Happy New Year to all new and old subscribers.
I’ve crossed two seasons of time since last writing, which means I’m a little overdue for another piece. Don’t get me wrong, it’s been a restful hibernation focusing on some personal work that’s making it’s way out into the world this spring.
Instead of dwelling on what hasn’t happened I’m going to keep going and celebrate the bits that have: writings for my daughter’s birthdays - Ren and Ruru - now 5 and 3.
In writing these I often try to describe the feeling I hold as a father and witness to their childhood. It’s about capturing the omnipresent feeling of this time and all the learnings that are wrapped up in it, and the indelible qualities of their personalities. Then too it’s the flowing nature of how I relate to it all.
Stacking experiences on a perspective of joy creates expansion and possibility. The felt experience of this is momentum that I need to keep going and do my best. In the end it’s all strangely beautiful and simple when you focus and make space between to notice.
Now that I’m at the tail-end of our birthday season and feeling a refreshed perspective for the new year, I wish you all the same.
C
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Five points on a star
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Five fingers on each hand
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Five years since we released you
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into the world
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How special it is to feel significant
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in the brightness of your eyes
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a season of endless light
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Bold, Radiant& True
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Who knew you were the beginning
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Of a tragic awakening
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A whiplash of reality
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In a world numbing itself
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As time drips by
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And soft hazy clouds hold our memories
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I long for the grassy hillside
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Where I can lay forever as my memories take shape
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Up there in the blue
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You are in everything
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Beyond the blanket of your starry eyes
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A landscape open and free
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My favorite thing about this time
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Is the availability of a new perspective
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I wept the day we met
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As I noticed the slowing of time
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Behind frozen tears
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Now there’s a season in every hour
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And every moment a waking dream
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Wondering with new hair, what if?
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Orbiting shadows
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Polishing ego
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By the grace of a sweeter world
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Maybe it’s that longing gaze of yours
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tenderly flowing
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Like the summer sun
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Rain of mind
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Or maybe it’s your spirit
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That tells it’s been here before
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Maybe that’s how I feel so young
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When every day could be another day
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Maybe it’s because you’re that old
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And you’ve held it all before
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Like the Earth
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and her stream of all beginnings
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Oh how your curls dance in the light
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Animated and alive
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Found behind closed eyes
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And those crystalline tears
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Renewed
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Nothing is sacred
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And I try not to hold on too tightly
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Between the heavens and earth
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Celebrating the moments passed and passing
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This experience of you is everything
I used to be hard on myself. I used to get down when I couldn’t deliver in August on a promise I made in January. But I realized this year that the only thing that matters in the end is that we keep coming back, and that we find ways to fall back in love with things that bring us joy, however brief it was the first time.
I don’t promise myself anything anymore.
I’d rather have high hopes with low expectations.
Because hope fuels us, can be refilled, and opens the door to possibility. While expectations are traps that lead to disappointment.
Alex Tran & Alex Otieno’s “Common Discourse”
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