POLYGAMY:

***Originally published April 21, 2008, in response to the Texas Polygamy Cult raid***

The latest news on the horrors of man-instituted polygamy has caused me to receive a deluge of emails regarding the LDS church--to which I belong--and the practice of polygamy. While the scandal involves a break-off of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, it is still a reasonable question, and deserving of a truthful answer. Only the Prophet can give direction for the Gospel here on earth, but all of God’s children are entitled to ask Him for answers and receive answers when He--and His child--is ready. Between His words to His prophets--from the Old Testament to now--and the personal answers we are all entitled to through study and prayer, understanding the difference between polygamy ordained by God and the selfish, gluttonous, and wicked polygamy of man are plain to see and stark in contrast.

I have never understood why LDS women have a hard time with righteous polygamy. As if Father would EVER do anything to hurt His precious, tender daughters! Despicable that anyone would think of such a thing! Father is always extra careful about his daughters. He would NEVER require anything of them that would hurt them. He is the giver of good gifts, not wicked ones! THAT is His pattern always!

So read and learn, ladies, and don’t allow yourself to be deceived by your emotions. Here it is--the good, the bad, and the ugly of Polygamy.

We believe in the concept of the New and Everlasting Covenant. We are sealed by those in authority to do so beyond this life so that we remain a family in the next life; there is no “’till death do you part” in our religion. We do not believe that God meant for marriage and family--the ONE thing He established when earth started and man came to be (he did not set up farming, business, governments, or politics, but MARRIAGE only)--to be for this life only. Marriage and family are the ONLY eternal profession. It is the most important thing we will ever do.

As I searched through the Old Testament, where polygamy first appears, and all the way through to the Book of Mormon, I noticed a pattern to righteous polygamy and polygamy chosen by man and not ordained by God. I’m going to lay those out now.

The first pattern was from God. God instituted polygamy only on rare occasions on earth; it was never viewed as one of the “blanket commandments” like THOU SHALT NOT STEAL. It was a law that was lived by very few at certain times and forbidden at others, and was usually a legal maneuver for childless women within society or a familial obligation after the death of a brother who left behind a wife and children more often than a commandment of Father’s. God heard the cries of childless women and would, at times, say “Yes” to polygamy if the law of the land allowed for a “surrogate” to give a wife a child for her husband. God also knew that women’s rights were limited at that time in their ability to make a living or provide for themselves and children upon the death of a husband. God loves His daughters. Of course He would have allowed for them to be taken in and provided for by another man! Providing for widows and orphans is a very early commandment in the Old Testament, and was never rescinded.

The second pattern is who has the final say in living polygamy. There is a most definite way to know when the times were approved of by God and when they were chosen by man.

When polygamy was allowed by God, it was always the woman’s choice, such as with Abraham and Sarah. Not only did the woman have to give her consent to living polygamy, it was often her idea. The wife had to both agree to polygamy AND have say on who the other wife was. If the wife said no at any point prior to the marriage, the man was commanded not to live it. There was no punishment or threat of going to hell for not living this oft-temporary law--it was seen as a law for only a handful of people to live at any time it was implemented by God. And even at the times it was a commandment of God, less than 5% of His followers were commanded, or even EXPECTED, to live it.

Abraham lived it at the request, even insistence, of his wife Sarah, who chose his second wife Hagar.

Jacob lived it only because of the treachery of his father-in-law, and then tolerated more wives after Rachel and Lea began “the battle of the handmaidens.” Jacob was an obedient son-in-law but a greatly beleaguered husband. He tolerated much for the sake of his beloved Rachel, who was childless for many years of their marriage.

Righteous polygamy was seen as the wife’s choice and husband’s obligation to his wife in order to remove the shame that man heaped upon a childless woman, or to provide for a woman who had lost her husband.

It was the same with Mormons and polygamy. Less than 5% were asked to live it, and every time it was the decision of the woman, not the man, that was the final call. And as with Old Testament polygamy, there was no threat of hell or eternal punishment if it was rejected, no excommunication or denial of association. It was all a matter of free will: the one matter of eternity that not even Father’s unconditional love can trump. We must choose to return to Father; He will NOT force us to Heaven, nor will He ever force us to do right. It must always be our choice—both good choices and wicked choices--or it simply doesn’t count.

Only Satan forces. He has to, because he knows that those with free will go on to gain knowledge, truth and understanding, and such things are NOT his friend. He knows God’s children will never choose him if given a choice; that is why all wicked men must deny free will. It is the ultimate enemy of iniquity.

Now look at the difference in patterns between God-ordained polygamy and the polygamy of man.

