Cardboard Anxiety

I can't remember how I used to run games in the past, like what I found difficult or easy to GM, was I worried about being unfair or overly generous? I don't think I was ever a killer GM or terribly indulgent with the magic items and such. I was probably always earnest and a wee bit stingy, maybe a tad mudcore . Mind you, I do remember one time killing off the whole party so I could get back to…