Hey Eric,
Meet Dill, named for the pickle or the herb - depending on the day. Despite being an avid birdwatcher he would surely cower in the face of Violet, so he watches the Valkyries from the comfort of his heated blanket at home.
As an aside, thank you for your incredible writing and reporting on our beloved Valkyries. It is a joy to finish watching the games and know that there’s more fun headed my way in the form of your Substack.
- Talia
General offer to Valkyrie Nation: if you send me a tasteful picture of your loved animal, I will add it to the rotation of Game Wrap animal pictures. Please include a couple of sentences about them and how you want your name to appear.
Extra points if they are wearing Valkyries gear, but even without is okay.
No AI please.
Email to apricotan@gmail.com
Tiffany Hayes mashes the turbo button
It’s okay if you don’t know what all these stats are. My high-strung computer calculates some rough advanced statistics for the game.
Teal = better, blood orange = worse.
And here is a home-grown graph of the game win probability tonight:
It looks right to me, but if you use this for anything important or anything bad like gambling, then you get what you get.
Coach Nakase pregame
Kiah is doing well, just have to follow the concussion protocol.
Talked to LA about how to protect the paint with Cardoso (whom LA already knows). More about communication, footwork. Have to be super vocal about all the screening actions they will see.
“If they don’t do it, tonight I will LOSE MY SHORTS,” except a different word with the same beginning. Then Nat turns and apologizes to the PR team, and also Matt Lively. Matt says, “Hey, I’m not taking the fine for this one.” Context: Matt’s last live interview with Ja resulted in a loud F-bomb on regional TV.
Ja’s knee is a little sore, just cautious.
What are you seeing in Stay Ready games? Nadia and Ash are very physical. Nadia, sturdier, wider base. Ash, wider length. Definitely believe they are ready.
Nadia loves to screen assist, go uphill, move the ball, rebound.
Sang her happy birthday.
What’s different? Rim protection, steadiness of D from always being in the right place.
Pressure the ball so it doesn’t get into the post to begin with.
How important is guards crashing the boards? That’s their job every night.
About her mental struggles as a coach. “If you need help, let people know.”
Pregame CHI Coach Tyler Marsh
(sorry, I only caught the end because it overlapped with Coach Nakase’s)
On DiJonai: I think it’s more talk for the outside than for the inside. I think that we all understand who she is individually and who she is to us as a team.
And we rally around her. I think that, you know, she’s a hard-nosed, passionate player, but she cares incredibly hard for her teammates, and her teammates feel the same about her.
Pregame
Okay, I was taking some survey data from the media room on the extremely important issue of whether the chant goes “Go Valks, clap, clap, clapclap, clap” or “clap, clap, clapclap, clap, Go Valks.” One vote for the first, one vote for the second.
Valkyries celebrate Violet’s birthday by having the national anthem sung by a singer named Raven.
Conrado Pascual assures me that Ashten Prechtel has told him that she plans to “let it fly.”
That’s not a Violet reference.
OK, so there’s a Waymo game ball delivery, there is a flag-waving thing but it doesn’t seem to be sponsored, and a drum ceremony banged by Violet. Violet has good rhythm.
I wonder if there is going to be a louder cheer than usual for Gabby Williams due to her being harassed online for her support for trans rights. This is the kind of controversy that only exists for the very online, but Ballhalla seems surprisingly online to me. This was brought home to me when everyone was in an uproar online about the Courtney Williams comments about Ballhalla being a bunch of bullies — which I never thought was a big deal and was all in good fun — and people were booing Courtney Williams like crazy.
Mixed boos and cheers for CHI lineup.
Gabby at 104.5, Cecilia at 101, LA Surprise Starter at 102.4, KT at 101, VB at 102.7.
Violet 105.5.
Scientific disclaimer: the decibel reading depends on where I’m sitting in the press section, so do not compare between games, although it is fair game to compare within a single game.
Q1
10:00. First play: LA with a good box-out on Cardoso.
8:10. That play is a result of Chicago’s defense. They have Cardoso in drop, more or less. She’s actually just kind of zoning up the paint and ignoring LA. The only way to punish that is for either LA to shoot a three far away from the paint or to have LA screen for Veronica Burton, who then shoots the three. Swish. Is it time to start believing in Veronica’s new three-point form?
5:05. Healthy cheers for DiJonai Carrington on check-in.
Also, the Prechtel Era has begun.
2:35. GSV ran the same play twice in a row for a Prechtel dribble handoff to Gabby. Neither got much.