In man’s polygamy, the wife has no say whatsoever. The man gets to choose whatever woman and however many women he wants, and none of the women are allowed to say no. The trend when polygamy is evil is toward men growing older and older and their wives getting younger and younger. To force anyone to do anything is a direct violation of God’s lawful polygamy, which was a law of choice, not force.

You also see--without the ordination of God--that men begin to turn on one another, forcing younger more attractive men to leave their cults so they have less competition for women.

Beatings and threats to keep non-compliant women in line becomes common, the denying of choice or even the right to say “No” to marriage or pregnancy starts as young as 12 years old. Gluttonous numbers of women who are forced into a lifetime of servitude to a man instead of being allowed to choose to serve God as they see fit, and the eventual incestuous relationships of uncles, nieces, cousins, etc., consume wicked polygamy.

It is a law of force and no choice when it is mandated by man, rather than the law of choice--specifically the woman’s choice--when it is justified by God.

Therein lies the difference.

You must also understand that social norms often demanded such things. When polygamy was authorized of God, it often came at a time where famine, plague, or war had depleted the male population and left more females behind, in particular widows and orphans. God has been consistent from Old Testament through Doctrine and Covenants in providing care for widows and orphans. In ancient Israel it fell to a man’s brothers to marry his widow and care for his children, but in modern heavily-Puritan influenced times of the 1800’s, a woman could be labeled the worst thing society back then could label her if she took money from a man to whom she was not married or related to: a whore. In fact, the old “Blue Laws” of the Puritans actually made it a crime to give money to a woman to whom they were not married or related. In the eyes of those Puritans, there was only one reason a man would do such a thing.

By the way, those “Blue Laws” had stopped being enforced by the 1800’s but weren’t taken off the books in the US until approximately the 1970’s. That’s why they were dusted off and used against Mormon men who provided for non-related women and their children. That is when the Prophet Joseph Smith went to Heavenly Father about what they should to provide for the widows and orphans, a commandment from Old Testament times and never rescinded, and a commandment they were trying to follow in those early days of horrendous persecution. Since polygamy was not illegal in the US at the time, that became the answer. If the law of the land forbade men to give money to women to whom they weren’t related, then the answer became make them related.

Most of the documented cases of Mormon Polygamy were to care for women left behind by men who had either died or abandoned them. Remember, American society at the time frowned on women with careers. Brigham Young was actually ahead of his time in that when they needed doctors and there weren’t enough single men to fill the need, he sent single women back east to train. Many of the marriages, as in ancient times, were done to remove the shame and extreme poverty that man heaped on women who were alone, and prevent any punishment by gossip and the evil tongue against these righteous daughters of God. Of course, it shouldn’t happen that way, but the evil tongue is a horrific malevolence that weighs heavily on man more today than at any other time in history, and Father knows this to be true. In His wisdom, He seeks to give those who hate Him no cause.

Many say that polygamy has been lived over the centuries to build up the kingdom of God. This could be true, except for one thing. When God placed Adam and Eve on earth, if there was ever a time to justify polygamy, wouldn’t it have been then? I mean, they were it, and needed to people an entire world--so why didn’t He give Adam multiple wives then? As I studied and prayed to figure that one out, it became clear.

Adam and Eve were the beginning of God laying down His laws and relationship with His children on earth. For the rest of time, men would look back to the beginning when asking God how they should deal with life on earth. The fact that God made Adam and Eve the foundation for all marriage proves that His eternal ideal always has been the idea of one man, one woman. There have been times when He has temporarily ordained more than one wife, but those were never meant to be His law forever, or for everyone, and were often the idea of man and made into the law of the land. So long as His daughters were NOT denied the right to say “No,” Father allowed man to make laws for the benefit of society. But His ideal of marriage will always be that of one man with one woman. He has made that abundantly clear.

We believe that the inherent love for family and spiritual leanings of a woman means that more women will be worthy to enter the Celestial Kingdom--the highest degree of Heavenly glory, and the only one where man can live with our Father in Heaven--than will men. The Jews also believe more women will be worthy to enter Heaven than will men. In order to access the top level of the Celestial Kingdom, a man or a woman must attain the highest level of the priesthood. The highest level of the Priesthood is a temple marriage, an eternal sealing to one another. Men can only attain this high level of the Priesthood with a woman, and women can only attain this high level of the Priesthood with a man. There are no singles at this level of the Priesthood.

