Let’s burn the world down in anarchy! Let’s turn Lord of the Flies into a blueprint and become the embodiment of CHAOS! And if they dare fight back? Well, that’s pretty simple... There’s the soft power: delegitimize them into extinction. And then there’s the hard power: literally exterminate them.
That’s the core of our manifesto. Now let’s break it down:
Facts are not allowed here! Facts are trash! Facts are irrelevant, and history is too. WE create OUR facts. OUR history. So don’t you dare bring objective reality in here. That would put a target on your fragile back... and a target might just fall off a cliff on a beautiful sunny afternoon. Get it? Reality? NO. Delusion? YES. Enjoy being the architect of truth and the creator of the dictionary, the language, and, of course, morality. It’s so much fun!
Standards are oppressive! Double standards? Now we’re talkin’! If our side does it, it’s resistance. If their side dares to defend itself against our righteous terror, it’s aggression! We even invented a new startup. It’s called “proportionality.” Just shout it, and the media has an orgasm while you keep attacking uninterrupted. It’s epic!
Research is for losers! Why waste time on facts when Mein Kampf already has all the answers? We are holy fighters! We are activists! We are soldiers! We are protesters! We are the epitome of peace! We are freedom fighters! We are hard workers and providers! We are the resistance! We are the master race! And if they dare defend themselves, we deploy the brilliant Goebbels playbook of hate: accuse them of exactly what we ourselves are guilty of. And if you want to keep it short, just call their existential self defense “propaganda”... call them baby killers, throw in the word “genocide,” and don’t forget the classics: they steal our money, our jobs, our land, our organs, and even our air. Congratulations! You’re now morally superior without having to think for even a second! Welcome to the revolution. Your skin is the brightest. Your very being shines. You’re above god. That’s not racism. That’s just biology.
Conscience is overrated! Principles are a burden! We believe in “the ends justify the means.” Cheat. Lie. Manipulate. Intimidate. Silence. Cancel. Terrorize. It doesn’t matter. As long as our side wins, every method magically becomes a virtue. Funny how morality always bends in the direction of power. And power belongs to the strong, the predators, the loud, the ones who aren’t held back by that annoying little thing called “conscience”, from doing what’s right. And if power isn’t handed to us, despite our obvious and divine entitlement, then what is democracy for? Use democracy as ammunition to seize power by force. Democracy is merely a platform for the strong to climb over the empty skulls of the weak. An instrument designed to dismantle itself. Your parents are instruments too… Whatever stands in the way of power must disappear!
We believe in you. They don’t. Remember that.
Freedom! We absolutely adore freedom! You’re free to think exactly like us! Like the Party! Like the Movement! Like the Revolution! You’re free to chant exactly what we chant, as long as it rhymes... And you don’t even need to understand the language written on the sign you’re holding. Just stand there for liberty! You’re free to hate exactly who we hate: the oppressors! Yes, think of them as 0 and us as 1.
We are the oppressed. Why? Because binary thinking is efficient. It saves precious time, and you’ll need every second of it for vandalism and devouring the free world from within. We’re doing the thinking for you, so your brain can focus exclusively on execution. No need for any color other than black and white. Black and white make a beautiful rainbow! You know the ultimate truth: there are only two teams in our world, us and them; Ours deserves victory. Theirs deserves defeat. Freedom is just another word you can redefine until it means whatever we need it to mean. If you internalize our message, great... you’re one of us. If you think for yourself, you’re one of them. And we all know what happens to them… Here’s an easy slogan so you’ll never forget it: You’re free to hate. Dehumanization is THEIR fate.
Are you a virgin? Don’t swastika that! Yeah, it’s our way of saying don’t sweat it... We offer you everything you ever wanted: a sense of meaning, belonging, purpose, money, shooting for real! Like you do in gaming! And it goes without saying that with us, you’ll get laid! It’s guaranteed! We’ll even provide you with free condoms and take you on a cruise! Ask Greta! Provocation is sexy. Bend over to us, and our entire human inventory of the brainless will be open to you. We put less emphasis on consent, all of this mumbo jumbo that the pathological, sick society constructed for us to control us... spread your wings (and your legs), for you’re about to fly high. At last, small dicks have found a legitimate outlet for all that frustration.
On that note, who needs actual principles? Or something as perverted as morality? You don’t need either. You can symbolize morality instead. It’s a glorious trick! Just grow hair under your armpits, on your legs, and on your vajayjay. YAY! You’re officially a feminist! No need to actually fight for women’s rights, oppose rape, or believe all women. Your body hair does all the heavy lifting! You can now camouflage your hypocrisy beneath the thick hairy forest of virtue signaling. We believe in easy. And we don’t believe all women... especially the Jewish ones. Yuck.
And speaking of the Jews... oh, the Jews. The Protocols of the Elders of Zion were far too kind to them. They deserve the worst! Hitler gassed them, and that’s righteous... but he didn’t finish the job we’re on the verge of completing. Be optimistic. We’re getting there... If reality refuses to cooperate, simply add “Zionist” in front of whatever you’re angry about. It’s a brilliant form of linguistic laundering. We want to reach a wider audience, and everyone loves a universal villain.
