I Read the Terms of Service for My Smart TV and Now I Sleep with One Eye Open

It was a beautiful moment. The delivery team, like two benevolent angels in matching polo shirts, had just mounted my new MegaCorp Glimmer-Screen 9000 to the wall. It was a sleek, obsidian monolith of pure 8K resolution, so thin it seemed to defy the laws of physics. It promised a world of seamless streaming, voice-activated convenience, and a picture so clear I could count the pores on a news…