I'm sorry

Back in the early years of my journalism career I asked Gene Myers, my old sports editor at the Detroit Free Press, if I could write columns someday.

“Do you have something to say?” he asked.

Do I have something to say? Something of substance, something that will resonate or enlighten or make a difference?

Gene wouldn’t know this, but for the past three decades I’ve thought about that question every time I’ve sat down to write a column for a newspaper or magazine or website or blog. I’ve always tried to have something to say.

But these days, I don’t know. Maybe I have too much to say. And I find myself asking, does anyone want to hear it? Because that matters, too. It matters more. After all, what’s the point of saying something if no one cares to listen?

Anyway, that’s what I’ve been thinking these last few weeks as I stepped away from this substack and stopped writing for a while.

Maybe the subject matter is too hard. I find myself writing about what’s happening to this country, and how it’s impacting me. I wish I could look away, but I can’t as our country is strained in ways I never could have imagined.

The Constitution isn’t just words on a piece of paper to me. The First Amendment is my raison d'être. My career wouldn’t have happened without freedom of speech and freedom of the press.

Right now, it seems like the powers that be in this country are using the Constitution for toilet paper.

I read a column in The New York Times recently, How Will We Know When We Have Lost Our Democracy, penned by political scientists at Harvard and the University of Toronto. They argue — reasonably, I believe — that we are no longer headed toward a brutal autocracy. We are already there.

“When citizens must think twice about criticizing or opposing the government because they could credibly face government retribution, they no longer live in a full democracy,” they write. “By that measure, America has crossed the line into competitive authoritarianism. The Trump administration’s weaponization of government agencies and flurry of punitive actions against critics has raised the cost of opposition for a wide range of Americans.”

Senator Chris Murphy of Connecticut went so far as to say we may not have free and fair elections in 2026.

I read these things and know we are living through one of the greatest crises in the history of our country. The Revolutionary War. The Civil War. World War II. This budding dictatorship.

I try to take comfort in knowing that in times like this, our country has always fought for what is right. And ultimately our democracy has always won.

I fight by attending protests and sending emails to my representatives and writing this substack. But what I really want to do right now is scream — and scream at everyone for not doing more to oppose what’s going on. Because I worry there isn’t enough fight in us this time.

Can’t you see what they’re doing? Protest! Say something! Do something!

But I also realize some of you don’t want to do any of those things. If you are afraid, I get it. If you worry about liking or amplifying a post and potentially angering a boss or family member, I understand. If you want to just live your life, hug your kids or grandkids or dogs, or just travel the world — if you just want to get through the day without thinking about any of this — I hear you.

Some of you may have defriended me, turned off my posts on Facebook or maybe you just ignore my rants as you scroll down each day. It’s okay.

I’m sorry if I have made you uncomfortable enough to turn away. I really am.

Someday soon I think I’m going to have nothing more to say. I’m just not sure that will be by choice.

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