music, doodles, and non binary imposter syndrome
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ive been no contact with my ex (out of convenience / awkwardness, not some kind of agreement) for maybe six months now? they got in touch a couple of weeks ago because theyre planning to move to a bigger city to start a stable and well paying job that theyve been dreaming of for a while. theyre bundling a bunch of their things in their car with their boyfriend and heading over that way, and need…
this is one of those drafts that i've been sitting on for potentially actually years, but tonight i had the conversation that feels like it added enough to make it interesting, or perhaps just approaching some level of high-school-reading-comprehension-essay-style balance. i'm very left leaning and fairly politically active, but the way that protests have gone in australia have always prickled me.…
i know that some people relish in their site being desktop only as a hearkening back to the myspace and geocities days or a rejection or convenience or smartphones or something, but imo a responsibility attached to having a website is to make the thing at least somewhat accessible to people in different situations. "optimised for desktop" normally means "i expect you to be looking at this on a…
uuupah mini thoughts is this where i thought i'd be, looking forward as a teenager to my late 20s? at a bus stop at 21:16, cross legged on the footpath, writing a blog on a computer in my lap? i suppose they wouldn't be that surprised actually. my mini thought of this month is that i noticed a new behaviour in myself, this unconscious understanding of, and frustration with, the wrinkled blob of…
my blog has unintentionally gone from being a place where i can talk about weird shit that i'm thinking about and stuff ive been doing to this strangely strict self-imposed monthly responsibility that wears on me when it doesnt get done in time. i'd like to get back to talking about thoughts when these kinds of posts feel "done" and doing my monthly three albums as their own thing, maybe with…
pump the brakes it's been a weird autumn ! and a weird april. everythings settled down a little and i think im start to rediscover my love for notekeeping and personal organisation. i simultaneously feel like a bit of a void in me and my life and am starting to id things i want to do more - do more art, see more music, organise more silly little events - but i now actually have the energy to make…
if you didnt read my last blogpost, dont! it's depressing! and if you did, i still feel really bad and really scared about the future. what could make me feel good? my biannual mobile tab spring cleaning, of course. i hold on to tabs with things that i want to check later instead of writing them down, which is an awful habit, but when i do eventually clean them up i have a gold mine of cool things…
disclaimer if you're someone i know in real life, probably don't read this one. especially you LD and NB. sorry, but i'll fill you in on it some time in the future i dont think ive been so motivated and simultaneously unmotivated to put something to (digital) paper. but i kind of have to? i hope this is something i can look back on and laugh, either because this was totally not an issue, or, you…
steam on fedora (2026-01-29) steam continues to be a bit inconsistent and sometimes fails to start on my fedora wayland install, but so far the best results have come from updating the steam desktop file (which you can find with the command locate steam.desktop ), changing the exec line to: Exec=/usr/bin/steam --disable-gpu --disable-gpu-compositing --disable-gpu-sandbox --in-process-gpu %U this…
hello! i won't sugarcoat it, february was a month of a lot of fear and discomfort. i've been looking for new jobs, new places to live, and i think associating my background level of normal anxiety to probably pretty minor experiences around me. but! i also had of a lot of cool little experiences: this month i: climbed an outdoor lead wall for the first time in a year met an alpaca while having a…
never write a blogpost in a funk jesus christ ive tried to talk about my feelings like four times and im getting nowhere so im going to talk about the interesting things i found in january instead i dont like modern lego i visited a lego store this month and was pretty shocked at just how much of it caters directly to adults. the entire right wall, half of the store, were the black boxes of…
i'm actually kind of terrified by all the news coming out of the usa right now. a civilian gets shot by the country's own secret police. troops bomb a sovereign nation and kidnap their president before putting him to trial for breach of american law. donald trump will not shut up about invading greenland. what's the response from every other country on the planet? crickets. what is the point of…
