5 years ago, I was stuck.
I joined a company that was supposed to be the Mecca for women in corporate and as a mum of 2 under 1.5, I honestly thought it would be my forever job. I got the offer just before Christmas too. A good omen.
And then reality hit. From day one, I could smell it was nothing like the glamorous working mum in the recruitment ad. And my life looked nothing like hers either.
Taking advantage of the flexible hours meant you were “less committed.”
The summer Fridays were a calculated PR stunt.
The whole work-life balance was for people who saw work as life and life as work.
For the rest of us, it was a bitter reminder that you had to choose between your family and your career every single bloody day so that the scale was tipped the right way.
Just thinking about it makes me mad. Like really mad. It reminds me of the version of myself I ran away from.
People often say that you are trapped in a golden cage, but what is really trapping you is not the perks, the salary or the stock. All of that is great but the real trap is in your mind.
When you reach what society considers “success,” it creates a sort of addiction. Call it ego, insecurity. It’s dirty. It’s dark. But it’s there.
But that’s not the real thing that keeps you stuck.
Sure, you need the pay cheque to cover the bills but most people who get to that stage have some buffer and could take the risk and try something they are passionate about. Worst-case scenario, you get a lower salary, compromise on something, or just give up your avo on toast for a while.
You will be fine.
But somehow, your brain creates this narrative that you are stuck. And if you believe you are stuck, then you really are.
“You are what you believe yourself to be” - Paolo Coelho
Shit was about to hit the fan. The “P&L reengineering” (for Christ's sake, give me a break with all the fancy jargon) was around the corner, and I had been warned about a Performance Improvement Plan.
The boat was sinking but I didn’t dare to jump.
I write about being brave and taking risks. The truth is, I was a coward. For one year, one entire year, I did not dare to quit.
Not because of the money.
Not because of the title.
Because my mind convinced me that I had no other choices.
365 days is a long time.
It’s a long time when you close your laptop at 6 pm on a good day and run with high heels through the subway to make it just in time to tell your kids “I love you to the moon and back” and turn the lights off.
It’s a long time to live on autopilot without purpose in your everyday work.
It’s a long time to feel empty.
I believed I was stuck and that’s why I didn’t take action.
That experience shaped my character like no other. Three years later, I wrote the book Conquering Your Burnout to help people get out of the dark hole.
Looking back, it feels so silly now.
I had savings, a supportive husband who didn’t put pressure, a great network on LinkedIn and in real life and a well-furnished brain that has allowed me to achieve a lot in life and overcome obstacles such as bankruptcy.
But in the moment, I didn’t see any of that because I wasn’t letting my mind switch off the scarcity mindset mode.
The truth is, no one is coming to save you if you don’t want to be saved.
What I learned is that your context doesn’t define you.
I have been an underperformer, but today I’m a Substack Bestseller.
I have been unemployed but today I get paid to speak for Fortune 500.
My first business failed but I’m currently growing a Portfolio Career with writing, coaching, public speaking and group training at The Lemon Tree Academy 🌳🍋🎓
Different context but same person, same brain, same values. I just needed to get rid of the old script and allow myself to believe in a new version of myself.
The potential to become is always there but only if you believe in it first and then act on it.
If you are stuck, do this: zoom out. What you see today is just a point in time. Fired, divorced, depressed, unemployed, whatever. The more you zoom out, the smaller the dot gets.
And that’s empowering because when you look at your life from the outside, you have full agency to write a new script where you decide the character you get to play.
You are not stuck because of the job, the breakup, or the failed test.
You are stuck because deep down, you believe you have become your context.
Zoom out.
Let it go.
Turn the page.
It’s time to write your next act.
To build a business that’s aligned with your nervous system, check out my new Series: Grow Your Portfolio Career:
Chapter 1: What The Heck Is A Portfolio Career
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