Best, better, best
If you could relive one day from your past, which day would it be and why? The day Burt and I went on our 2nd date. A day that led us to the many years we had together.
this is our life
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Back to the “from before”
Here’s the story of the picture [L] with the Blues Brothers vibe; I’ve shared this at length with A. who was curious about this photo in my pictorial. It’s a memory from the 2nd year that Burt and I were together. We were invited to party for Judith E’s birthday–who was married to Jim M, Continue reading "Back to the “from before”"
Stay calm
My role as a caregiver to a person with [Lewy Body] dementia demands I get acquainted with psychosis. A calm and contained demeanor is preferred to one in which I freak out. In a tour of an exhibit in which art and psychiatry crossed paths, it became clear to me that the psychotic makes me Continue reading "Stay calm"
Writing group
Focus on yourself. Your loved one will never get short shrift under your watch. The gaze of self-care is usually a bit myopic. Chances are that you will draw the shorter end of the stick as you walk the journey with your person. You will learn to advocate. You will be aware of signs and Continue reading "Writing group"
Burt’s on top of it
From August 2024 The “job search” seems to have ended in a mystery job. Mystery to me, at least, but it is vague to Burt as well. He wants me to get him business cards (albeit they’re round, as he describes them). He assigns numbers to his staff, and I am #1 tomorrow, then #2 Continue reading "Burt’s on top of it"
Pictured
There was a box I had labeled pictures. It was an activity box I had put together for Burt. Actually a box of memory for us to look at what life had been like, recently, and in our past. I opened it yesterday and left the albums out for me to peruse. There we were Continue reading "Pictured"
Curiouser
What are you curious about? You, you have caught my attentionAnd piqued my curiosity. What is itYou do? Why are you going so fast? Is there a race in your mind to whichI remain uninvited? Where is it you go?Are you in a hurry? Silly question. You are. Speed slowed automobileDevelopment. It was a distraction. Continue reading "Curiouser"
The last months
This morning, I was rereading posts from the days and months before Burt died. It’s pretty clear that I had been aware since November, around his birthday, of how much he had begun to decline. This was unlike the dips we’d gone through before. There were hopeful posts expecting further help for Burt’s care, starting Continue reading "The last months"
We are humble: patience
This is not a brag Caregiving carries with it a grand responsibility. Rather than make us grandiose, it humbles us. One of my caregiver friends is as thrilled by the purple umbrella she gifted herself as a diva is by pearls, champagne and fancy chocolates. No diva, but a queen of caring. My own experience Continue reading "We are humble: patience"
Love-and-marriage.2
We’ve talked about love during caregiving, but I have not been forthright about sex. We don’t talk about that in polite society as my mother would assert. Let’s be honest, LBD destroys intimacy. A visiting carer who came by to see Burt was not circumspect. She suggested I should connect with someone in circumstances like Continue reading "Love-and-marriage.2"
Good fortune
What’s a chapter of your life you’d title “The Hard Years” — and what got you through it? The obvious answer would be the journey I took with Burt once he was diagnosed with Lewy Body. The journey, as it turns out, had so many positives. It brought out a side of me I hadn’t Continue reading "Good fortune"