Issue 103: Don't lose yourself in the dress code

What do I wear to a bridal shower? What do I wear to a concert? What do I wear to a charity event in the summer?

The minute we have somewhere to go, we start focusing on what everyone else will be wearing. We try to follow the dress code but lose sight of our identity in the process.

Of course, there is nothing wrong with wearing what everyone else is wearing. But the way I get dressed, and what I work on with my clients, is about intention. Wearing something because you chose it. Because you had a reason for it that started with you, not with the dress code. Even if you end up in a floral dress like everyone around you, the way you arrived there should feel different.

I had a client who went to a baby shower and hated her outfit. She wore a dôen top and jeans.

I asked how she came to that outfit.

She said she thought the dôen top screamed baby shower, and that jeans made sense because that’s what everyone else would be wearing

That’s where it went wrong. She never asked herself the more important question: but is that what I want to wear? Is that how I want to show up? Is that when I feel most myself?

And not for the purpose of being different for the sake of it. But because walking into a room feeling like yourself is a different experience than walking in feeling like everyone else.

I had her try the top with black drapey trousers instead. She felt so much more herself. And I saw it on her face immediately.

(Selfishly, this is my favorite part of the job.)

The dôen top made sense for the shower. But the trousers are what made the outfit feel like her.

(outfits, client sessions, and pieces I'm into are below for paid readers)