Everything I Ate Since I Last Talked to You About Eating

It’s been two weeks since my last post, in which I vowed to write on Substack more in an effort to go on Instagram less. So, here I am, about to tell you every place I’ve eaten out in the past couple of weeks and share with you the photos I took before eating. Just because Instagram isn’t eating first doesn’t mean my phone isn’t eating first, you know what I mean?

Avenida (1 Penn Plaza)

I went to see my favorite podcast duo perform live at MSG (shout-out The Basement Yard), so my mom and I popped in to Avenida before the show for dinner. We originally tried to get into Bourbon and Branch (over on 33rd street), but failed miserably, because that place apparently gets packed. (Spoiler alert: We did make it to B&B a week later. . . . More below.)

Avenida was fine. I had Baja fish tacos, which I think you have to try at least once every time you go to a taco spot. They’re classic, and when a restaurant gets the batter right, it’s crunchy, just a little bit greasy (in the best way), and delicious. When it’s right, it’s the perfect taco. Avenida, though, didn’t nail the crunch at all. The batter was soggy and topped with a radicchio slaw that was dampening it more, and the proportion of fish to taco shell was not well balanced. I did have a couple spicy margaritas while I was there, and those were better than fine. So maybe that’s a saving grace.

Pasta Louise (1114 8th Avenue in Brooklyn)

I don’t think I have ever talked about my passion for Pasta Louise on this blog, but I have definitely raved about it on Beli (@briannayvelisse by the way). My general consensus is: The hype wins. Pasta Louise is better than good. One might say it’s phenomenal. I love it. Every time I eat it, it’s good. And what’s hotter than consistency?

Cat and I went on a Friday night and we bought a bottle of wine, because if you’re each going to have at least two glasses, just buy the bottle, obviously. I had the seasonal pasta: autumn squash and kale. Pasta Louise serves a different pasta shape every day, so everyone’s eating the same noodle with their choice of any toppings they want (unless you’re Cat and you’re gluten free, in which case you’re only ever eating rigatoni).

The menu said the chef recommended crispy prosciutto on the seasonal pasta, and I obviously trust the chef with my life, so that’s what I ordered. Let me tell you: I would die for this pasta. The crispy prosciutto was like nothing I have ever had before, and I would love to purchase a jar of it to eat like potato chips. And you may or may not know that I am very into squash recently, so the combo was enough to make me want to kiss the chef.

And of course, I am never leaving Pasta Louise without ordering the tiramisu. This is where we talk about consistency. I have had this tiramisu twice, and it has tasted the exact same both times—and both times it has been divine. It’s creamy and airy, not too rich, and absolutely delectable. Plus, it’s pretty. Look at it! She’s a beaut! Almost so pretty you don’t want to eat it. Almost.

Brass Monkey (55 Little West 12th Street)

Call me biased because I adore the owner of this place, but an establishment can always impress me by nailing one dish: a caesar salad. And maybe you’re thinking, That’s dumb, it’s just leaves and dressing, how hard is that to mess up? Listen, making a good caesar is not as easy as it sounds. A good caesar salad takes finesse, it takes an understanding of proportions, and it takes a respect for the difficulty of the task. If you think you could nail a caesar salad easily, you’re already doing it wrong. Put some respect on the caesar’s name.

Brass does the caesar salad well. It’s tangy, sopping in dressing without the lettuce losing its crunch, and you have the option to add crispy chicken to top it off. I don’t know about you, but I don’t need grilled chicken on my salads. If I was trying to be healthy, I wouldn’t be ordering a side of fries to go with my salad.

Bourbon and Branch (155 W 33rd Street)

On the day we couldn’t get in to B&B before MSG, we made a reservation for exactly one week later—because nothing will make you try a restaurant faster than FOMO. (What a sentence full of acronyms, jeez.)