HERE COMES THE CHEN-ERAL.
Prechtel with the drive and kickout to Tip Hayes 3, which is not what you’d expect.
1:45. Tip read that pass out all the way. She might have even baited it out. Pick-two. Then she kindly lets A.P. (my new name for Prechtel) get a rebound.
0:27. Tip with an outraged hop, which I assume is from the last drive where she was either fouled or found a supernatural way to horizontally change direction in mid-air.
GSV really missed Kiah’s rim protection a couple of times. Chicago also converted a number of mid-range jumpers. I bet the Valkyries are giving them those shots on purpose because they are somewhat inefficient analytically, but so far they have not been inefficient in reality.
Q2
That play was like a swarm of Smalls. Kaitlyn Chen, dribble handoff to Kaila Charles, handoff to Tiffany Hayes. Where would the Valkyries be without Tiffany Hayes?
9:32. Another shot where Stevens gets a layup at the rim, and LA is not able to make her adjust her shot.
9:13. Veronica Burton with the fly-by sidestep 3. When do we start believing in Veronica Burton’s new three-point shot form?
8:49. That time, L.A. trying to use her agility. Knocked the ball away in the post-up, as opposed to letting Stevens bully her with her power and size.
Oh man, Tip’s crossover there was blindingly fast.
8:15. Holy moly! Rachel Banham shoots a very long, confident three-point shot. I guess she has the green light and is taking every advantage.
6:35. Once Tip saw that Jacy Sheldon was guarding her on that fast break, she knew she was going to use Veronica’s bowling-ball technology to get contact and get fouled. Also, on the play where she got the steal, check out KT’s epic struggle to box out Cardoso on the post-up. Not only is there no Kiah, there’s no Janelle, so KT is really the last player standing of the usual Small Big Defender crew.
A.P. did a legit job staying with Natasha Cloud on that drive.
Then A.P. gets three free throws in the corner. I don’t know why Chicago is flying out at her like that. Let her prove she can hit one in-game pressure first.
A.P. HITS ALL THREE FREE THROWS.
5:40. Wow, if you load-manage Tiffany Hayes, apparently she explosively evolves into her second form MVP of the Runway.
5:15. Ashten Prechtel does a decent job hanging with Elizabeth Williams at point-blank range, although EW certainly thought there was illegal technology being used on her.
3:30. Wow, Gabby was trying to bait that pass from Carrington to the rolling Williams, and she got it, and then she got it.
3:10. Wow, that was such a wily move from Natasha Cloud. She ducks under with her shoulder to split the help, and that must have taken a lot of core strength to get that layup away.
2:50. I think that play started off as a Veronica Burton / Zandalasini pick-and-roll, which Chicago very quickly opted into a switch defense. That put a small guarding Cecilia and a big guarding Veronica. The Valkyries then opted into Cecilia post with her patented turnaround, and it was a really hard shot that was bailed out with that foul from Cloud.
I only just realized that the Violet nest area is RIGHT next to the press area.
1:50. Skilled drop step from Azurá Stevens.
1:15. Natalie going with a closing lineup of Gabby, KT, Kaila Charles, VB, Cecilia, so no bigs of any kind really, either L.A. or A.P. in this case.
0:40. Pure game theory says that the Valkyries should shoot closer to 30 seconds because that will assure that they will have the final shot, but Veronica is following the Noble Eightfold Path, the Way of the Bowling Ball. She flings in the world’s most awkward layup.
Luckily, CHI rushes their play and coughs it up, so game theory loses, the messiness of life wins.
Okay, I have to acknowledge from the Discord a couple of good nicknames for Tip Hayes steals:
Katrina: THIEFany Hayes
Chuy_Valadez: RIP Hayes
Halftime
Oh my god, the halftime show is Violet wants to “fly in the arena.” I am suddenly, as a parent, struck by horrified images of kids getting the wrong idea from this. Insert the YouTube video of Key and Peele with the athlete who tells kids that they can “literally fly.”
They put her on a wire and then she soars to the roof!
Then an explosion of confetti. Please don’t think too hard about Violet disintegrating into a cloud of feathers.
It’s sad, I’ve been in charge of too many things. As Violet started rising up, I couldn’t help thinking how much it cost to insure her and whether the Violet mascot got extra pay for doing this dangerous stunt.
Q3
8:41. A little thing. I like how Veronica waited half a beat to take a better angle, going shoulder-to-shoulder with L.A. on her screen. Even though the Valkyries didn’t end up scoring on that, it did end up making the Sky react to the screen.
