Cadbury Debuts Chocolate Creme Shank Bone for Passover
Concept of Pop Culture Completely Lost on Dog Named Han Yolo
Documentary Posits Wild West Cowboys May Have Been More Rooting and Tooting Than Once Thought
Op-Ed: “Remember Fatboy Slim? I Do” By Fatboy Slim
Bored, Aimless God Makes Another Kind of Owl
History Textbook Has Photo of Gerald Ford on Cover
High Speed Train Planned Between Tulsa, Literally Anywhere Else
Chess Prodigy Apparently Also Smug Little Shit Prodigy
Gogurt Brand Unveils Staygurt (Photo of regular yogurt)
Op-Ed: “Wait, Am I Alden Ehrenreich or Armie Hammer?” By Ansel Elgort
Area Man Saves Shoebox In Case of Diorama Emergency
Nation’s Dermatologists Unveil New Line of Creams, Goos
Movie Looking Like It Going To End Ambiguously
Magician The Kind That Wears Mask
Climate Scientists Discover Global Thermostat in Wisconsin Man’s Apartment
“Criminy” Trepidatiously Slipped Into Conversation
Math Section of Area Man’s Brain Desperately Clinging to Prog Rock Section For Survival
IHOP Social Media Manager Rushed To Hospital After Reckless Branding Stunt
Monday Night Football Renewed After Daring 98th Season
1980s Flashback Actually Flashback to 1980s Theme Party in 2009
Screaming Goat and Fainting Goat Somehow Make Relationship Work
Single Brazil Nut Dominates Bag of Trail Mix
Google CEO Panics After Forgetting to Renew Domain Name
Freelancer Deciding Between Kickstarter, GoFundMe Insurance Plans
Karaoke Place Has Song From Movie Where Kid Died (photo of “My Girl” in karaoke song book)
Finished Puzzle Just Lives On Table Now, Nation Guesses
Gumby Apparently Still A Thing
Real-Life “Spider-Man” Lives with Aunt
Eight Spiders Swallowed in Sleep Last Year Controlling Area Man Like Megazord
Tortoise Ginormous
Fifth-Grader Getting Pretty Good at Recursive (photo of a kid drawing a picture of a kid drawing a picture of a kid drawing a picture, etc.)
Op-Ed: “The Delights in this Garden are Positively Earthly” by the Beaked Demon in a Hieronymus Bosch Painting
Green Sauce Somehow Spicier Than Red Sauce
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