This place really did surprise me. I was expecting a very touristy, gimmicky, and for some reason, country (???) vibe, and I was met with the opposite. Bourbon and Branch has an elegance, a hipness that I couldn’t have predicted. It’s right in the heart of one of the most touristy areas in NYC, but there is no gimmick here. Just good food, and a happy hour from 4–7 p.m.

I had three $10 margaritas (which were strong with a nicely salted rim) and the french onion soup burger, which cosplayed a french dip, giving me a french onion soup of sorts on the side, along with a side of fries. Notably, I wasn’t given a spoon, so dipping the burger and fries into the soup was the only option here—not that I’m complaining.

Everything was yummy, but I’ll admit that I think a huge reason I liked this place so much was just the general vibe. It was crowded (standing room only at the bar), the music was loud, and the company was great (shout-out my parents and my partner). It felt like the place to be on a Thursday night in New York City, and on top of that, I had a burger I could enjoy. It was a win-win night.

My mother ordered the risotto ball, which I am telling you only to let you know that it was sitting on a bed of literally the best pesto sauce I have ever tasted in my life. The sauce was a color green you don’t expect pesto to be, but when you taste it, you understand why: It’s creamy, and it’s sooo cheesy, and I would buy ten bottles of it immediately. I was just dipping my fork into the sauce and licking it clean.

EGP Land and Sea (2 Pettit Pl in Island Park)

This one’s a bit far out for my readers in the five boroughs, but if you ever find yourself in Long Island, I think this place is worth trying. Not only is it decorated adorably for Christmas, but it has a banging bloody mary (three olives, a lemon, and a lime?!) and a menu that makes it impossible to decide what to eat, because everything sounds so good.

We went for brunch (hence the bloody marys). They have a $17 bottomless deal for two hours, which is hard to come by in the city, and their drinks are good. My only qualm is that I noticed mimosas coming in different glasses each time the people around me ordered them—sometimes a tall skinny glass, sometimes a mason jar, sometimes a tall wide glass. This annoys me. We need consistency, remember?

The bloody was spicy enough to give me a stomachache that night (but, like, I would drink two again, because the flavor was spot-on. Also, I love a drink that comes with a snack). I ordered the stuffed french toast (stuffed with frosted corn flakes and nutella) and a side of loaded tots (loaded with bacon and cheese, though not nearly enough cheese, I’ll note).

The tater tots were crunchy on the outside and soft on the inside, and when I got a bite with cheese and bacon, I was in absolute heaven. When the waiter came over and asked if he could take away the tots, I protectively covered the skillet with my hands and assured him I would be finishing the five crumbs I had left. The french toast was yummy, too, though I expected the frosted corn flakes to be a bread crumb of sorts so the outside of the bread would be nice and crunchy. Still, the bread wasn’t soggy, and I enjoyed the combination of the corn flakes and the nutella on the inside. It was appropriately sweet for a breakfast dish.

While I’m talking tots, I want to say that I came across some discourse online (read: YouTube) where people were debating if tater tots are french fries, and far too many people said yes, they are. This is truly preposterous to me, and I will not be discussing it any further than saying: No. Tater tots are not french fries. Get serious.

Other news in my life lately:

• My Thanksgiving yoga class fundraiser raised $475 for the Gaza Soup Kitchen! Thanksgiving is this week, so please consider donating to a charity you care about this season <3 Donate your time, your money, your resources—anything that works for you.

• We’re coming up on my first-ever Christmas Cookie Box series, and I’m very excited to share with you what I’m baking!!

• I discovered via Marian Bull’s Mess Hall Substack page that there’s a website called Eat Your Books that will index all of your cookbooks (that you have laying around your kitchen, unused) and make them searchable for you. So, instead of searching Google for what to make for dinner with sausage, easy (I’m looking in the mirror here), you can search your very own books, and it will direct you to the page number of the recipe so you can find it in real life. Isn’t that kind of awesome? I’m assuming it’s more nuanced and intelligent than the way I’m explaining it, but as I start to use it, I’ll report back.