Discovery writing sucks. I love it

Hey there! My name is A.J. Parker. I’m a poet and a young adult fiction writer. You can find me on Instagram, Tumblr, Bluesky, and X, and of course, here on Substack. Thanks for reading :)

Hello everyone, hope you’re doing well and staying out of the sun! I wore a sweatshirt yesterday because it was 90 degrees and cloudy.

I have been (gasp) actually writing again. It feels like I’ve been stuck in a non-stop cycle of editing since last year, and after hearing, “Step away and maybe you’ll get some clarity” several times, I tucked one my manuscripts into the metaphorical drawer three months ago and haven’t looked at it since.

I won’t lie, it was incredibly hard. What do you mean I’m not supposed to look at the 72,000-words I have hyper-fixated on for two years? It put me in a bit of an emotional slump, but I tried to keep myself busy.

I attended the Arizona Writing Workshop in May and Phoenix Fan Fusion in June, where I heard from some incredible authors and felt my creativity re-ignited. Specifically after a panel where we spent 60 minutes talking about dragons and only dragons, I went home feeling like I needed to started writing again (mostly about dragons).

And you know what? I did! I wrote 24,000 words in two weeks.

I also came to the realization this weekend that I have lofty goals for myself. Though it’s always floated around in the back of my head, after scouring through my computer, I officially counted: it turns out I have six series and one stand-alone novel in progress. That’s 18 books in total with 400,000 words written between them all so far.

In one of the conversations I had with an author at Fan Fusion, I asked some questions about getting published, and they encouraged me to keep at it. “The only difference between a published author and an unpublished author is that the published author kept going,” they said.

I am the classic archetype of a discovery writer, sometimes to my own detriment. Call it what you will–pantsing, intuitive writing, putzing around–I bounce within and between stories like nobody’s business, because I have so many ideas and so much energy, and then crash. Nothing. I’ll be putting together a novel for years because I have the beginning, a few parts in the middle, and the end, but I’m blocked in-between.

I’m one of those people who doesn’t know what I’m going to say until I say it. Even when I was originally taught how to outline essays in middle school, I hated it. Can’t I just get there when I get there? I’d think. How is this helping me?

But I can see now how it’s tempting to give up when you lose sight of your original vision. The plot flounders, the characters fall flat, and I’m stumped. I want the story to magically come to me, and that isn’t always realistic.

In a newsletter by Eva Langston, she writes that “you can’t always wait for the muse to strike.

“What I’m saying is, if you only write when you feel like it, you’ll probably never finish a novel. Some writing sessions feel amazing, and some feel like WORK. Writing a novel is really hard; sometimes you have to push through the frustration, doubt, and confusion and keep going, even when it isn’t fun or easy or inspirational.” -Eva Langston, “Unpopular & Unpleasant Writing Advice (You Should Still Probably Take)”

The way I’ve been helping my process lately is by slotting my novels into a “Save the Cat” beat sheet–it gives me just the right amount of outline while still allowing for discovery in between. Another technique I use is to reverse engineer, or fit my existing plot into an outlining format to see where there are gaps.

Of course, I could go on and on about writing advice and “Know the rules to break the rules,” et cetera, all day. I believe writing something is better than writing nothing. As much as the process sucks, and I feel like I’m holding myself back because gosh darnit, I just can’t concentrate enough to plot this out, it’s rewarding when my characters come to life and surprise me on the page.

Finishing Matt Bell’s book “Refuse to be Done” earlier this year felt reaffirming to my methods. Bell talks about “writing the islands” when you’re stuck.

“Instead of writing scene after scene in order (and then and then and then), write the big scenes you already know, no matter how far off they seem. Once those scenes exist on the page, the task then becomes writing between these known destinations, creating bridges to connect these islands.” -Matt Bell, “Refuse to Be Done: How to Write and Rewrite a Novel in Three Drafts”

The reality is, even though pantsing is not the most…time effective…method, I simply love the discovery. I like my story unfettered by the arbitrary rules and ideas I’ve establish for myself. Plus, I think a sick part of me likes picking up the pieces afterward, nitpicking details and bringing out my sharp, cold editing scissors.

I will (hopefully) continue to better myself by reading up on ways to outline and sitting down to actually outline where I need to. But to be honest, what I will do next, nobody knows! Not even myself.

Anyways, that’s a short update from me! My poem “out–gone fishing”1 is available to read in Issue 10 of Last Leaves Magazine, and my poem “fine dining” will be in the next edition of The Quarter(ly). (You can pre-order the “What We Do in the Ashes” issue). Plus, it’s not too late to read my short story in After Dinner Conversation!

And in other exciting news, I now have an Amazon author profile!

Thanks friends <3 until next time

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• The Quarter Press - “fine dining,” TBA

• I have an author interview coming out with After Dinner Conversation in August!

What is "The Apath" about?

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March 18, 2025

"Finn paid a pound for a vial of Love off a woman on Seventh Street…He couldn’t afford the real stuff—never could and never would…It was bitter at first, almost like Anger, but it had a sweet aftertaste."

Looking for more of me? My website is here.