A man cannot enter the highest degree of glory alone, and no matter how righteous, and neither can a woman. If the only thing keeping a righteous woman from the top level of Celestial glory is marriage to a worthy man--and there are no worthy men available among single men--then polygamy is logical, but again, it will be as it was on earth--very few will choose--and choice is the eternal key--to live it. The majority who make the top kingdom will most definitely live God’s ideal, which he has made VERY clear is one man, one woman. It will require remarkably unselfish, true loving women to care so much for a sister that she offers to share her husband so that this sister she loves may attain Celestial glory. And as on earth, it must again in eternity be the woman’s choice and the woman’s choosing to live it.

I must stress this again: at any of the times that polygamy was authorized or tolerated by God, less than 5% of his righteous were asked to live it. That is hardly enough for any reasonable person to believe that it will be the rule rather than the exception in the next life. Bear in mind that when polygamy was lived in unrighteousness and against the will of His daughters, God was quite irate, and chastised the people through His prophet. That happened in the OT as well as in the Book of Mormon. I honestly don’t know how much more God has to do to make it clear that His eternal ideal, both now and for eternity, is the same as it was in the beginning: one man, one woman.

You need only to read scripture and the words of the prophets to know that what we see in Texas is evil. The women are allowed no choice in their dress, hair styles, spouse, age of marriage, children, or lives, a direct offense to God’s eternal commandment of all things being a choice, even if we choose wrong. Anyone—and I mean ANYONE--who tells you that you have no choice has chosen Satanic belief; run from them and never look back.

CAVEAT—Obeying the laws instilled by the will of the people is NOT force, so let’s nip that in the bud right now. Those who choose God will make righteous laws; those who choose Satan will make selfish, wicked laws that remove free will. Choose wisely and you have no need to fear law, be it God’s or mans. Consequences are the natural result of obedience or disobedience, NOT a punishment from God. If your choices force your Father to leave, you are not in neutral territory; you are left to the mercy of he who has none. And once in his grasp, you can be sure choice will be gone and replaced with slavery.

All of this can be summed up in my favorite old hymn:

Know this, that every soul is free
To choose his life and what he’ll be;
For this eternal truth is given
That God will force no man to Heaven.
He’ll call, persuade, direct aright
And bless with wisdom, love, and light;
In nameless ways be good and kind,
But never force the human mind.
--LDS Hymnbook

So there it is…knowledge, truth, and understanding. The choice is up to you. Ain’t it grand?

***

Always remember: Father would NEVER allow anything that would break the hearts of His daughters. If that is your starting point, you have no need to ever fear polygamy,***

D********l - Thank you for sharing that. Even from a convert such as myself, this has been a general misconcepted belief among many of my acquaintances, especially since many of them were around to witness the raid on a Utah compound that was preparing young girls to be married to old guys. And with all the fake videos and documentaries about women that have left the Church due to polygamy, it is no wonder that people believe these false things to be true.

I am so happy to know the truth and I know this is the True Church of Jesus Christ that has been restored on the earth by the Prophet, Joseph Smith Jr.

Resa LaRu Kirkland - What a wonderful thing to say, thank you! I’ve been surprised at the number of members who shy away from this topic, who actually fear it, yet don’t understand that it was NEVER meant to be a “blanket commandment” that all must live if they wish to be in the Celestial kingdom. What balderdash! Father makes it clear...here and there, when necessary, and ALWAYS freely chosen by the one who must share, His daughter. It was NEVER meant to be for all worthy of the kingdom; it is the willingness to share with beloved sisters that is the requirement. People forget, too, that in this country, the old “blue laws,” still enforced (albeit only when they wanted to) against Joseph Smith and the Mormons, were being used to turn the masses against Smith and the Mormons for “crimes against decency,” which supporting a female you weren’t married or related to was considered back then. Father knew this would be used, and given the number of LDS men depleted by persecution, the many wars of the 19th century, and due to men not being quite as strong when it comes to spiritual matters as women are, we were overwhelmed with females until well into the 20th century. (That’s partly why Pres. YOung sent a large group of unmarried women back east to become doctors...the valley was in dire need of doctors!) So thank you, and please feel free to pass it to anyone confused by this important doctrine...the relief most women feel when they understand this law is heartbreaking to witness, knowing how long they suffered - WARCHICK

K**********n - Thank you for the respectful way in which you wrote your article.

B********d - Well said. I’ve had to make similar explanations over the years as well but yours was quite eloquent. It’s especially nice hearing it from a woman, too, as it sometimes comes off as defensive from the men.

K***********n - When most in the world speak of plural marriage as belittling of making women as objects.