8:00. When do we start believing in Veronica Burton’s new three-point shot form? When she’s on balance and takes that teeny little hop, that percentage has got to be pretty good.
7:28. I don’t think that was a full Hakeem Olajuwon Dream Shake, but KT with the beautiful drive into the lane and then ball-faking Cardoso out of the frame to get an open layup.
6:10. Did you notice the Golden State secret defense against bigs? I mean, it’s not really a secret, but you might not notice it if you’re not looking for it. There they sneak a second defender, KT, from across the lane to surprise her on a spin move. Unfortunately, KT got a little too much belly wump in there and got called for the foul.
5:47. Every time a Valkyrie such as Cecilia is guarded by Jacy Sheldon, they hear the summer song of violins and the smell of barbecue on the grill and decide it’s time to go right at her to get to the grill. I realize I might have gotten a little tangled up in my own metaphor, but those are the risks of the job.
5:20. It’s a little amazing that the Valkyries are up by six, considering it feels like every single play, Chicago sends Cardoso into the paint, and she bullies her way to two points.
4:37. Hey! Big moment for Aicha Coulibaly, who her coach said was working on confidence in her three-point shot.
4:20. It must be fun to be Tiffany Hayes and to have access to a turbo button where you can increase your speed by 50%. Next thing you’ll tell me is that she has a double-jump move.
4:05. HERE COMES THE LIEU-CHEN-ANT.
3:51. Tiffany Hayes sees the screen from A.P., rejects it, and manages to draw three defenders in the paint. Instead of hitting one of the two open players, she says, “This feels like time for a heat-check,” and heat is... confirmed. That’s the scientific method.
3:41. I think this is the second straight play that A.P. has gotten a block but on a foul.
3:31. Instant pop quiz: If I told you that a Valkyrie ended up flying in a scary-looking tumble to the floor, would you be able to identify the Valkyrie? Of course you can.
3:15. A truly disgusting stretch of play from Tiffany Hayes. There she drives, gets the ball stripped, and the ball goes right back to her. She misses the layup, and then she gets the offensive rebound and powers in a putback. This is Tiffany Hayes’s video game, and we’re all just spectators.
2:40. In sharp contrast, and I’m not criticizing, Kaitlyn Chen draws two defenders and then pulls out to identify the open player whom she passes to efficiently, but then, to remind you that Tip Hayes is currently visiting us from another planet, she throws in a wild flying left-hand hook, splitting the double-team in the air. She ended up on the ground, as usual. Hope she’s okay. Tip Hayes is currently saving the Valkyries’ bacon.
This does raise the question of what is happening to the bacon that requires it to be saved. Is the bacon being wastefully used? Is it being stolen by a burglar? Is it about to rot and needs proper refrigeration and storage?
2:24. There’s a drone flying around the arena, getting footage, and for a little while it was following the wave, sort of a half-cool, half-unnerving reminder of the surveillance state.
1:02. IN CHEN DIARY DEVICE.
It really does not feel like a 14-point lead for the Valkyries, but I guess when you get a bunch of turnovers and score every time back down, that lead starts to stack up.
Valks up to 11 steals by the way.
Banham is feeling it and is keeping Chicago within spitting distance.
CAN YOU FEEL THE CH3N3RGY?
By the way, my previous note should not be read as condoning spitting in public or spitting at an unwilling participant. I believe this is an old-timey phrase from back in the day when it was okay to randomly spit on anything you felt like or something like that. I’m not a historian.
Q4
9:04. That post-entry pass for Chicago had absolutely no hope. If you want to visualize the play for yourself, you could either go to WNBA League Pass or look up any documentary of piranhas attacking a piece of bacon. Two Valks could have stolen that.
By the way, I guess that means that you’re saving the bacon from being eaten by a school of piranhas. I told you all these notes would make sense eventually.
7:14. So Chicago had been trying to feed Cardoso in the post by throwing it right down the middle where, as I have mentioned before, the pass was immediately attacked by piranhas. On that play, Chicago relayed the pass to the left to get a much better angle on the entry, and then Cardoso bulldozes A.P. Instant timeout from Nakase.
Hey, I think a very blurry new Warrior Yaxelotl Lendeborg is on the Fan Cam in the stands.
Have they played TNT by AC/DC before?
7:00. This time, A.P. stands up pretty well to Cardoso’s power moves.
