or watch the news incessantly so we feel like we are doing something. We do things as one-offs and then feel like failures because we quit. We admonish ourselves, and then take our feelings out on others.

Blarg. Menopause sucks.

Listen, I am not a health expert. I read a lot, try to listen to scientific experts, and talk to friends who are experiencing similar issues; but, here’s the thing: what you are going through is unique to you. What impacts your vibe and health may not impact mine, and vice versa.

There are so many things that impact our energy and vibe. You have to factor in past trauma, diet, health factors, family support, employment, hormones, genetics, psychological factors, and so much more.

I’ve been working on changing my vibe for a full year now, and I’m still a bit of a mess. I still wake up with anxiety some days, struggle with keeping a positive mindset, and often just want to isolate myself from others.

Instead, I just try to do the things to take care of myself so I can be there for those I love. That is my why. Hard stop.

I’m not an expert, but I have been making some strides. Here are five things that started changing things for me when my vibe was low:

1. Hormone Support: It took a long time, but I finally stabilized my hormones, which made me feel a lot better. This included finding a medical professional who engaged my health in a holistic way, using hormone replacement therapy (took a few tries to get the dosing right), focusing on a hormone-supportive diet (focused on consuming certain vitamins that supported my mood, consuming phytoestrogen foods each day (like soy, lentils, flaxseeds), lifting weights to boost hormones and mood, and reducing sugar, caffeine, and alcohol intake. Trust me, I still enjoy a cookie, a cocktail, and my morning coffee, but I've realized that every time I overindulge in these things, I feel miserable the next day, so I focus on moderation.

2. Daily walking. Walking is the gift that keeps on giving. Not only is it great for your physical health, but movement can also have the greatest impact on your mental health. When I felt like I was losing my mind a few times or if my anxiety was out of control, I tried to walk for 20 minutes without my phone or earbuds. Just me and nature hanging out, trying to solve my problems. My neighbors thought I was a little crazy because I was walking all the time, often between conference calls, late at night, or very early in the morning, but it is BY FAR the greatest tool to help your vibe. Commit to it. It’s not sexy, but it can have the greatest impact on your health and well-being.

3. Giving yourself margins. So many of us are just incredibly burnt out by the time we hit perimenopause. Like, ridiculously exhausted. After getting three kids off to college, buying my business, dealing with some health challenges, and moving to a new state (plus managing life and a few family issues), I barely recognized myself. Then I became frustrated because I couldn’t figure out what I wanted to do with the time I now had, so I filled it with stupid stuff, like household tasks and errands that gave me zero satisfaction.

   Midlife women in particular often struggle with determining what they want to do with their life during the empty nesting phase because they have spent the last two to three decades taking care of everyone else’s needs and merely surviving. It’s important to recognize that not knowing what you want doesn’t mean you’re falling apart or that there’s something wrong with you. It just means you haven’t had the space to properly think about yourself in any meaningful way.

   I gave myself some big margins and a ridiculous amount of grace to figure out what I wanted to do next with my life. That was nearly a full year ago, and the truth is, I still don’t really know. But that’s okay. I have found some passions that I enjoy and learned a few new skills, and I try to put myself out into the universe in a way that opens me up to new opportunities. I don’t fill my time with only mundane chores anymore, and I focus on filling out my schedule with some fun things first and work around that. This is all new for me, but having things to look forward to that I enjoy, whether it’s one dinner reservation a week, book club, Mahjongg, a lesson, or even my daily walk, changes my whole vibe.

4. Know thyself. This winter, I spent an inordinate amount of time preparing for the cold and gray. I bought a heated vest and new boots so I could continue going for my walks (As my Scandinavian friends say, there’s no bad weather, only bad clothing). I started using my SAD lamp earlier and more regularly. I booked a trip to somewhere a little warmer (this was an epic fail because it ended up snowing in Florida, but it was still fun.) I tried to have weekly calls with friends. I used vitamin supplements to try and keep my mood steady. And, I think it helped. The winter is so incredibly hard for me, but I didn’t want to succumb to it this year, so I tried to do something about it. If you know something is hard for you, address it. Don’t let it be the thing that throws you off your tracks.

5. Force yourself to do the hard things. Foggy brain and overwhelm caused me to stop reading physical books. Anxiety stopped me from trying new things. Feeling uneasy in my new body gave me some self-esteem issues where I didn’t want to put myself out there. Negativity because of world events and politics caused my frustration level to go off the charts. I constantly felt like my life was out of my control. I was out of control.

