Gender Inequality - Part 2

Let me just start this conversation with the disclaimer that I hadn’t intended on last week’s post to be a part 1.

Last week, after I had written the article on my experience with Mary Magdalena and the theme of healing wounds that occur between females, I was reminded that I did address a bit about healing the gender wound in my book, NO STRINGS ATTACHED.

check that book out here

I wrote this book over the course of two years, when Jesus came to me and asked me to write another book with him.

I was not amused, and initially, not that interested.

This book does not focus exclusively on healing gender wounds. It ends up being one chapter in a book that delves into the faulty programming many of us are subject to related to our experience with Christianity and a flawed understanding of the person of Jesus.

Here is a little excerpt:

Much of the context of the importance of the male in Biblical history seems to be reflected in the idea that God was male, and created ‘man’ in his image. Adam came first, and Eve only showed up later, in order to procreate and give Adam some company. However, as we have noted, she did have a mind of her own. I find it interesting that Eve has been blamed for the fall of mankind, while Adam’s only sin was that he apparently fell victim to her deviant ways.

I have to credit the Catholic Church a little, because they did at least include Mother Mary in their religion, and even build churches in honor of her, but she remained subservient to the male dominant indoctrination. The thought of gender equality was completely absent in my Evangelical Christian upbringing. I can’t comment specifically on how this discrepancy played out in other sects of Christianity, or even other belief systems, but in mine, I witnessed it both in the words written in the Bible and in the church.

When I was a little girl, this gnawing, but unacknowledged sense that I had an important spiritual mission of some kind both tormented me and compelled me to aggressively and passionately seek spiritual wisdom within the frameworks of my faith.

But I was female.

As far as I could tell from what I witnessed from the female role models in my church, and even my own mother, the only thing I could aspire to was to marry a man who had a calling, teach Sunday School or play the piano. I miserably failed to master the piano, and, after five years of lessons, my teacher suggested I try something else.

Sunday School did not appeal to me, mostly because I was not that good with kids, which in itself was a travesty.

My first marriage was a complete disaster, although I did not address the flaws in the relationship for many years, but instead, enabled bad behavior and hid the dysfunction as best I could, to my own detriment.

The possibility of contributing in any other way was not an option, at least peering through the eyes of an extremely shy and submissive child and young woman.

The one exception to the rule was one promising young woman in the church who felt a calling to be a missionary, and she seemed to enjoy a more prominent role in the church. She did a stint in another country, but soon returned and found her calling as a youth minister.

The most important role for a woman was to give birth and raise children. As I mentioned, this was not my strongest attribute, nor did I desire it to become my only purpose in life.

When I married, I did so at the behest of our church pastor. His policy was to marry them off young, lest they be tempted to engage in sexual activity outside of the ‘sanctity’ of marriage. I was barely twenty years old. I was taught and came to believe that as long as my husband’s needs were taken care of, my needs did not really matter.

I wanted to share this excerpt here to give you a little background into some of my own gender wounds.

Last week I spoke a bit about how we as females should feel safe around other females. The odds have been stacked against us for centuries. Our power has been hidden and exploited. We have been made to feel guilt and shame just because we are female. We have been programmed to believe we are the ‘weaker sex.’

Unfortunately, we do not always feel safe. Our struggles with feeling safe, whether physically, emotionally, mentally, or spiritually may be wrapped around either sex, depending on our own personal story.

Today I want to talk about how to heal from the wounds related to our gender.

This does not occur specifically to women who have been wounded by faulty beliefs propogated by religion, but it seems to be prevalent in that arena.

No. It has been programmed into our DNA through generations of abuse, neglect, shame and misinformation.

As I said last week, when we as females remember our own power, this will be a healing catalyst for every human, no matter what their gender or gender identity.

For you fellas, this content is valuable to you as well.

You have been programmed to have certain beliefs about gender that you are being called to release and heal.

It is only when we see one another as equal partners that we will truly thrive in life.

I am not saying that males and females are equal in every way. We each have our own strengths and weaknesses. My strengths are very different from my husband’s.