getting off of spotify is finally trendy. there a couple of ways you can go about it - swap to tidal, swap to apple music, swap to the youtube premium account that you're forced to pay for to use youtube, buy a bunch of cds, dig up your ipod from high school (or god forbid, primary school (or god forbid, your parents' hand-me-downs)). these solutions are all fine, but what if you could spend a…
what a year! i was an absolutely mopey wuss 365 days ago, and even with the benefit of hindsight i think i somewhat had a reason to. my favourite end of year realisation has been related to all these in/out lists and 2026 bingos that people have been doing. i uh. i don't really know what half the shit people are talking about is even in reference to. and i kind of like it that way! i've locked…
welcome i come to you like a slug, crawling on my belly and dripping slime. covid has brought me low and removed my capacity for writing, reading, listening to music and cognisant thought. it did cause me to get some really good rest though. this has become a bit of a massive post, even after shooting two sub-thoughts into their own posts. the thinking and writing part of the brain stopped working…
spring has sprung! lets do a meditation exercise. find a quiet spot. close your eyes. imagine you're in the mid-suburbs of an australian city. it's 10pm. the air is crisp enough that you need to a light jacket, but not so cold that you can't smell the jasmine tree three houses over. you're getting out of your piece of shit 1999 toyota starlet. you got too busy writing an unbelievably massive…
maker coffee i started my trip to melbourne with the best coffee i would have all week! while i want to hate some of these fru-fru upmarket joints, their coffee always feels considered instead of a cafe afterthought. the toasted sandwich was also really lovely - i'm not sure the coffee rub for the beef was necessary or even that noticeable, but the smoked mayo was a delightful touch 1x small long…
three albums ii by ben von wildenhaus ii by ben von wildenhaus it's a little hard to put a nice neat description on this album. the picture of ben on the cover definitely gets you in the right headspace - it's a very guitar-forward experience with these slow melodies, sometimes haunting, sometimes somber, sometimes with a bit of a strange western-style drive. the album also has this weird mirror…
this is going to be a bit of a short one, for reasons that will hopefully be clear. i don't really have a good excuse for the lateness though, sorry! the month that never was july was a bit of an unintentional experiment on myself. i somehow managed to lose my common book and bullet journal, found my bullet journal, then lost my (new) common book and bullet journal again ! the immediate effect of…
fuck it! posting this one slightly early in the hopes that it motivates me to update my linux and cooking pages in the spare time i've carved out three albums / more mp3 player blathering this has been the first month with some decent musical discovery in a little while, which makes no sense because i've been unbelievably busy. it was definitely encouraged by the arrival of a new hiby m300 . i…
(this is more ironic than anything i promise) i'm kind of uniquely placed financially speaking; i work as a programmer, but most of my friends are artists, teachers or working in healthcare (not as doctors). i prioritise my personal life over my professional one, which is bound to bite me in the ass in the long term, but means that i have a comfortable enough life in the short term. the summary of…
hello :-) the weather's been getting colder, and my sense of smell is getting worse - partly because of the temperature, partly because the plants arent as fragrant, and partly because of the onset of my annual six-month perma-cold. i blissfully missed a huge chunk of australia's hideous summer this year, but i did get a lot of value out of impromptu late night beach trips and i'll definitely miss…
it's been a crazy almost two months since my last blogpost! i've been up to an immense amount of stuff - ran a weird comedy show with a friend, did a load of introspection, saw a bunch of music and cabaret. the art situation has ground to an absolute halt but! ive still been thinking things! i've also been listening to music! but my brain is mush so im not gonna give any thoughts on these albums.…
✒️editors note: let the record note that i posted this five days before the surprise trailer drop for tron: ares. i like to think that i was the straw that broke the proverbial camel's back i first watched this film in a car trip back from a scout camp with a boy i had a crush on, so, y'know, it's gonna be somewhat difficult to separate myself from the childhood nostalgia of the movie. all this…
(im using this post to tide over the fact that im still not done this months blogpost lol) royal milk tea this was one of the first things i grabbed and felt pretty indicative of the Standard Default milk coffee that you can get from a vending machine for 110 yen. it did introduce me to the concept of hot vending machine drinks, something that australia is sorely missing 🌕🌕🌕🌑🌑 suiyobi no neko…
