Do the helicopter, get in the helicopter, and do the helicopter again

And we are back again in this taint between Christmas and New Year! Join Luke and Rich as they are bloated confused masses of chocolate and cheese trying to get their heads around this season so far for Wednesday with their usual half-season player reviews. Who do we wish would reawaken as the opponent goal-shagging behemoth of yesteryear? Which other player "has scored goals relative to his…