The Cynical Nerd Got an Instagram and No, I'm Not Okay About It

Look. I need to tell you something and I need you not to make it weird. I made an Instagram account. I know. I know. Instagram, the platform that started as a hipster with a Polaroid and a dream and slowly mutated into a fever swamp of engagement bait, sponsored detox teas, and grown adults pointing at floating text with the urgency of air traffic controllers. The place where every third post is a…