welcome back to australia, me! i have started the year by having the most hair raising set of interactions and events. i should probably stop drinking coffee. dating im in my late 20s, but because im not married with children and because my work is pretty low stress most of the time, im freely able to experience The Live Arts pretty regularly in my city. i love going to gigs and gallery openings,…
i've been in japan since boxing day 2024 and i'm about to head off tomorrow - i really wanted to do something equivalent to my melbourne trip report from earlier this year, but i wasn't anywhere near as particular when it came to taking photos and recording prices over the last three weeks, so this is more of a highlight list of the things that i thought were really cool. it also has some general…
every now and then i'll be halfway through one of these and go "damn, this blog feels like a little bit of a shrine to consumerism". talking about media is kind of odd because in person, if i havent experienced what something is but my friends think i should check it out myself, i just want to know 1. is it good and 2. are there any content warnings for it (is it scary or gorey or does it cover…
three albums i straight up listened to almost no new music this month. i did add a bunch of new albums to my monthly playlist but most of them were kind of disappointing after a listen or two. im giving myself a break! vacation! if you really desperately need something, heres a sonic 3d / jet set radio vibes track i found on soundcloud: shangri-la by hydraa on soundcloud halloween i have a…
my three (?) favourite albums of october 2024! i swear to god im not doubling up on last months cop out, the first three are albums and the last two are singles that i would have felt guilty including as full fledged entries the data shinbangumi - ginger root shinbangumi by ginger root on bandcamp i might not have much to say about this album because i purely gravitated to this album for the…
i had a lot of music i really liked this month but didnt stew on singular albums as much as i would have liked, so heres a cop out bumper crop of albums i really enjoyed, with maybe slightly thinner analysis than normal my september 2024 plays black one - sun o))) black one by sun o))) on bandcamp i got recommended this band after sagely nodding along to an ambient noise gig - they're apparently…
this is a big one! strap in! my august 2024 plays! no hands - joey valence & brae no hands by joey valence and brae on bandcamp ⚠️october update!⚠️ these guys took their music off of bandcamp which is kind of a dick move! i honestly thought this was a joke album when i first heard it, but no hands is a love letter to / modern interpretation of 80s east coast hip-hop. the album both pays heartfelt…
let's start with a nice easy question - what are you meant to do with your life? theres a few answers that would get good scores on family feud: finish school, get a degree, find a good job, pair off with a romantic partner, buy a house and have 2.1 children. what are my goals? ive gone through uni and found a job that pays pretty well and doesnt put a huge stress on my time or energy. so what…
✒️editors note: holy fuck the run on sentences in this one are crazy good luck i've got a lot of joy out of keeping on top of current game trailers the last couple of years. as someone with three or four layers of ad blocking on every device i don't get new games advertised to me, and even when i did they would be whichever big update fortnite is adding this month. taking matters into my own hands…
i try to keep an arms length between a lot of my personal life and this blog, partly for privacy, and partly because i've found writing about a lot of my personal life sounds a bit boring. i hope you'll allow me to indulge myself a little. i'm currently feeling quite content, under two quilts and three blankets with my shitty busted up thinkpad sitting on my lap, typing into an obsidian window…
i didn't have the idea to do this until i got home so im missing a bunch of photos - i'll add some from elsewhere where necessary and add links to their sources. i'm also sticking the bill of items and price where i have them, and an approximate where i don't bowery to williamsburg this is a little new york themed cafe down a side street in the south east corner of the cbd. sitting outside is…
new month! new blog! regular delays! not to fear! playlist somewhere in between - leyline hex somewhere in between by leyline hex between this and dusqk's album last month, i am doing amazingly with finding random atmospheric drum and bass albums and subsequently playing it to death for the full length of the subsequent month. i've somewhat gone off of pure ambient music recently, but this new…
