Dear United Kingdom...WTF ARE YOU THINKING?

JULY 11, 2026

SO… I’ve been thinking about this for a while, and I had to get it off my chest, because, well, I’ve got things to be getting on with and this is one that just had to come out.

It occurs to me that the United Kingdom’s means for picking its leader is, frankly, absolutely bad-shit crazy. It’s not just a political mess, it’s a social one as well, and if it doesn’t get fixed, it’s going to lead to major problems in the future - ones that will make the BREXIT debacle look like a mole-hill.

The United Kingdom has had 58 people serve as Prime Minister since 1721. That’s an average of one every 5.25 years. You’d think that’s a pretty good average. U.S. presidents serve, strictly, either four or eight years. As one of my favorite people said in The Holy Grail, “No more, no less”. The problem is that these prime ministerial terms ran from the tramp, Liz Truss, who was bested in duration by a head of lettuce (49 days), to Sir Robert Walpole, who served 20 years, 315 days (1721 to 1742).

The difficulty is that, in a pattern that seems eerily similar to the Italians, prime ministerial terms survive only as long as the political winds are blowing his or her way and die the moment that he or she does something monumentally stupid…. which, from where I sit, seems to be much more frequently than is good for a country or good for the health and contiguity of policy and effective governance.

Take Sir Keir Starmer. An incompetent boob is if there ever was one. He says he’s Labour…. but his policies don’t reflect a liberal or small-d democratic agenda. He won’t tax the rich, he kisses Trump’s ass, and he can’t seem to get out of his own way in terms of effective financial policy… and so he’s about to get bounced out on his ass because his party sees his failures and knows that it’s going to lose the next nationwide election if it doesn’t get a new person in place who can actually plan, speak, and govern effectively. That will make 10 prime ministers since 1990 and seven in the last decade alone. If the U.S. did that, no one would do business with us simply because they would be aware that we’re just too disorganized and too incompetent to make for a good trading partner, much less anything else. Now, don’t get me wrong: the asshole in the White House right now needs to go. He’s a pedophile, incessant liar, con-artist, cheat, misogynist, and a racist (and those are, unfortunately, his good points).

WHEREAS… in the United Kingdom…. you’re being led around by Gru or one of the other minions. That’s how BREXIT - a racist, xenophobic, moronic piece of trash if there’s ever been one - came to be. It was created, promoted, and championed by Boris Johnson - a moronic know-nothing whose hair was only slightly better than the orange asshole who leads my country (and I use the word “lead” advisedly), and Nigel Farage - a facist and racist if there’s ever been one.

AND YET…. a majority, albeit maybe slim one - voted for the cluster-fuck that is BREXIT… just like they keep wanting to vote for the morons in Parliament who can’t figure out that multiple (i.e. more than two) parties leads to catastrophe. And maybe that’s the very problem. THE U.K’S SYSTEM IS INHERENTLY UNSTABLE. It’s like a three, five, or more-legged stool. It’s never going to be functional while it has that many legs, because it doesn’t very much political pressure to knock it over and it keeps electing to the prime minister’s office men and women who are NOT representative of the whole country’s wishes. Rather, they come out of an individual constituency - and that might very well be a part of the Kingdom where the voters are completely and utterly cracked in the head. It certainly appears that that is the case.

What can be done about this? Well… the first thing to do is create an actual constitution and put down on paper the rights, responsibilities, and freedoms of the people, instead of leaving it to the “common law” and the legal findings of the judiciary. Case law does NOT work over the long term. The same thing is true with acts of Parliament. Laws that have been passed can be undone by succeeding sessions of Parliament. Not so with a constitution. The United Kingdom needs one. Right now, the United Kingdom has a “uncodified constitution” - leaving to Parliament to act as the sovereign authority. THAT DOES NOT WORK, and frankly it’s a mess.

SO…. here’s my plea: FIX THIS PLEASE.