Islands In The Stream

I recently took a trip back to my hometown. Most of the time, it’s fine. I’m happy to visit family and then happy to come back to my quiet house. This last time, for various reasons, brought up childhood traumas. (I know, I know. We aren’t supposed to talk about those things! It makes people uncomfortable.) Relax, I won’t get into all of that. I just wanted to share an analogy.

When we’re going through hard times, whether in childhood or adulthood, it’s like trying to keep your head above water in a swift current. You must be in the stream because you have to be there. You deal with doing homework, going to your job, feeding a family, doing the laundry, all of the things that we must do in life. Sometimes it’s hard to keep your head above the water. And sometimes we may even want to swallow the water and sink.

But occasionally, there will be a small island where you can rest and relax. It may be attending a slumber party and laughing so hard that you cry and can’t breathe. It may be finding a person who listens, cares, and helps. It may be someone close to you who will babysit so you can remember what it’s like to be a person who goes to a restaurant. Those little islands are lifesavers. They’re gems.

And then you take a deep breath and jump back into the water, because that’s what is expected.

But here’s the thing, things can get better.

Maybe you get counseling, move away from the problem, or find a support group of people who are going through the same thing.

And then, before you know it, there are more islands. Then the water’s not as deep, and it becomes a shallow creek. Currently, pardon the pun, for me, I’m walking a dry creek bed. Occasionally, I’ll come across a deep pool that I can walk around or cross. But it’s okay because I now have the reserve strength to do it.

We all have something that’s been challenging in our lives. I’m at the age when women gather and feel free to share our life stories, and we shock the others. We’ve all had something that would have stopped others.

A common question, “How did you deal with that?”

A shrug. “I just did. I had to.”

So this is a reminder, if you feel that you’re sinking in the current, try to take time to be kind to yourself. And remember the islands. Whether it’s relying on friends, a beloved pet, watching a favorite show, performing music, or whatever your happy place is, the brief respites will help you rest and gather your strength.

And don’t be afraid to talk about what you’re dealing with or what you’ve had to endure. I’m a big believer in bringing things to light. Because if we don’t bring them forward, how can we deal with them? How many times have you watched a movie, and a character is dealing with something horrible and extraordinary, and you shout at the TV that they should tell somebody? (No one? Maybe it’s just me.) Because until they tell someone, the problem can’t get better. Whether it’s dealing with a ghost in the house, or a real, live problem, it won’t get better if you don’t tell someone.

And if you don’t have people to talk to, there’s a group for everything these days. I guarantee you that you aren’t alone.

So, sit on your islands, take deep breaths, enjoy the moments, and know that it can get better. Or even better, get a boat! (Doh! I wish I had thought of that long ago!)