If I need to reach an item on a tall shelf, I am not one of those women who push away a tall man because I am equal to him and don’t require his assistance. In the same token, my tall husband has many other natural qualities which I have to work on. He is an excellent cook. I am an ‘okay’ cook. He is naturally better with children than I am. When my oldest grandson was being potty trained, he would push me out of the bathroom where I sat crying on the floor.

He is probably just as psychic as I am, but in a more logical way. I have a tendency to always believe a feather falling from the sky is a sign, and he will look up to see if a bird has flown by. When I get sick, I am doing self-inventory to see what has gotten out of balance in my emotional life, and he reminds me that sometimes you just get sick. I tend to see people’s soul, which sometimes makes me blind to their character flaws. He will tell me who to watch out for and who is safe. And he is rarely wrong.

If a kitten decides to make our car its home, he will have much more compassion and patience than I do in making sure that kitten feels safe while providing an exit plan.

So no. We are not equal in every way. But we are compatible. Most of the time.

This has not always been the case in every relationship I have had with men. It was my husband’s suggestion that revealed to me that it was not okay for the male coworkers to grope me. It was not my job to fix his coffee every morning. And he was perfectly capable of taking care of himself when I was not around.

This took him some time reprogramming me. He had to remind me to sit in the car so he could walk around and open the door for me. He still sometimes has to remind me not to walk behind him through the store.

When he asked me to marry him (by email, because we were broken up and I was not answering his calls - another story for another time), he acknowledged that I was probably not going to change my last name and that I shouldn’t need to feel like I had to.

A lot of the itty bitty things we mindlessly do in life point to gender inequality.

And then there are the big things.

I mentioned last week that Mary Magdalena spoke of how we as females hold power in our bodies, and much of the exploitation of women has to do with the quest for power. The Bible states that a woman’s body belongs to a man. Clearly this was either a mistranslation or whoever wrote it was conditioned by his culture to believe in the subservience of women. The writer (supposed to be Paul) went on to encourage men to treat their wives with respect as they would their own bodies, but he did fall short of saying that a man’s body belonged to his wife.

Today we also have the issue of gender identity and sexual preferences. I believe this has always existed. Today it is just more public and out in the broad daylight than in the past. I see this as a good thing. I suggest that when we all just see each other as fellow humans, and live our lives in a way that feels good to us, then we will expand into the equality and peace we all should enjoy.

For those of you who identify as a gender other than the body you acquired at birth, or for those of you who don’t necessarily identify as one or the other, you may often feel misunderstood and judged. Although I am not expanding on all of the wounds you have suffered as a result of how society, religion and culture has viewed your identity, it is important to acknowledge that we as humans have a tendency to judge what we don’t understand.

In other realms of existence, there is no gender. We have chosen as humans to navigate our experience with consciousness in this way, and so there are going to be a variety of issues for us to navigate.

Love is the only rule. Love all. No exceptions.

Loving does not mean tolerating bad behavior. Love does not mean putting yourself last all the time, although sometimes the needs of others need to be taken into consideration depending on the circumstance.

These issues may be something you are working on right now, or perhaps I have turned a light on regarding your role in a relationship.

The previous excerpt in my book, NO STRINGS ATTACHED, was a short clip from a longer conversation around the role of gender inequality in spiritual beliefs, but I did want to share a couple of prayers I offered in the book to assist you in healing any wounds in your soul related to gender.

In this book, I specifically focused on wounds of the soul which seem to originate from the practice of religion, but these prayers will work despite where your particular wounds originate from.

There are two prayers here. One is for those of you who have been exploited, abused, or marginalized in regards to your sex, sexual identity or preferences, and the other one is for those who have perpetrated these flawed beliefs, and are beginning to recognize their own role in creating these wounds.

Here is a prayer to help you to heal any wounds you have experienced due to the inequality of gender acceptance and treatment in your religious experiences or otherwise.

