on hope

Just heard back from my first job interview in over a year. And got rejected (and felt relief after getting rejected.) How do people do this?  The relief is because I am currently in Oregon!! The exact opposite side of the country from Georgia. I would have worked on vacation, but I’m glad I don’t have to. I came for a cartoonist retreat-which I hope will help me feel like a real cartoonist. Every time I get rejected from something that isn’t art, beyond being sad and scared, I get more sure.

Art is always the answer. I made up this mantra last year while I was doing the artist’s way(Julia Cameron) last year and it keeps coming to me. I hate that I’m most scared of what brings me infinite joy. Anyway, I went out to Cannon Beach with a new friend. The beach was cold and windy and wet and the salt made me cry. It was lovely. I love how cold and gray it is, especially once I’m in the warm woody cabin. There’s something about being around other artists that makes being a pro seem possible.

It has to be. We did karaoke last night!! I’ve been needing to do karaoke with other people FOR YEARS. I sang the iconic Duvet – Boa, followed by Shy – Leon Bridges, and did my first duet! To Mariah Carey. I am blanking on the title right now. Anyway I love singing!!! And I’m glad I came out here. I keep wanting to cry but in a good way…mostly. I have a place to aim for at least, a general area to aim for. I really do need to live near water. The misty rain makes me happy.

….infinite love + peace … Tulani Kiara

Ay, Mija by Christine Suggs – people brought comics they’ve drawn to the retreat, and I’m in progress w this graphic novel abt Christine’s coming of age! V cute drawings and well-integrated Spanish!! A good model for the graphic novel I’m working on in more ways than one.

Desire, I Want to Turn into You by Caroline Polachek – Love this album!! Love the 90s sound. Love love. Love “Fly to You” especially since Dido is actually featured in it!!

The Three-Body Problem by Cixin Liu – Aliens exist!!! I came into this book having no idea what the actual plot was and I wasn’t disappointed but I was ANNOYED by someone’s actions. Naming anything would make it too obvious who. The audiobook was bookended by spooky, otherworldly music, as it should be.