I’ve been working on several different posts, struggling to finish all of them. Given that of late I feel like a cat that’s been run through a tumble dryer on high, I’m struggling to focus on and finish anything.
It’s not that the world has suddenly gone mad. It’s always been a place of brutal contradictions, insane cruelty tempered with the sublime. My country, the U.S., has been genocidal from its beginning, and violent racism and human trafficking, such as slavery and deporting immigrants to third countries in shackles, is as American as apple pie.
But lately it’s as though a 33 record is being played at 78 (for any of you out there too young to get this reference, please ask an elder, rather than Lord Google; human connection matters now more than ever). Each day multiple new hits land, any one of which, alone, would be gravely injurious to the human psyche (yesterday’s was the news that ICE is crushing men’s testicles in custody, with no absolutely no repercussions of course, and that Israel killed 3 more journalists during the non-ceasefire in Gaza).
But that hit, compounded with the rest of the day’s news and the previous day’s, and the entire month of January, not to mention the years of genocide in Gaza and Sudan and, well, this empath is starting to unravel.
I am terrified, horrified, enraged, despairing and grieving.
Yesterday, I ran into a friend in La Veta, population 900, one of the four towns in our large rural county. I was glad to see him, because I’d heard for some time that, like me, he struggles with depression. I wanted to let him know that I was there for him, if he ever needed me. Hilariously, the exchange did not go the way I thought it would go.
After I expressed my concern for him, and offered an ear or a shoulder should he need it, he then asked me how I was doing and I promptly burst into tears. He hugged me for a long time—he’s a great hugger—and I felt slightly less like an idiot when we pulled a part. I made sure he had our current phone numbers, he gave me his, and we parted ways. Then I rejoined my husband and another friend at the table where we were enjoying coffee together, told them what happened, and promptly burst into tears again.
I am not okay. I’m not asking for sympathy, I just want you to know that if you are not okay, you’re not alone.
How are you?
Are you sleeping? Eating well? Minding your sugar, alcohol and caffeine intake? Are you getting the mental and emotional health support you need? Are you spending time with people you love, doing what you can to strengthen those bonds? Are you getting exercise, meditating or praying regularly, journaling? Are you doomscrolling too much like me? If so, please try something else. I’m giving up doomscrolling to focus on Spanish and yoga.
Two friends sent me music this week to help me cope with the madness all around, and I also found a couple of funny/poignant songs with a video attached that speak to the President’s Greenland ambitions. I’ll share them, and hope you can also find something in them of value.
And I’ll try to get something more proactive and positive posted soon. Till then, hang in there. Much love.
Carry This All and Ready by Alexandra Blakely. Many thanks to LeAnna for turning me on to her. LeAnna knows that I have an unfortunate tendency to take on responsibility for more than my share of the world’s pain
The Hungry Giant, by Greenland Defense Front. Not For Sale, the second one, is also good but not as great as the first I think.
These songs and videos were actually created by @demonflyingfox using AI, which I am generally opposed to, but in this instance I felt they were used for such a good purpose I couldn’t resist. The songs are good, the videos are great, and I’ve been playing both on repeat around here all week.
My friend John, with whom I was having coffee when I burst into tears, sent this music to be because he finds the vibrations and frequency healing. Open Up to the Universe.
If you’re feeling more rebellious, I recommend Steve Earle’s The Revolution Starts Now and Rage Against the Machine.
Find your people, find the light and the joy in everything you can. Don’t give in to despair, and don’t give up. We will get through this together.
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