“In the name of the Light, I acknowledge the wound of gender inequality, sexual prejudice and judgements regarding gender or sexual preferences in this lifetime, in other lifetimes, and in the experience of my ancestors and those souls who incarnated and experienced a core wound regarding sex or gender throughout time, space and eternity. I hereby release the misunderstanding of the Sacred Feminine or any misuse of gender roles which wounded me or those who identify in ways that are other than the gender of their birth. I release any wounds of sexual, emotional, mental, physical or spiritually-related misconduct or faulty programming. I release any shame related to my gender or experiences related to my understanding of my gender or sexual preferences. I release these wounds from wherever they have lodged in the cells of my physical body or in my cell memories. I declare I am free. And so it is.”

If you have been the perpetrator, rather than the victim of gender or sexual preferences, due to your religious programming or otherwise, you have a wound too! If you are reading this, and you have perpetrated any wounds towards others for their sex, sexual preferences or identities, if you are feeling remorse for the way you have behaved, you can also heal, and you deserve to do so! Here is a prayer for you:

“In the name of the Light, I hereby renounce and repent of my actions taken towards others due to their sex, sexual preference, or sexual identity. I acknowledge that it was due to my religious or cultural programming that I behaved the way I did, and I forgive myself for my beliefs and behavior. I release shame, regret, remorse, and guilt for my behavior. I determine that I will make amends to the best of my ability with those who I have wounded. I release myself and any energy cords related to my regrettable beliefs or behavior from those who I have wounded, and ask that those wounds be healed. I declare that those who I have wounded are free, and I am free. And so it is.”

You may wonder if you can say a simple prayer and suddenly be healed. I say, maybe, maybe not. But why not? I believe that healing can be instantaneous and miraculous. It depends on whether you are being served in continuing to suffer. If you can release the version of yourself that is wounded, then why not be free?

It is the belief in lack that limits our ability to heal.

If we believe we lack the ability to heal or shift a long-standing wound, then our beliefs will extend the time it takes to recover from these wounds or change our thoughts and emotions in regards to a wound. If we believe we are going to need years of therapy or some other event to happen to ensure our healing, then that will be true.

When we awake to the idea that healing can be instantaneous and we can thrive despite whatever struggles we have endured, then that will be true.

A few days ago the Guides told one of my clients that they key to manifesting was to forget the need for it. When we see ourselves as whole and complete, and forget that we are lacking anything, then the things we want will show up on their own.

I shared with her the story of my divorce from my first husband.

When I left him, I left with almost nothing. I had a mattress on the floor. I had two chairs. I took one plate, one set of silverware, one cup, and a few of my clothes. Everything else he destroyed.

I remember jumping up and down on that mattress on the floor, the happiest I had ever felt in my life. In that moment, I had everything I ever wanted. I had freedom. I knew inside of myself that one day I would have everything else back. And then I forgot about that thought.

Years later, my second husband and I purchased a treadmill and were setting it up. I remembered that a treadmill was one of the last things I had surrendered when my daughter had asked to come stay with me in my tiny little apartment. I had gladly let it go so there would be room for her.

I realized that anything I had given up for my freedom, I now had back, and more.

I had not done any manifestation rituals to get back what I lost.

I had gladly released any and all possessions for my freedom.

If you desire healing or freedom from limiting circumstances, you can be healed. The number one key to freedom is belief that it is possible and forgetting that you lack anything.

You really don’t lack anything anyway.

Remember that my writings here on Substack are reader-supported and when you acknowledge your support in any way, this motivates me to continue. I will admit I am not sure I could stop if I am being prompted by Spirit to share, but I admit sometimes I think about it.

This year has been hard. Not just for me. We are all being called to heal. In order to heal we have to acknowledge we have been wounded. We have to admit that our cultural, religious, and social programming has been lacking in many ways. We have to reinvent ourselves to some degree, because our identity is often wrapped around our wounds. This is not an easy endeavor, but it is worth the effort!

If you want a private session to address how these issues have wounded you and work on releasing them and healing, the link below will take you to my appointment page. You can also check out all of the other woo woo I am involved in, and check out my other books.

check out my website

Let us move forward in these days of consciousness expansion and focus on healing, on loving, and on letting go of the past. We can do it!