Why Trying to Change Your Partner Never Works

In this episode of Tripping Over Love, we sit down with Paul Gilmartin, comedian and host of The Mental Illness Happy Hour, for an honest conversation about relationships, vulnerability, and emotional maturity.

We talk about what has to be unlearned to build healthier relationships—letting go of escalation, expressing feelings without blame, and releasing the idea that it’s your job to change your partner. We explore how fear, avoidance, and humor can get in the way of intimacy, and why learning to sit with anger, confusion, and discomfort can actually bring people closer.

We also get into career identity, financial stress, sobriety, and redefining success when professional life goes sideways. Paul shares how meaning, purpose, and community have become more sustaining than money or recognition, and how those values shape both romantic relationships and self-trust.