But your explanation teaches correctly the respect and reverence of women

Resa LaRu Kirkland - It is remarkable how many in the church forget the math of God’s doctrines. All have a path, pattern, and law that show clearly they are from Him and not man. Same on laws NOT authored by Him. The basis for His laws is always free will for all parties...that is definitely not the case with laws authored by NOT Him - WARCHICK

B*********d - I’ve always been curious of the extent to which other Christian religions teach from the Old Testament, apart from the Exodus and the obligatory Psalms and Proverbs. Wouldn’t the stories of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob raise any eyebrows regarding this issue? Or do they skip the “unsavory bits.” In other words, the principle isn’t without precedent but it still comes off as so novel to so many.

J********r - They called themselves flds.

Resa LaRu Kirkland - You absolutely cannot teach the history of current Middle East conflict without knowing of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Until the restoration, all Christian religions were break-offs of Catholicism, and break-offs of those break-offs. This explains much, as Catholics have a long history of discomfort with OT doctrine, which involves the understanding of the 12 tribes and in particular the one tribe that is the lineage of He who is the center of their beliefs: Jesus Christ. They’ve never been at ease with the fact that until His mission call, Christ was an orthodox “Jew,” as we would call it now. ( He was actually following Mosaic law, as did Nephi and his people until after the resurrection, when Christ appeared to each of the tribes of Israel to fulfill--not wipe out--the lesser law of MOses and replace it with the higher law of His church. We still follow the foundational basis for “Judaism,” ie., Mosaic law or 10 commandments, an eye for an eye (higher understanding of this is the absolute mathematical law of action=consequence, you can’t expect joy from sin, etc.), but the higher version, all based on love for God and each other. Christ was a good and law-abiding Jew, and in order to understand this and the missing years of His life, you must become well-versed in OT. I absolutely adore Isaiah, a book so important that Nephi included much of it in the BoM. It is said if you want to know the steps of the second coming, know and understand and constantly study Isaiah. I can testify that this is very, very true, even more so than Daniel or Revelations. There is just no way to over-emphasize Isaiah. Given that all of the beginnings of Father’s dealings with man on earth begins with OT, and the huge emphasis on the beginnings of this relationship that are part of the Temple, I have NEVER understood why so many members are ill at ease with the OT. I adore the NT and NOTHING beats the BoM when it comes to historical accuracy and math (patterns), but always always always the path, pattern, and law by which all understanding is achieved is to start at the very beginning. Coming in in the middle of the story leaves you woefully delayed in your understanding and growth. We start at the beginning in reading, math, and every subject on earth. The same law applies to doctrine. It is truly magnificent - WARCHICK

B*********d - Brilliant. Agreed, 100%.

J********r - When all that happened in Texas we were in Denver at the V.A. hospital watching it on tv. Every time they would say LDS and not flds(I did not capitalize due to they ar not LDS). I was frustrated because they are not recognized by our Church. They are fundamental lds. Fake lds. They use the church to be able to control wemon and children. Also to molest innocent children. By not putting the f in front of LDS many people thought they were the same as LDS. There to many people lied the confusion. I was talking to a lady and then some people over heard and asked questions and thanked me for my explanation.

J********r - There lyed the confusion for so many people.°

Resa LaRu Kirkland - It was that confusion among my non-member friends that led to me writing this in the first place. What surprised me was the number of members who hadn’t understood this doctrine either - WARCHICK

25 July at 13:32 · Like · 1..

D***********n - Thank you so much for this article. This has been such a huge answer to my prayers. I have had so many issues with the idea of polygamy, and I have had to talk to my bishop, my husband has promised me he will never be sealed to anyone else, and many other things. I have always had such a huge issue, and this article has calmed my fears and soothed me with the spirit. You were definitely inspired when you wrote this article. Thank you so much!!!!

Resa LaRu Kirkland - You bet Dani...women in the church in particular dread this doctrine...such a waste when you consider that easily 99% of Celestial worthy women will ever even need to deal with it. It is just so very plain and clear that Father’s ideal is, always has been, and therefore always will be the pattern He established in the Garden: 1 man 1 woman. That is overwhelmingly clear in His path, pattern, and law. Polygamy is very much the exception and a doctrine of love and unselfishness. It makes sense that Father would give His daughter the final say, since she is the one having to share someone ordained exclusively to her. For both the man and the woman, in this life anyway, it requirement for living it is the same: sacrifice. But only 1 child of God is sharing, and it can only be called sharing if it is done willingly, out of love for a sister. Otherwise it would be a requirement, such as the law of tithing, for entrance into Father’s kingdom. But especially telling is the fact that nowhere in the Temple ceremony is the subject of multiple spouses ever approached...given the emphasis on the sacred marriage ordinance in Temple ceremony, it is the most telling proof of all that this was never intended to be the rule, but the rare and freely chosen exception. That is also a wonderful way to know as well the times, both modern and ancient, when it has received Father’s blessing, and those times have a common and evident pattern: it was NEVER the mortal man’s idea or introducing when it was righteous polygamy - WARCHICK