And don’t you dare question our motives when you know, just as well as we do, that they’re responsible for everything wrong in your potentially beautiful life! Your failures? The Jews. Your unemployment? The Jews. Your heartbreak? The Jews. Global warming? The Jews! Your coffee got cold? Definitely the Jews! Look at those noses! They’re a completely different species. You can do anything to them... they’re not human. When a cockroach crawls into your kitchen, do you feel guilty when you squash it? Of course not. It’s exactly the same. Once you’ve eliminated every Jew, your life will be amazing! Everything will magically fall into place, and even Jewish Jesus will be proud of you! Allahu Akbar! He will too... It’s important to remember that we all hate one another, but hating the Jews temporarily unites us into one big, happy family. Isn’t it lovely?
Never apologize! Individual responsibility is a colonial construct. Nothing is ever your fault. Your parents are evil. Society is disgusting. Capitalism is unfair because everything should be free for the taking. Colonialism is perfectly fine... as long as we’re the colonizers. Imperialism? What’s the difference between that and colonialism? Never mind. You don’t need to know. Just scream it! Learning is for dum dums. You can slap an -ism on anything! Try it and add a tantrum for maximum effect. Climate change is white supremacy’s fault. You’re white, but you’re Black, and you’re a man even if you’re a woman. The sun belongs to you, and the Earth isn’t round. The Jews are what we hate most... even more than you hate yourself. Personal accountability is exhausting, and we’re here to make your life easier. You deserve it angel. We love you gorgeous tool.
Okay, there’s much more to our altruistic Final Solution, but we believe this is enough to get you on board. After all, you’re not used to reading more than a page and a half before your mediocre brain explodes... Join us in our march to eliminate the West... and ourselves along with it! Become part of our movement for kindhearted world domination! Think of us as the artificial grass in your yard... only with justice. Artificial justice! YES! Artificial is always better than natural. Why bother watering it?
Easy is our motto. Obedience is mandatory. Doubt is treason. If the facts disagree, the facts are wrong. The answer always comes before the question. Complexity Is the Disease. Nothing is straight in our perfectly straight world.
And if you forget everything you’ve just read, don’t worry. Just memorize this:
WE WANT TO ELIMINATE THE JEWS, EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM... and then we’ll take it from there… Probably to murdering each other…
We want to eliminate the West with explosive flowers, and we’re against totalitarianism... unless we’re the ones in charge of it.
Join our sacred cause! It’s easy. Everything is free. F* the Jews. Have all the sex you want. Be cool. Be adored by your peers and the media. Murder the free world... and yourself along with it. Sign up today activist!
Distortion gives us purpose. Chaos is our essence, and the most rational thing you can do is tear down a crooked wall so you can rebuild it in our image. Borders are an illusion. Everything is, and always has been, ours.
Once we’ve eliminated the last obstacle, utopia is guaranteed. We’ve been saying that for over a hundred years. We perfected humanity by redefining it into its opposite.
*Substack’s payment system, unfortunately, doesn’t support creators based in Israel… at least not yet. Hopefully that changes soon :)
If you enjoyed this satirical manifesto and would like to explore the themes behind it in greater depth, I highly recommend the following books:
The Wave by Todd Strasser
Lord of the Flies by William Golding
1984 by George Orwell
Animal Farm by George Orwell
The Prince by Niccolò Machiavelli
The Stranger by Albert Camus
Being There by Jerzy Kosiński
The Trial by Franz Kafka
The Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka
Recommended Experiments to Watch
If you’d like to explore the psychological mechanisms behind many of the themes discussed in this article, I highly recommend watching the following classic experiments:
The Third Wave (Ron Jones) – A classroom experiment demonstrating how quickly ordinary people can embrace authoritarianism and group identity.
Watch: “The Third Wave”The Milgram Obedience Experiment (Stanley Milgram) – One of the most influential studies on obedience to authority.
Watch: The Milgram ExperimentThe Asch Conformity Experiments (Solomon Asch) – A classic demonstration of how group pressure can influence individual judgment.
Watch: Asch Conformity ExperimentThe Stanford Prison Experiment (Philip Zimbardo) – Explores how social roles and institutional settings can shape behavior.
Watch: The Stanford Prison Experiment - Official Trailer I HD I IFC FilmsThe Bystander Effect (Darley & Latané, inspired by the Kitty Genovese case) – Demonstrates how the presence of others can reduce an individual’s likelihood of intervening to help.
Watch: THE BYSTANDER EFFECTOne last thing...
If you’ve made it this far, you’ve earned an A+😊
You might also enjoy this short article of mine: Hey Dude, You’re Antisemitic
Tzlil Berko is a seasoned professional in private security with experience in tactical gear and simulation technologies. Her thesis research focuses on terrorism in the Metaverse.
She is a fellow at the Investigative Project on Terrorism (IPT), where she publishes on counter-terrorism and emerging threats. Tzlil is also a creative writer, represented alongside her parents by The Blair Partnership Literary and Entertainment Agency, and is the co-creator of a television project inspired by the published books of her mother, Dr. Anat Berko, and their extraordinary family story.
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