Everyone Looks Like They’re Struggling, Except they are not.

“I haven't studied much either!" The infamous words of comfort. When exam anxiety would kick in and I would realise, at the last minute, that I should have started studying when the semester began, and no matter how much I tried to lock in two weeks before the exam day, it would just never be enough.

I would be worried, asking friends what they studied, if they could explain a concept or theory, and when they said they were clueless , I'd feel a certain sense of relief, that at least someone hadn't studied hard, that my I wasn't the only one with excuses.

That maybe my excuses were valid.

I always walked into the exam room half confident, almost sure what grade I'd score, a C probably. I'd think, I'm not alone in this because a couple of my classmates said they barely studied and I took their word for it.

That the unit was difficult and the professor was hard to follow. When in truth the same friends had spent the weekend revising past papers and coming up with a backup formation squad and "tactics" to bridge their Cs into Bs.

When they had attended all the classes, taken notes and even recorded lectures while I was battling drowsiness after staying up late doom scrolling.

Life works the same way.

In the age of an economic crisis, it seems like everyone is struggling to make ends meet. Everyone is job hunting, complaining about heavy taxes and low income, expensive rent, skyrocketing fuel prices, student loans.

Complaining is contagious and fun. Try talking about what you're grateful for and watch everyone leave the discussion.

Complaining brings in a sense of solidarity. It feels like community. If everyone is complaining, it means everyone is tired and nothing is working out. Yay, I'm not the only one sucking at this.

You'll log into your socials and see a friend share a meme on how "adulting sucks" and you'll think, yes, at least I'm not alone, only that you don't know for sure.

People work three jobs, night shifts, early morning shifts. Except such sources of income are kept on the low. They rarely make it to LinkedIn or their main CV. Nobody likes to be seen like they're trying too hard. We would rather say we're manifesting, praying or attracting. That the universe gives and you just need to sow, vibes and other bs.

People save aggressively for a vacation, a good car or a house deposit, but they'll never let you in on it.

After all, effortlessness is chic.

You'll never see the aggressive cuts they made, the late night calls they make to make sure their new business downtown is picking up nicely, the diploma course they took or how they learnt about entrepreneurship and SMEs.

You will, however, hear that they don't want to buy a car because it's a liability, but they might consider it because well, YOLO.

People will always downplay their wins and promotions to avoid resentment. Success and being at the top also makes it harder to keep community, hence why it's easier to complain and seem vulnerable to avoid isolation.

So here you are thinking, we're all in the same boat. You want to quit your 9 to 5 with your economics degree because one of your friends said it's corporate slavery.

They don't tell you that they sell software and create apps that pay five months of rent in one deposit. A private hustle. They invest in stocks, ETFs, financial literacy masterclasses, evening online classes.

You won't know it till you come across their "just graduated" post on LinkedIn. How did they graduate with a master's degree in cloud engineering when you've been partying together every Friday nonstop for the past one year?

So when you get comfortable behind your screen, thinking that we're all in the same boat, your friends are out going for therapy, getting wellness subscriptions, getting life insurance, making their relationships work and building harder, brick by brick, like you do with your Tiktok algorithm.

Maybe you could take lessons from that and translate it into real life, unfollow what doesn't work, mute distractions, focus on a niche topic or hashtag and really zoom in to what you want out of life.

The sooner you lock in, the better for you. Otherwise you'll be stuck in a comparison and caught-unawares loop.

Yes, the economy is hard just like the exam was hard, but others found tutors and ways to score As, and you'll be damned to think that everyone is “ just struggling.”