5:50. Okay, Veronica Burton gets switched onto Cardoso again with a screen, and she decides to punish the mismatch. Cardoso sinks back a little bit to prevent Veronica from treating her like a traffic cone, so VB instead goes for the step-back three. By the way, when do we start believing in Veronica Burton’s new three-point form?
5:11. Two straight steals for Veronica Burglar. Insert hamburglar.gif.
Also, I think the free-throw chant “V’s up” has started to win, maybe.
4:19. It’s kind of unexpected, but the Valkyries have been trying to develop Cecilia Zandalasini as a post threat. Whenever she gets switched onto a small, she posts up and threatens to do a turnaround jumper in their face, but now she’s also been using her strength to get the layup too.
By the way, in case it isn’t clear, “posting up” means that you have your back to the basket with your defender behind you.
I am very grateful to the Discord game thread as they feed me information that’s only available on the telecast, such as why there are weird stoppages. I had also asked them to alert me when Justė is on the bike, but it turns out I can just barely see her head and torso from where I’m sitting. Don’t worry, I’m still gonna need you for any other weird events that they don’t bother to inform the press section about.
2:23. I’m going to miss these mascots when they’re gone. I like having this many around. For instance, before halftime, there are about five of them lined up right in front of the press section. I didn’t even notice their wacky outlines for five minutes. It just adds to a certain Mardi Gras festivity to the whole Ballhalla affair.
By the way, I was reminded today that my friend John Valkyries United was an occasional person in the Stomper uniform for an Oakland A’s game. That is a wild thing to get to do.
Okay, Justė is off the bike and on the court.
1:59. Did Chicago just run an elevator-doors screen play for Rachel Banham, who was being guarded by Justė, that got her very open? That was a pretty mean way to welcome Justė back into the WNBA.
1:18. They let Justė Jocytė iso DiJonai Carrington, and she gets free throws.
Postgame interview with Tip Hayes.
“This Is What You Came For” by Rihanna and Calvin Harris plays for the victory.
Final tally of bobblehead getting: 6:20pm arrival got a bobblehead, but was running low. None at 6:30pm arrival at front (west) gate.
Postgame: Tiffany Hayes and Veronica Burton
VB: “Gabby gave Ash gratitude for staying ready as a DP.”
Tip: Happily looking over at the bench whenever something worked that they practiced.
OKAY I ASKED THE MOST IMPORTANT QUESTION No not about defensive rotations...
My question: Veronica, some fans wanted me to ask. You seem to have this ritual where Kaitlyn Chen will jump on your back and ride you into battle. Could you talk about where that began and what that means?
Yeah. I honestly don’t even know how half the things involved with Kaitlyn begin, if I’m being honest. I would always be first. She would always be right behind me, and then initially it was just she would jump on my back, and then it elevated to: I would stop and wait for her to jump on my back. And then one moment she put her hand up, and then it led to “CHARGE”, and now it’s every single game. So I don’t really know. It just happens. Yeah, there you go.
ONLY THE MOST TECHNICAL HARD HITTING NEWS HERE
In case you have no idea what I’m asking Veronica about, here is an official Valkyries pregame video from tonight (see the ending). Also here and this epic photo.
Postgame: Coach Nakase
Bad game plan to start, we had to change.
What was the adjustment? I’m not going to tell you!!
What’s working with the O? Our defense.
If I didn’t include your favorite player, sorry! There are only 5 slots available. Write a tribute comment at Valkyrie Nation instead.
If you don’t know what Discord is, you can ignore this. If you like how the site is now, then don’t worry. This site will still work the same and I’ll still post game previews and wraps over email and the web, etc.
However, if you are wondering where everyone is during game day, it’s the Discord server. For instance, for the IND live game chat, there were 880 messages (that’s a lot, even if 150 of them were Kaitlyn Chen puns).
Basically Discord is a group chat where you can engage with me and other readers. It’s good for conversation that’s a bit more casual than leaving a web site comment. You can also respond with emojis and multimedia.
I have been posting my live game notes in the Discord chat as I write them. I even live-commented the media-coaches game over Discord and answered questions. Questions and comments sometimes turn into things I write about for the newsletter.
For now, I’ll keep it open to everyone, but I reserve the right in the future to restrict it to paying subscribers.
Many thanks to Marisa Emi and Tac0maAr0ma for volunteering to moderate the Discord and generally reorganizing it intelligently.
The invitation link for August: https://discord.gg/3P5XTuwAd
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