two flowers
taken by the cemetery earlier today on my way to get groceries. butterfly weed , a species of milkweed bluestar
annie blog
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two poems
i discovered this one a few weeks ago when going down a rabbit hole about tao lin. link to poem on poetry foundation this one i read two years ago in molly by blake butler, and couldn't stop thinking about. the book is bleak and pretty hard to read, and i found blake butler (who features heavily in the book, as it's about his wife) kind of insufferable. but there were moments of stark beauty…
perfect days
on friday night i watched perfect days (2023) . danny borrowed the dvd from the library about a month ago (he's become a "physical media sicko" and tbh i'm tempted to join him) and i've been waiting to be in the right mood to watch it. from the little i'd seen and heard of it (trailer + danny loved it + flan loved it) i had a feeling it would have a big impact on me and i wanted to set aside a…
todotodotodotodotdotododo
i took the day off work today and find myself confronting the seeming reality that i don't know how to relax anymore. when did this happen? i feel like the last time i truly relaxed was COVID (sorry, crazy) when i was at my parents' house doing nothing day after day, and time felt infinite. time feels so infuriatingly finite these days. the weeks pass by, the months pass by, suddenly it's may…
that feeling when u know ur ass is not gonna be asleep by 11:30pm
me rn
da old year
muahaha i have employed blogging time travel tactics and just published a post about my 2025 intentions but made it look like it was published last april. i did in fact write it last april, but i didn't have (or know about) bearblog at the time, so my plan was to make a whole custom neocities blog setup and then post it, and then i procrastinated on that for months, etc etc. but! it's a new year…
recently *
we had our first real snow of the year this morning! i don't think it snowed basically at all last year, unless i'm forgetting something… so i feel ready for a snowy winter ☃️ life has been predictably hectic and strange. i haven't written much about this, or even thought about it much in a holistic sense, but i've been going through on and off periods of debilitating anxiety for most of this…
transcendence, etc
last night was the boshi angel show and it was very beautiful. i didn’t get to catch the whole thing bc i was working door with d and danny for a while, but i went in for norma dream’s set and it was crazy crazy breathtaking T-T i could spend paragraphs and paragraphs attempting to describe the show but i don't think i can do it justice. norma sang and played banjo from atop a 10 ft ladder. she…
recently ~
I got sick with something cold-like this week. I feel like I've been getting sick way too often! I was slightly sick in Japan a month ago, I got sick in June and missed Evan's wedding (T-T), and I think there were a few times before that this year as well. I know that my immune system is out of whack in some ways, but I wonder what I can do to make it a bit stronger. Maybe I just need to be more…
idle thought while doing dishes
i wash my dutch oven soon after using it (or at least i try to), because if i don't the residue from cooking will harden over time and stick more firmly to the enamel, and it will be very difficult to scrub off. i tell someone when i'm hurt by something they did (or at least i try to), because if i don't the residue of hurt and anger will harden over time and stick more firmly in my heart, and it…