matchctl: The First Dating App for Linux Users (Because You've Already Mounted /dev/sad)

⚠️ Disclaimer This post is a satire . It is entirely a work of humor and parody . Any resemblance to real software, platforms, people (alive, dead, or emotionally sandboxed), projects, distributions, or systemd maintainers is purely coincidental . If you found this post while trying to actually install a dating app via the terminal, please step away from the keyboard and talk to a human.…