my friend gave me a spare bottle of hormone blockers today! i want to say it put me in a spin but i suppose it more just made me very thoughtful and introspective about what being non-binary actually means to me i like to think of myself as a bit of a realist when it comes to my physical construction and what that means for my gender expression, which i will happily admit is a benefit i am…
howdy all! the days have continued to fly by for me recently, but there is nothing that motivates me quite like an arbitrarily set, personal deadline. suffice to say that i have not been hit by a bus or suffered catastrophic food poisoning, and i've been slowly plugging away at a like four separate blog entries despite my frankly dangerously hectic out-of-house life. ive got most of the way…
i've had a hell of a couple of months that have somewhat impacted my blogging and art schedules, but i have to get in the three albums for april 2024 for the sake of my own sanity. theres a couple more things in the pipeline, so keep an eye on the blog! this month's playlist salami rose joe louis (there was an iframe here but rss hid it) i had a friend throw this on at a little friendly…
the desko bmos 5200 is a pretty interesting keyboard. i first saw one at the amman civil airport in jordan, and it has been absolutely stuck in my head for the last four years. i snagged one from taobao for a mere 50 aud and, horror of horrors, was greeted by this: that's right. a full width backspace. the nerve. some context i've been an unabashed keyboard dork for some time now. i don't…
i spent a bunch of time (and a bunch of money) in 2022 modding a gameboy advance with a pretty new ips screen and a bunch of other gizmos. like any nerd hobby there is a load of posturing for "who can spend the most money", and a fair bit of it is sort of unnecessary, so i'd like to talk through what i've done and whether i think it's worthwhile. i didn't notice the horrid finger smudge on this…
all good new year resolutions need to fail in february or march and my resolution to be more on top of blogs has failed spectacularly! for recompense, heres a bumper double music post as well as all the other stupid shit ive been thinking about for the last couple of weeks february ison by sevdaliza people time by stan getz and kenny barron momentary lapse of happily by adult mom i had a…
i had some big plans of writing all my home server guides in one big string when i did the first one, but it turns out that these actually take a really long time - so long that i've actually bought a second thinkcentre and started using it for hosting game servers! two key things i wanted to do with this box (which i think are actually worth sharing because they were a bit of a fiddle) were to…
i was going to say "tumblr has really done it this time" but the last five years of tumblr have been a real rollercoaster of tumblr-doing-it-this-time. that said - they really have done it this time . in the span of a week or two their ceo matt mullenweg had an insane meltdown where he personally singled out a trans user for saying that she 'hope(s) photomatt dies forever a painful death involving…
pardon for the lack of activity in january - i had very lofty plans of starting my new blog schedule, as well as finishing the "best things of 2023" that i think i've mentioned elsewhere on the site, but neither happened. i also didn't really do any art because i was busy doing manual labour and then recovering from that manual labour (although i think this year's art page is starting to look…
--> hello all! this is probably a little off-brand for this blog but i've spent the last fortnight+ renovating my shitty australian apartment and i thought it could be helpful to other people who would like to remove their stupid acoustic ceiling in their 70's era domicile. first up, a super brief intro to popcorn ceiling: this stuff was big in the late 20th century, mostly because it allowed…
bon voyage 2023! my "next blog" note file is getting huge and my monthly albums are a bit boring, so i'm doing another combo post. i think this is the format i'm going to do next year so i might as well get a head start three albums this month's playlist mostly contains my favourite albums of the month and a couple of less exciting ones that i wanted to give a proper listen 3. songs from a world…
it's spotify wrapped month! 2023 has been the year where i've endeavoured to drop videogame score, originally (shamefully) for my spotify wrapped, but i got heaps out of it and i'm glad i did it, even if the resulting post isnt that interesting. i'm actually considering ignoring it completely next year anyway as it focuses on individual tracks instead of albums, which i think is much less…
✒️ editors note: i started writing this review back in march or april and completely forgot about it. i sort of just charged ahead and finished the second half in a two hour session, so if it feels a little weird, sorry! i'll probably go through and edit it later i've been on a puzzle game kick recently; antichamber and manifold garden have always visually intrigued me, so i knocked them out in…
