The Pause Has Value

Friends,

So we are on our last week of the school year. We are wrapping things up here at Tree Sprites.

Funny thing is, the garden is so far from having anything wrapped up, it feels like it is about to explode.

I have one plum tree in full “please come pick us” mode. I feel like I can barely keep up this week. We have harvested bowls full of plums every day. Which means I am not harvesting other things that are ready, like mint, lemon verbena, lemon balm, mulberries (luckily there are only a few), blueberries, and blackberries.

And then there are the flowers.

The poppies are opening in all their beautiful splendor. It is hilarious to watch several bees at a time rolling around inside the flowers, getting completely covered in pollen and acting almost drunk with excitement. They absolutely love it

.

Today we asked the children what things they had learned over the year here at Tree Sprites.

We got answers like:

“Don’t eat plants or fruit without asking.”

And,

“If someone is hurt, we go see if they need anything to help them feel better.”

As they were reflecting on all the things they had learned, I found myself wondering:

What did you learn this year, Teacher Todd?

Wow. There are so many things.

One thing that stands out is that curiosity feels more obtainable than it used to.

When something happens in the garden, or with the children, I am trying to be less reactive and more curious. I am just looking for a pause, a breath if you will, so I can be more intentional about how I meet the situation.

And because the children are learning so much through imitation, it feels important that I practice that pause myself.

The more I learn about my own triggers, the less they get to decide how I respond.

One of the larger triggers I run into is wanting to immediately protect the child who got pushed, bumped, or hurt.

There is a part of me that wants to jump in and defend my friend.

But what I am learning is that the story I tell myself in that first moment is not always what actually happened.

If one child pushes another, it is easy to imagine a victim and a perpetrator. Someone hurt and someone doing the hurting.

But in almost every case here, that isn’t really what is happening.

Usually it is carelessness. Excitement. Not yet noticing someone else’s body in space. A child moving faster than their awareness. A need trying to be met in a clumsy way.

It is very rarely mean. It is almost never hateful.

Most often it is simply children learning how to be with other people.

My goal is not to become a judge or a jury.

My goal is to become a little more like an old Buddhist monk.

To bring a little more light, a little more curiosity, and a little more calmness to each situation.

I think the children benefit from that.

Not because conflict disappears, but because they get to see another way of meeting it.

They get to experience that when something difficult happens, we don’t have to rush to blame. We can slow down. We can get curious. We can try to understand what happened before deciding what it means.

And maybe that is one of the things I learned this year.

The pause itself has value.

Sometimes the most helpful thing we can bring to a situation is not the answer.

Sometimes it is our curiosity.

Until next time friends,

Teacher Todd