the
b u t t e r f l y
"tell me how holy enters a tormentedgirl who always kept wishing for light,
to f o r g e t
h e r"
"...tell me please?"
"p l e a s e ..."
the b u t t e r f l y answered,
"light does cast shadow just as in return,
a remnant of a h a l o can be found
even in a h e a r t
moments from
s u r r e n d e r.
the key is not trying to force either but being willing to hold both."
a butterfly's wings create a hurricane,
while that same hurricane d e s t r o y s the homes of other b u t t e r f l i e s.
b o t h happen.
n e i t h e r is wrong.
the b u t t e r f l y pauses–
...
though i create stillness and ruin am i any less worthy of the promises the light hopes to gift me the chance to e n j o y.
to s a v o u r.
"i... guess not," i say reluctantly.
"okay then..."
and like sugar melting onto the lips of Aphrodite the butterfly became a flowercrown i never thought i would b e l i e v e
i was e n o u g h
to behold.
r o y a l
ThE TOWER
"hell loves me,"
"hell loves me not."
"hell loves me,"
"i wish it didn't."
"hell loves me,"
"i wish I didn't need it to."
in the ghosts of me,
i b u r n .
since i was a child i only remembered the scorching light being the child of an emotional nuclear warhead that would rather detonate by her daughter's own soul rather than–
sometimes,
i
wond
e r
why it was too fucking hard to love me safely when now,
as i am remembering
the s a n c t u a r y ♡
of me was never too much.
and though the feelings of me–
i turn into a fire.
into a
e
n
o
r
h
t
the Death Card
luck, had nothing to do with It!!!
i became d i v i n e
all on my own.
don't sully my a s c e n s i o n,
with the h e r e s of y o u r–
"i alone am my h o n o u r e d one."
in my own name
m o u r n i n g ☆ s t a r
e v e r ♡ g a r d e n
...
... and to the tower of me i showed up riding war,
wearing a mask of bone and starfeathers steeped in an elk's blood.
f o r e v e r will write me into
every dream i stay for.
as above,
so below.
Seven of Pentacles
and through the promise of seven roots reminding one another how light longs to breathe into the spaces we,
i...
keep that are still desperate to taste a sunray one more time.
as i r e m e m b e r,
so i b l o o m.
if these words
have ever found you
when you needed them,
stay awhile.
there are more
growing here.
I grew older.
some parts of me
didn't.
they stayed
in old rooms,
still wondering
what they had done
to deserve what happened.
healing became
returning for them
without asking them
to explain their pain.
if you're carrying
a younger heart too...
there is room for both of you here
sometimes I return
to old versions of myself
and feel like a ghost
walking through
someone else's life.
I remember her.
I love her.
but I no longer
have to become her
to prove she existed.
if you're learning
to honor your past
without living inside it...
walk forward with me.
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