Honey, an orange kitty with a picky appetite and loads of modeling potential, came into my life the way most cat people wish they would: The Cat Distribution System™.
She was abandoned along with four other cats after their previous owners moved out of their apartment. They just left them behind. When the apartment manager came to me asking if I wanted this tiny, malnourished, shivering little thing, I said “Yes.”
(Turns out she was also a month pregnant when I rescued her, just a kitten herself. So rescuing one cat quickly turned into rescuing five more teeny tiny babies. Her kittens have all since found happy, loving homes.)
Just like her mother (me, of course), Honey loves movies. She sits next to me and gazes up at the screen like a little cutie, especially interested whenever another animal finds its way across the screen. Of course, I’ve shown her some great films in the two years I’ve had her. And here’s how I’d describe them if she just knew English. (What am I saying? She totally does. My baby’s multilingual.)
While you might not identify with the “Designated Ugly Fat Friend” moniker of this Mae Whitman teen rom-com, you likely still love the idea of falling for your best friend who also happens to be your neighbor. You strike me as a friends-to-lovers kind of cat, Honey. Plus, the subtlety of Robbie Amell falling hard is superb. I bet you’d love for someone to fall that hard for you. And why wouldn’t they?
Listen, Honey. You had kittens when you came into my life. I know you’ve slept with at least one other cat, which is why you should watch this Anna Faris/Chris Evans movie. Anna goes through great effort to date one of her past duds because she’s desperate not to raise her number of sexual partners. But you wouldn’t do that, because you know the number, no matter how high or low, is not an indication of moral failing. You’ve meowed so yourself.
There’s new love, old love, unrequited love, and even heartbreak. Honey, some people say that this movie is unrealistic, but I don’t think they’ve even seen it. Once you watch Emma Thompson cry silently to Joni Mitchell, you know this isn’t some kind of fairytale. And you know what other kind of love could be in this movie, actually? The love I have for you! Isn’t that nice?
Okay, you’ve spent pretty most your entire life indoors. But the way you paw at the glass sliding door when I’m out on the patio suggests you might love the locale of this book-turned-movie. Ellie Kemper is just trying to find herself post-divorce, so it’s extra annoying when her brother’s best friend joins the same month-long hiking group. Want to go hiking, Honey? Are you an adventure kitty?
Happiness for Beginners on Netflix
Listen, I know you hate when I’m on my phone, especially at night when you’d rather we start our bedtime routine. But what if I’m texting with the love of my life and we just haven’t met yet? It may sound like a modern fairytale, and it is. But when you watch Hilary Duff and Chad Michael Murray swirl around a ballroom at Halloween prom or whatever, you’ll see where I’m coming from.
A Cinderella Story on Prime Video
If you want to say Hi to Honey, you can leave a message in the comments. I’ll make sure she gets it!
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