Finding solid ground

Last month, Trump administration funding cuts to suicide prevention call centers across the country forced our local non-profit organization, CommUnity, to lay off 49 individuals, all of whom staffed option #3 on the 988 suicide crisis line for LGBTQ+ people. You might think that this option is excessive, I mean, why would LGBTQ+ people need a separate hotline?

I talked with Sarah Nelson, the Executive Director for CommUnity, and she told me the numbers for last year. CommUnity answered roughly 100,000 suicide prevention calls–70,000 of those calls were for the #3 LGBTQ+ line. Put another way, 70% of suicide prevention calls last year identified as LGBTQ+.

Let me be clear, when you call 988 right now you will talk with someone who was trained by CommUnity–someone who is deeply versed in how to engage with people in the LGBTQ+ community. Even though we no longer have an option to use a different line, please call if you need help!

I’m bringing this to your attention, not only because I believe we need to get the word out that CommUnity and 988 are still a necessary and trusted resource for our LGBTQ+ community members who are in crisis, but because this is very personal to me. As a trans/queer/POC who came out as gay in high school in the 90’s, I have struggled with mental health and, occasionally, suicidal ideation (SI) most of my life. In a world where difference is vilified and actively preyed upon by society and the government, it is not uncommon for LGBTQ+ people to contemplate ending their life.

And it’s not just us.

Under this current administration and Iowa’s Republican-terrorized state legislature, I have often talked with residents and colleagues who, when exchanging casual ‘Hi, how are you?’ greetings, have replied with despondent grunts, shoulder shrugs, or a recent response: ‘okay-adjacent’. We’re all feeling this. Every week we think the state of the country and/or state of Iowa politics can’t get worse. But then it does. And those of us at the margins are historically the proverbial ‘canaries in the coal mine’.

Two weeks ago, the day before the Trans Advisory Committee was going to bring their ‘Resolution reaffirming our commitment to civil rights and equal protection for LGBTQ+ people’ to the full board, I started losing my battle with SI. I asked Natalie to reach out to Jon Green to tell him what was going on. I was distraught because I didn’t think I could sit in that chair and fight for this declaration of basic human dignity and a way for us as a local government to protect the LGBTQ+ community. When my wife put him on speaker phone, I asked if he needed me there, and he replied in his gruff but kind voice, “Well, V, I always need you. But please take care of yourself. We’ll get this through.” It allowed me to take a step back and re-focus on staying alive.

I am very fortunate to have a loving and supportive spouse, understanding colleagues, an incredibly responsive medical care team, and I am surrounded by a small circle of fiercely caring and bossy humans who forced me to stay home the rest of that week and re-calibrate. I am here because of the love and deep care of all of these people. And I am eternally grateful for their continued support on this journey.

I share this with you all because we need to be honest about this moment. I have already asked the question, ‘In the face of fascism, who are we as Johnson County leaders?’ Now you know a bit about me as a leader and how I’m doing, so here’s my 3 with V:

1. Please help me share the message about 988 being a very safe and affirming place for LGBTQ+ community members to call in crisis. The people answering the line receive the same training as those that handled the LGBTQ+ line.

2. I am touching the ground everyday. Literally. I mean, as a Taurus this makes sense, but also, as a human on this planet, I need to remember that I am connected to something greater than me that does not judge me. As my therapist pointed out to me- it’s not that I don’t want to live anymore, it’s that I want to be accepted for who I am in the world. So, I encourage all of us to step away from the news and go for a walk with a loved one or by yourself, pick up a rock, touch the bark of a tree, look up at the sky every now and then.

3. While I couldn’t attend the July 23rd Board discussion of the civil rights resolution that the TAC brought forth, I am very proud to have been part of the creation process and then had the absolute honor of voting for it. I want to thank every single person who helped bring this forward, and yes, it is on the backs of trans folx who created it, and also that is why it is so powerful and direct. Now it is our turn as elected officials to carry out the letter and spirit of this resolution. Something I am committed to doing every day.

I also want to thank the elected officials who read my last newsletter and reached out to sit down and meet with me, including the one who the title was named after- “I don’t bite!” There were many, but a special shout out to Solon city council member Lauren Whitehead, whose initial email prompted my request to reach out. I am proud to say that we are finding common ground and are identifying housing and community safety issues where we can work together.

As I said in my last letter, we only have each other. If you are a local elected official and are also struggling in this moment, please reach out to me. I would love to find ways to support each other so we can strategically meet this moment and serve our neighbors to the best of our ability.

Maraming Salamat!