I wanted to run my own AI. My laptop says not yet

The pitch sells itself. An assistant that's entirely mine, running on my own machine, needing no connection, with nothing I type ever leaving the room. No company counting my tokens. No subscription. No outage on someone else's servers wrecking my afternoon (I'm looking at you, Anthropic, and your recurring outages). I wanted that badly enough that I spent a few months chasing it, and I want to…