Resa LaRu Kirkland - It is also fascinating to note that with Abraham, the introduction of another wife was the desire and implementation of his wife Sarah. I wrote a bit about this temporary loss of faith on Sarah’s part. While she believed the promise made to her husband of infinite numbers of descendants, she panicked for a moment and took matters into her own hands when she was barren, as if to say, “Well, God, you messed up, but don’t worry, I’ll take care of this.” That’s when we got Hagar and Ishmael, the establishers of what would become the Arab peoples and the beginnings of Islam. God, being God, can turn evil for good, but Sarah did believe, for a moment, that she knew better than Father, a grim warning about taking matters into our own hands because we don’t see the how’s and why’s. Father had meant all along for the covenant child’s birth to be a miraculous one, born to a woman well past the age of conception. This was the beginning of God’s people Israel, and a similitude to the miraculous conception of the promised Messiah. I’m glad FAther knows us so well that He knew what Sarah would do, and made provisions for it. Evil simply cannot thwart the plan of God...He always has a back-up to turn that evil for good and fulfillment of His word - WARCHICK

D**********l - I keep seeing FLDS spoken of. I have never heard of them. or is FLDS actually the RLDS Church, which is now Community of Christ?

Resa LaRu Kirkland - So sorry Derrick..It is the Fundamental Latter-Day Saints, one of several “break-offs” of the LDS church that happened after Polygamy was removed from the doctrine - WARCHICK

A**************z - Wow! I’ve been schooled! Thanks Resa for this valuable info.

Resa LaRu Kirkland - You bet! WARCHICK

D***********n - I do have a question for you though. And I appreciate that you are responding to everything! My question is, during the latter-day times when polygamy was first restored, Heber C. Kimball, and his wife Vilate were put through a test. First Heber was asked by Joseph, if Joseph could have Vilate for his wife. And Heber finally agreed, and Joseph said ‘you have been so faithful, that was just a test, you passed’. Then Heber was actually asked to participate in plural marriage, and Vilate agreed to it. Will we lose our eternal salvation if we are asked to live it, and we refuse? If I am asked to share my husband, and I say no, will I not be allowed to be exalted with my husband?

Resa LaRu Kirkland - Absolutely not. There is no threat of hell, excommunication, shunning, or any type of “punishment” ever for those who decline. In fact, if a woman’s spouse, husband, or local leader did exact such treatment at her refusal, that is an offense that can be brought up before the Brethren for possible excommunication. Forcing was Lucifer’s plan, NOT Father’s, and any pressure to accept plural marriage was never tolerated by Joseph or Brigham. I should also mention that given the old “blue laws” of the time, where supporting a female you weren’t related or married to was considered a crime. Though rarely enforced beyond the 1700’s, no doubt this was in the plans of local Mormon-haters, as wars and persecution diminished the numbers of men and it is a requirement to care for the women left behind as a result. That is why Joseph, Brigham, and other leaders of the time were the first whose wives were asked to share, so that they could provide for these women without the risk of further persecution and punishment by local legal authorities. Most forget about the old blue laws...they don’t know that until the late 1970’s, in Idaho where I grew up, you could be tried and imprisoned for any sex outside of marriage, be it teenage or adulterous. I know many older couples who could have been sent to jail back then! But that was definitely in the plans of the persecutors back then, to use such laws to “get” the Mormons. Ironically, the law in America defining legal marriage as 1 man 1 woman was put into place to try to keep Mormons from voting. That very law is the one that the same anti-Christ attitude of today is trying to use to destroy marriage...so ironic! Made the law of the land to discriminate against Mormons, and now being destroyed to further Lucifer’s plan..wow. So no, Dani, there is no punishment or threat if the woman declines to accept plural marriage. None at all. And the lack of it in the temple and at the foundation of mankind, the beginning of His dealings and laws with His children, is the most telling of all. From the start, Father clearly favors 1 man 1 woman marriage. That is a mathematical certainty for all who study His timing and laws, so be confident in that fact, and be comforted. Father established His way in the beginning, and that is His preferred and ideal. I love that about Him! WARCHICK

Dani Sorensen Thank you so much! You are the best! I will definitely be following your posts!!

Keep the faith, bros, in all things courage, and no substitute for VICTORY.