Sheri and Matt Salis just wanted a regular life–regular marriage, regular careers, a regular house, and happy kids. Instead, they lived a life of lies and terror as they struggled with Matt’s alcoholism and emotional abuse. Unfortunately, their experience is quite regular. Sheri and Matt talk to other experts, to roundtable panels, and to each other. No subjects are off limits: The trauma of active addiction, the pain of recovery, the impact of emotional abuse, the “should I stay or should I go”…
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Our three panelists have a ton of experience being large and in-charge at work, then melting under the anxiety, uncertainty, and emotional abuse of living with alcoholism at home. What a confusing and demoralizing divergent existence. Hear how it feels to be effective and successful, and then also insecure and traumatized, all in the same day, over and over again. Please go to…
When people in committed relationships experience the alcoholism of one of the partners, it is widely assumed that relationship recovery is the ultimate goal. But does that make separation or divorce a sign of failure? Sheri and Matt discuss the relief that often accompanies living alone after relationship trauma, and who benefits the most. Please go to UntoxicatedSurvey.org to better understand…
What is the connection between addiction and never truly feeling content? We talk a lot about underlying issues for alcoholism – things like childhood trauma and financial stress. But what about when we chase external fulfillment because we are incapable of internal fulfillment? We pursue chaos because we are not comfortable being content. And what is it like to be in a relationship with someone…
What is it like to feel safe to speak your mind and explore your emotions? No fear of reaction. No one telling you what to do. Listen to Jen, Nikki, Mike, Tara, Jennifer, and Avia explain the value they find in growing and recovering in a no-judgement zone on this roundtable discussion live from the Echoes of Recovery 2026 summer retreat in the Colorado Rocky Mountains. Please go to…
What is sober living, anyway? If an alcoholic has completed detox and treatment, why do they need a sober living environment? Matt used to think sober living was a sign of weakness, and Sheri thought it was a place where they used nicotine as a wall covering. But once they met Kyle, Rebecca, and Nathan, this episode’s panelists, Sheri and Matt learned the incredible value of sober living for…
Leading experts in alcoholism recovery promote that the partner and other family members of the drinker play a role in the drinker’s sobriety. Sheri and Matt disagree. What do you think? Please go to UntoxicatedSurvey.org to better understand the impact of alcohol and/or emotional abuse on you and your family. Whether you are the drinker or the partner, whether you feel a lack of emotional safety…
Overstaying at the party, making grandiose plans, saying stupid stuff, passing out in public, missing all the social cues: Sheri and Matt talk about his behavior in his intoxicated summers, and how it impacted her and their kids. If you hear examples that feel familiar, please know that it is not OK and you are not alone. Please go to UntoxicatedSurvey.org to better understand the impact of…
Emotional safety is critically important to both relationship recovery, and also individual growth and discovery. We are triggered to soothe when we don’t feel safe, and authentic connection is impossible without safety. Sheri and Matt suggest the things that help them feel more individually safe, and mourn connections lost. Please go to UntoxicatedSurvey.org to better understand the impact of…
Matt understands that his drinking and past emotionally unsafe behavior created for Sheri triggers and traumas. Reaching that understanding was a slow evolution through years of curiosity and growth for them both. On this episode, the couple talks about progressing from, “I got sober for you. What more do you want from me?” through all the stages of awakening and awareness. They also talk about…
When asked about the impact on a relationship when an intoxicated partner begs for or demands sex, and the coercion works because the drinker’s partner is trying to keep the peace, Amanda Dames tells Sheri and Matt that the dynamic damages trust. And the partner who agrees to unwanted sex is using her body to find or maintain safety. Amanda Dames is a sexologist, a somatic certified sex and…
