Crocodile Tears

They were trying to make a famous man cry. They were doing this by clapping. The famous man made films. They hadn’t been clapped for in a long time, and sadly, had even spent several years being booed. Every person in the crowd had seen a clip of the famous man crying while receiving an award, and they wanted to see if they were able to summon a crowd out of their individualities, and prove that this new crowd was just as good as the crowd in the clip.

As they clapped, they watched the famous man realize his situation. He knew they were not clapping in recognition of his hard work. He rolled his eyes and raised his hands to try and calm the crowd, but the crowd felt their power and began to cheer, whistle and stamp their feet. They enjoyed his humility. The famous man found it difficult to control himself, and to his shame, his eyes began to water. He hid his face in his palm, and the crowd cheered and cheered and cheered. They could make him do anything.

He cried and cried, and they even forced him to say thank you.

Now that several months have passed, and we have seen the famous man crying many times over, it is now in vogue to replay footage from the event, and claim that he wasn’t really crying, and worse, that he didn’t really work very hard. But in hindsight, it is hard to recapture what the famous man did in his film. He found something which is rarely clapped for or cried over and brought it before the crowd. The crowd recognized what couldn’t be cried over or clapped for, and might have responded in disgust, if not for the man’s hard work, towards which they could divert their discomfort into aggressive and vengeful praise.

If the famous man had also been a great man, he could have continued crying for many years. He might have been able to continue discovering the un-clapped for and the un-cried over, displaying a bottomless reservoir of sympathy, whose taps and valves were contained inside his body. The crowd, sensing that the tears might never end, would have followed him anywhere, testing him with further displays of overwhelming praise. Like Moses, he could have dragged his people into the desert. He could have forced them to walk in circles for decades. If he grew tired of his tears, he could strike a rock with his staff, split the rock, and force the rock to cry in his place.

Or, alternatively, the famous man could have refused to cry. Refused, even to acknowledge the crowd. He could have dodged the applause.

‘Where is all of our praise going?’ The crowd would think. They would look around the corners of the great hall they were seated in. The praise wasn’t there. They would look into the orchestra pit and under their chairs, but the praise wouldn’t be there either. The famous man could have led the crowd on an expedition to discover the limit and source of their applause.

At the Battle of Jericho, Joshua circled the great walled city followed by a cheering crowd. Around and around they went, day after day, cheering and shouting, and on the seventh day, with one great round of applause, they broke down the walls of the city. Of course, once they were inside, they used swords, spears and arrows to kill all of its occupants. There are dangers for those outside the crowd, because the crowd only cries for itself, and only claps for itself, and even when it appears to be cheering for someone else, the crowd is really enthusing over its own praise of that person.

Recently, a photograph has emerged of the famous man sitting pensively in his new house. Flash clothes and designer furniture, a new car, a swimming pool, a glamourous girlfriend, none of it appears to have made him happy. Is the man still thinking of the un-clapped for and the un-cried over? Does he feel like he might have abandoned them? But then, what else could he have done?

The crowd pushed the famous man back and forward like a domesticated cat that plays with a mouse, but doesn’t know how to kill. We are still waiting for the cat to lose its breeding, or for the sly mouse which can saddle that cat and ride it into battle. Both Exodus, and the invasion of Jericho will have to wait until next awards season.