welcome to my corner of the internet. here you will find my words, fresh from the chaos of my brain, edited but unfiltered, probably powered by coffee and...
our brain is constantly trying to finish the things we leave unfinished. unfinished work, broken appliances, unresolved feelings, conversations we never had, things we keep putting off because we don’t know what to do with them. they pile up. one by one. until, at some point, they turn into a knot. i realized this during the times when i started doing those “empty your mind onto paper” exercises.…
i've noticed that some people are genuinely able to celebrate their achievements, both the big milestones and the small moments: graduations, marriages, anniversaries, reaching a goal... for me, it's different. when i finish something, my reaction is usually just, "okay, great. that's one less thing occupying my mind." it feels more like clearing mental space than achieving something. the moments…
a friend i met online and followed on instagram years ago reached out to me after finding my blog. i haven't been on instagram for more than a year now, and she didn't have my phone number. i was genuinely so happy to get her email. it felt like the old days, when you reached out to people through email, tumblr, or whatever else was around at the time. she told me she's visiting istanbul, so…
back in the day, in one of my philosophy classes, we were given a list of films organized by different areas of philosophy. i started borrowing two films a week from the university's film center and worked my way through that list. that's how i discovered directors like kieslowski, tarkovsky, bergman, richard linklater, michel gondry, david lynch, kubrick, wim wenders, truffaut, jim jarmusch, lars…
it keeps saying to me: go deeper. past the surface. past the layers. reach the core. and every time you think you've reached the center, keep going.
i can't quite dig into it. it is just there. it has intensity, but at the same time it feels very light. it is gentle, yet brave; quiet and always reaching. at least, that is what i hear when i listen closely. it keeps saying to me: expand. expand to the worlds beyond your own. all the way to the edges of the world. and then a little farther.
i want to stick to one book at a time, but i just can't. i keep telling myself i'll pick one and see it through. i never do. instead, i end up reading three or four books at the same time. i usually have four books in rotation: the current book club pick a fiction novel a classic and a non-fiction book some days i crave the mental challenge. other days i just want to get lost in a story, so i…
my mother used to tell me she'd find me standing on the balcony in the middle of the night, simply looking out into the world. i was also told that when i was only two years old, i quietly walked out of the house and made my way to my aunt's home without anyone noticing. later, whenever i went outside to play with friends, i would always wander off on little adventures. even as a child, i remember…
that is what drives us to write. once thoughts and feelings become words, they start to make more sense.
according to flynn skidmore, you can’t change through self-criticism. this idea strongly resonated with what i already had in mind, and i want to share his explanation of it: when we criticize ourselves, our nervous system perceives it as a threat. it triggers a survival response: fight, flight, or freeze. in this state, the brain is no longer focused on growth, but on safety. that’s why we often…