   So, I tried to focus on what I could control. I started forcing myself to read for 10 minutes in the morning and at night. Honestly, it sounds ridiculous, but sometimes I had to read the same three to four pages over a few times so I could focus on the story, but eventually, I could read again. It helped improve my focus and stabalize my mood. Now I can plow through books and sometimes even remember them, but I had to start small and I had to “practice.”

   There were days I didn’t want to walk, so I had to remember my why and where I was when I didn’t take care of myself. I wrote down the benefits and kept the paper by my bed so I could look at it in the morning. It’s what gets me out of bed and around the block a few times.

   
   I had to restart my gratitude list using an app called 3 Good Things. Each day, I put down three things I’m grateful for to remind myself that my brain may be telling me I’m a mess, but my life always has some beautiful in it. It is such a mindset changer.

   
   And I stopped beating myself up for feeling like a failure in midlife and started remembering how strong I am because of what I endured. My body and my mind may be tired, but they have not failed me yet!

It’s been a long, challenging road, but last week someone told me my whole “vibe” had changed recently. My energy was different. “I can hear it in your voice and laughter. You’re just up!”

And at the time, I didn’t get it. I still felt like a mess. I still felt tired. I still felt that I have no idea what direction my life is going.

But the truth was that menopause robbed me of a lot of things, but it didn’t mean I still couldn’t experience joy and contentment in my life. It didn’t mean I couldn’t keep living in a productive way. It didn’t mean I couldn’t emit a high vibration out to others.

Menopause took away my self-confidence because of the way it changed my body. It made me frustrated because of my brain fog and inability to focus. It changed my basic health, like my hormone levels and thyroid. It impacted my ability to get good sleep. It stole some of my creativity to write.

As I faced some challenges, I became easily irritated, felt more anxious, and was incessantly annoyed. I felt like I had zero control over my life, and bad things were just happening to me.

And I’ve had to fight incredibly hard to find myself again, to change my energy, to reset my vibration level.

This meant carving out time to learn how to eat and exercise in a more productive way for this stage of my life. It meant consulting with several medical professionals to identify and address my unique health issues. I needed to find new ways to cope with stress and set some new boundaries with people who were sucking the life out of me. I needed to talk about it with people who understood what I was going through at the moment.

And I had to try a lot of different things to change my vibe. Sometimes they came from the algorithm, sometimes they came from dear friends, and sometimes they came from deep inside of me, the person who knows me best.

I’m not here to sell you anything. I’m not pushing a supplement or cleanse or miracle drug.

I just wanted to say that if you feel like your vibe has changed, if you’re going through a challenging period that’s taking a toll on your health, emotional state, and overall vibe, I get it, and I’ve been there too.

You may not be able to change everything, but you can start working on changing your vibration.

Returning to or finding something you love doing is a great place to start. Finding the right medical professional who truly understands perimenopause and menopause is paramount. Discussing this experience with others who understand it, who empathize, and who can offer valuable tips can change your entire perspective. Educating yourself on what’s happening can empower you. Carving out time to care for yourself — even just five minutes a day — can make a significant difference. Setting some boundaries with low-vibration people can help you from feeding off their energy, and finding time to spend with high-vibration people can help change yours.

If this sounds hokey to you, I get it. I felt that way, too.

But if you feel as desperate as I did, if you don’t recognize yourself, and if you are tired of feeling negative, despondent, and exhausted by it all, working on your vibe won’t make it worse.

In spiritual and holistic communities, maintaining a high vibrational state is considered essential for maintaining physical health, emotional well-being, and mental clarity. Our daily habits, thoughts, food, and even the people we surround ourselves with influence this vibrational state.

Choose yours wisely.

We have control over the energy we put out and the energy we take in, even during our Menopause Era.

Don’t let it steal your vibe.

Love your people hard. Love yourself harder.

With you,

Whitney

P.S. Air quality is still not great in Michigan, so I spent a lot of times indoors. We watched the World Cup finals, but I also finished the Jennifer Garner miniseries, The Five-Star Weekend on Peacock. No, it wasn’t life changing, but I still really enjoyed it. Seeing four women in midlife dealing with the same problems I talked about above is refreshing. I am so glad women like Jennifer Garner, Viola Davis, Reese Witherspoon, Amanda Peet, and others are taking on midlife issues in the most beautiful and wonderful ways. We need to keep supporting these types of projects.

P.P.S. I just started The Calamity Club. Eager to see if it warrants all the hype. It is from the same author who wrote The Help, so I’m sure it will be.

P.P.P.S. As I was proofing my this post, I was reminded of a Maya Angelou quote but I couldn’t remember it exactly, so I looked it up. I thought it was a great reminder to end on. “If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.” — Maya Angelou